(Clearwisdom.net) I am 11 years old and in the 6th grade. I started practicing Falun Gong with my mother when I was a small child. Recently, since I didn't have a deep understanding of Fa-rectification cultivation and the responsibilities of a genuine practitioner, my cultivation state has been unstable, although I always wanted to strive diligently forward. Since I did not do the three things well, I had a lot of tribulations and interference, particularly while attending and participating in the performance for NTDTV's Chinese New Year's Global Gala. It was Master who helped me overcome the tribulations by enduring so much for me, and it was all the practitioners who supported me and helped me discover my attachments and get rid of them. Because of other practitioners' encouragement, I am writing my experiences and I hope it can help all the young practitioners who have similar problems.
Growing Up in Dafa
My mother began studying the Fa when I was not yet one year old. In Falun Dafa, she found the thing she had always looked for. Benevolent Master purified her body when she had not even finished reading the first lecture of Zhuan Falun. All of my mother's many illnesses she had suffered from for a long time then disappeared. She had kidney and stomach inflammation, headaches, arthritis and Meniere's disease. Mother experienced exhilaration at her illness-free life and felt that her life was renewed.
Mother told me that my celestial eye opened when she brought home the precious book, "Zhuan Falun" for the first time. I reached out and tried to grab the book, telling people, "rotating, rotating," with hands turning. When mother read the fifth lecture where Master said, "Those with supernormal abilities can see that this Falun is rotating," everybody was amazed by Dafa. Since then, Mother often read Zhuan Falun to me. In my childhood I often listened to Zhuan Falun before going to sleep.
My parents told me that I was pretty tall and strong when I was little. When I was three, my parents sent me to daycare. Another child scratched my hand and made it bleed, so I pushed her down to the ground. Mother then said to me, "Master always teaches us practitioners that the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at." I learned that I did wrong, so since then I never fought back.
Once my parents took me to buy some fruit. On the way back we ran into a lot of older people who knew us. My parents asked me how we should greet them. I gave all my fruit to them without leaving any for myself. I felt unhappy then, so my mother smiled at me, "Little cultivator, did you forget that Master said we should consider others first?" Then I felt happy again. When I was four, my mother's workplace organized a vacation trip. The bus was one hour late picking us up. My mother complained to the manager, so I reminded mother that a cultivator should uphold her xinxing and should forbear. The adults all smiled.
I also had some karma-elimination experiences. The manifestations were always serious fever in the evening. My body temperature was above 104 degrees each time, but my mind was always clear. Once the temperature was even higher. My father was worried and wanted to buy some medicine to lower the temperature. I helped mother to talk my father out of it and said to him, like an adult, "It is good to eliminate some karma, and fever helps kids to grow up." Indeed, my parents found that I became a little more mature after each fever episode. Just like this, my mother and I enjoyed Buddha's compassion by helping each other and encouraging each other in our cultivation. That period was the most pleasant time we had.
Even after Jiang's gang launched the persecution of Falun Gong in July 1999, we still believed that Dafa is the greatest and were still solid in cultivation. Mother was a manager of an international company's Chinese subsidiary. Many of her bosses, co-workers and customers understood her. Many people read Zhuan Falun because of her and had positive understandings of Dafa, although they did not start cultivation. But, since we lost the group Fa-study environment and contact with other practitioners after the persecution started, and mother's workplace was also fairly isolated, we did not have any chance to get Master's new articles. We did not know very much about the persecution circumstances. We just felt it was unfair that such a wonderful Dafa was being persecuted, and automatically clarified the truth to people around us with our own experience.
Starting Fa-rectification Cultivation
Our whole family eventually moved to Canada. We finished all of Master's new lectures in ten days after we arrived in this free land. We learned the truth of the persecution, what Fa-rectification cultivation is and Dafa disciples' responsibilities. We stepped onto the path of Fa-rectification cultivation.
It was Falun Dafa Day one month after we got here. Mother and I overcame all kinds of difficulties and, with other practitioners' help, we went to Vancouver for a Fa conference. It was an unforgettable event for me to see benevolent Master for the first time in my life, and actually listen to his lecture. Later, I went to several conferences and listened to Master many times. Each time I could always feel Master's immense benevolence.
After the Vancouver conference, mother and I found a local exercise site and joined the group Fa-study, participated in the exercises and all kinds of Fa-spreading activities and Fa conferences. We both felt that we were "back in the family" after being lost for many years.
But gradually I slacked off in cultivation. Since I didn't clarify the truth with wisdom in school, my classmates did not understand me and I felt that I had no common ground with them. Sometime I felt depressed and lonely, and my cultivation became passive. Later, I got addicted to pets, TV shows and the Internet. I could not calm down when doing the exercises and could not even hold my arms up when doing the second exercise with my parents. It hurt to do the exercises out of doors, particularly during winter. I started to avoid doing the exercises. I could not calm down to read the Fa and lost the indescribable, wonderful feeling of reading the Fa which I had before. Many times I read the Fa as if I needed to finish a task. I usually only sent forth righteous thought once a day and missed the other three times. I didn't have any feeling when sending forth righteous thoughts. Sometimes I even doubted whether I had righteous thoughts. When I first got to Canada I was very devoted to Dafa work, but later I gave up when I ran into difficulties. I did not do well in any of the "three things" that a Dafa disciple should do.
Gradually, the wonderful feeling of cultivation became fuzzy and I had no sense of cultivating. Mother was very busy with Dafa work. When she was with me we only studied the Fa, did exercises or Dafa work. We spent very little time on other things. When my everyday person's emotions welled up, I felt lonely. Sometimes I treated myself as an everyday person. I would think that I am just a child and not able to take on the big responsibility of saving people. I felt uncomfortable. I would stand up and try to do things well each time after mother talked to me, but this good state would only last a few days. I also felt anguish that the sentient beings in my paradise would die due to my bad cultivation state. Just like that, my cultivation had become unstable, but I could not break through it.
Overcoming the Tribulation
A while ago I attended the rehearsal for NTDTV's Global Gala. Although my house is two hours' drive from the rehearsal place, my parents were very supportive, and encouraged me to do well in the three things. They reminded me that I should not do Dafa work as an ordinary person; instead, I should do it as a cultivator. But I didn't take it seriously. Since I did not do well, the old forces took advantage of my loopholes. One week before we went to New York for the gala, I contracted a chickenpox-like rash, which was very itchy and extremely painful.
Because of the itching, the first day I could not fall asleep at all. Mother played Master's lectures for me. She kept me company and talked to me. Mother told me that this was the old forces' taking advantage of my loopholes. Their purpose was to interfere with me attending the gala. The only solution to overcome this was to do the three things well and deny their arrangements.
I realized that cultivation is serious, and that I had many problems to make up for. The old forces tried to take advantage of my problems to destroy me and the sentient beings in my future realm. I made up my mind that no matter what, I would not let the old forces do this and would try my best to attend the gala, which is my battle of validating the Fa, and I should never give in. I promised Master that I would do my best, although I didn't do well before, and I also asked Master for His help.
At the time of globally sending forth righteous thoughts in the morning, the extreme itch on my body was miraculously reduced and I had a short 15-minute nap. Feeling such Dafa power, I truly realized the amazing power of practitioners' righteous thoughts, and what kind of mighty virtue it is for practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts every day. I can also imagine the immense scene of practitioners fighting with evil in other dimensions and cleaning the whole universe.
I didn't go to school the second day; I stayed at home and studied the Fa calmly. Master has told us,
"...And yet a small number of students-veteran students, even -- have to differing degrees exhibited a despondent state and slackened in their resolve to be diligent. They haven't realized that this is an attachment to the duration of Fa-rectification, or is caused by interference from incorrect, acquired notions, which results in their gaps being exploited by interfering factors that the old forces left behind early on in the surface of the human dimension, wicked specters, or rotten demons-things that have magnified and strengthened those attachments and human notions-all of which has brought about this despondent state..."
"...the cultivators of the past didn't dare to slack off for even a second, and that was when it took an entire lifetime to complete the journey. So how can Dafa disciples-who are to achieve the Attainment Status of a being who is saved by Dafa and who have the most convenient cultivation way-not be even more diligent when they are given this most glorious honor of Fa-validating cultivation in a brief cultivation period that passes in the blink of an eye? You already know that the form of a Dafa disciple's cultivation has one cultivate here, in the world, among ordinary people, and that the cultivation directly targets one's mind. All human attachments and notions that interfere with validating the Fa and saving sentient beings must be removed. For cultivators traveling a divine path, is it really that hard to get rid of those attachments that arise from human thinking and to change those notions? If a cultivator doesn't want to get rid of even those things, well, how is he to show that he's a cultivator?"
"... but you should take fewer detours on this most magnificent, divine path; not leave reason for regret in your futures; and not fall so far behind in terms of levels. That is my hope, your hope, and the hope of the beings who are counting on you." ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be")
I had a clear understanding of my own problems after studying the Fa. I didn't feel lost any more, and the long-missed, wonderful feeling of cultivation returned to me. We should stand up and move on instead of lying there after falling down. I decided to plug my loopholes, starting with doing the three things well.
Since I had been slacking off with the exercises for long time, my movements were not accurate anymore. Previously, I had felt uncomfortable when mother tried to correct my movements. When doing the group exercise I always tried to avoid standing in front of mother, for I cannot calm down and concentrate on the exercises. But that day I felt ashamed of my incorrect movements after such a long time of cultivation. I asked mother to do the exercises with me and correct me if I did them wrong. Since I had not had much food or sleep the previous day I felt tired and could not hold my arms up. Soon after the second set of exercises started, I felt as if there was a mountain on my arms. Mother reminded me of Master's words,
"When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it." (Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun from 2000 translation version)
So, I repeated this sentence in my mind, again and again. Initially I still counted to see how many minutes were left, but later my mind became righteous and I thought that I would persist, even if I died there that day. I promised that I would follow Master home, no matter how long the road is. The benevolent Master saw my mindset. He chopped down my karma mountain that was pressing on my arms. I felt suddenly light and could endure it. Just like this, in tears, I finished the five sets of exercise with mother.
I also started sending forth righteous thoughts more seriously. I didn't miss any time to send forth righteous thought that day. I was in concentration, although I didn't have any strong feeling, because I already knew that Dafa disciples' righteous thoughts are powerful.
The third afternoon we went to group Fa-study. I read the Fa loudly and carefully from beginning to end. I was not absent minded as before when we were sharing and listened attentively to everybody's sharing. Fellow practitioners shared their experiences of overcoming sickness tribulations. One practitioner also had a chickenpox-like rash all over her face and body, right before she went to see a senatorial candidate during the election last year. When she realized that she had an attachment to her looks and then denied the interference with her righteous thoughts, she went to meet the senatorial candidate anyway. She quickly recovered. The other practitioners' sharing helped me much.
After this group Fa-study the rash got worse. It covered my whole body and even inside my mouth. I could not eat or sleep. Mother asked me if I would still attend the rehearsal the next day. I thought that I would infect or scare the other girls. I told myself, "Don't interfere with others. I should not go." But later I had second thoughts, "Isn't that a human notion? Didn't I treat this as human disease? Moreover, I am a cultivator, so I should put down my attitude of 'keeping face.'" I decided to go. Mother called our art director who is also a practitioner. The director said, "The other girls are cultivators too, so there should not be any problem. Bring her here. We need to study the Fa more, do the exercises more and send more righteous thoughts. We will help her to send forth righteous thoughts." Fellow practitioners' words made me more confident.
During the night the itch was extreme. I could not sit or sleep. It itched so much that I had to roll on the ground, which made my head numb and reduced the feeling of the itch. Mother told me to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate this interference and not to acknowledge it. From midnight on, I kept sending forth righteous thoughts. I repeated, "Master, please help me to eliminate all the evils in my way that prevent me from validating the Fa. Mie! (Chinese for cleaned out, eliminated). I only take the path arranged by Master. Falun Dafa is good. Truth-Compassion-Forbearance is good." When I could not stand it anymore I even shouted, "Master, help!" The time seemed to be endlessly long. I kept repeating the righteous thoughts formulas and felt a million soldiers fighting in another dimension. After one and a half hours, all of a sudden, I felt release. All the uncomfortable feelings vanished.
Mother and I knew that it was Master who endured such mountainous karma for me. We could not help crying considering Master's benevolence. I also cried for my own slacking off, which made Master concerned and caused Him to endure so much hardship for me. I told mother, "Now I finally realize what you told me before, that the word "Master" in Chinese translates as Shi Fu; this Fu should be the character in the word Fu Qin ("father" in Chinese), not another Fu (which is used in Shi Fu in common usage)." My heart was full of gratitude. Master did not give up on me, although I was so far behind. I promised that I would do my best to strive diligently forward and be worthy of Master's salvation. Mother also reminded me to remember this lesson, to get rid of my attachments, and not to create any more damage to sentient beings. She said that we should help each other to correct ourselves, encourage and remind each other, to walk well the rest of the path together. We didn't feel sleepy, and talked all night.
The next morning I found that 2/3 of the rash was gone, and there were not even any scars. The rest of the poxes were not itchy, either. The mystery of Dafa's power amazed many people who saw this.
That morning we went to the rehearsal. Afterwards we went to protest the evil "Same Song" show. Because of my circumstances, practitioners suggested I could send forth righteous thoughts in the car. There was a war between evil and good, which was shaking heaven and earth. Because of the evil, the temperature dropped to 25 0F. In spite of the severe weather, all the practitioners, no matter young or old, male or female, still clarified the truth to the Chinese people and sent forth righteous thoughts. The heavens and earth are witnesses to practitioners' compassion. I felt quite uneasy, watching Chinese people going into the theatre to see the evil show and to have their minds polluted by the evil. I also felt bad for my slacking off and being irresponsible. I felt that I would shoulder a bigger responsibility in the future.
On the sixth day, I went to New York to perform in and attend the gala with fellow practitioners. Although I only danced in a group dance, playing a small part in the performance, I still felt very happy that I overcame the tribulation and contributed something to the Fa-rectification.
I saw Master again in New York. Master's benevolent smile was full of immense compassion, which cannot be described in language. I promised Master in my heart that I would do my best to take on a practitioner's responsibility, strive forward diligently, and give Master more reason for happiness and smiles, and less concerns and worries.
