(Clearwisdom.net) Although I have practiced Dafa for quite a long time, I was not able to find my fundamental attachment until recently. After reading many fellow practitioners' articles in "Minghui Weekly," I finally realized that my fundamental attachment was the attachment to myself, that is, selfishness. Selfishness is the fundamental nature of the old cosmos and it is the attachment that we need to get rid of during our cultivation. Selfishness creates all kinds of attachments, addictions and notions.
The attachment of fear is a manifestation of selfishness, such as fear of being persecuted and fear of not being understood by ordinary people. Many times, the attachment of fear was hidden. For example, when clarifying the truth, I only talked to people. I was afraid to give them Falun Gong materials. I thought that by doing so, I would not leave any evidence or proof. This kind of notion hides a lot of bad things. Fear of leaving evidence actually acknowledges the old forces' arrangements, and acknowledges that the old forces can persecute us. It is also a manifestation of not studying the Fa well, and a reflection of a lack of righteous thoughts. Certainly, the safety issue is also very important. We should not have any safety omissions. With strong righteous thoughts and without any omissions, safety should not be a problem. If we really cultivated into divine beings, would they have any problems with safety in the human world?
After studying the Fa and exchanging cultivation experiences with fellow practitioners, I finally realized the significance of our responsibilities in saving sentient beings. I should do it and I must do it. I wanted to save as many people as possible, as soon as possible. I saw some flyers and brochures that made very good truth-clarifying material, so I began giving them to people when I clarified the truth to them. In the beginning, I only gave the materials to trustworthy relatives and friends. Gradually, I also gave them to other people. This process was very natural and I did not have any fear and worry. At last I broke through the attachment of fear.
Looking back at my own experience, I realized that as long as I study the Fa more and study the Fa well, I will remember my responsibility and mission. When I see the people suffering and kind thoughts of saving them come into my mind, I can naturally clarify the truth to them, give them the truth-clarifying materials and persuade them to withdraw from the CCP.
There was another aspect of my cultivation that I often wondered about. When people higher up in the company came to our office to inspect our work, someone reported to them that I practice Falun Gong. I also heard a few people saying that I was very selfish. At that time, my human notions emerged. I could not quiet my mind. Why I was selfish? I usually use my own money to cover some of the work expenses. I often contribute my personal belongings to the office. I use the standard of a Dafa disciple to be strict with myself. Why was I seen as being selfish?
However, when I calmed down and examined myself based on the Fa, I realized that it was not simply that I was selfish. It was another, more serious problem.
What was it? Due to my attachment of fear, I only clarified the truth to people I trusted, such as relatives and friends. But for people who had not heard the truth, their awakened sides were really eager to know. Of course they thought I was selfish. Divine beings would also think I was selfish.
The consequence of this was that I was reported to the authorities because I was afraid of been reported. When I truly realized that I needed to clarify the truth to more people and should not divide them into friends and strangers, I started to put my thoughts into action. I needed to do so wisely without pursuing quick results.
Later, when the authorities returned to inspect our workplace a few more times, no one reported me anymore. I know that Master always helps me and protects me. As long as I have righteous thoughts and righteous actions, I will not be in any real danger.
I know that I still have many attachments. I still stumble in my cultivation. However, my righteous belief in Master and Dafa will never change. We will all do the three things better and better.
January 25, 2006
