(Clearwisdom.net) I started to cultivate in Dafa in 1998. Under the benevolent guidance of Teacher, I have walked my path right up through today, stumbling over one barrier after another. In cultivation, I sometimes didn't strictly follow the requirements of the Fa. My Fa-study was superficial and I did not always have the Fa in my heart. As a result, I was persecuted and arrested by the police once again in June 2005. I went eleven days on a hunger strike. With Teacher's protection and local practitioners' collective efforts, I was finally released from police custody.
1. Leaving the Custody Center with a Firm Belief in Teacher and Dafa
In June 2005, the police illegally arrested me from my work unit and took me to the local police station. On the way, I clarified the truth of Falun Gong to anyone in sight. During the interrogation, I did not follow the police officers' instructions.
They sent me to the local No. 2 Detention Center. On the way, and in front of the police station, I shouted, "Falun Dafa is good! The police illegally arrest Falun Gong practitioners! The police are committing a crime!" The police in the van opened the door and said, "Okay. Go ahead. Keep on yelling." Later, the head of the police station also said, "Falun Dafa is good." When we arrived at the detention center, the authorities asked me for my name and work unit, which I did not provide.
Inside the detention center, my human notions emerged. I was thinking, "Why me, even though the evil has been greatly eliminated?" Anxious and complaining to myself, I didn't eat the meal provided. Once I calmed down, and upon looking within, I strengthened my righteous thoughts to deny the persecution. So I decided to hold a hunger strike to protest the unlawful detention. At the same time, I had a firm thought that I would be released because of the hunger strike.
On the fourth day of my hunger strike, the guard found out I was not eating. Actually, I had a heart of not wanting to let them know, in case they persecuted me further. They said they would force-feed me if I continued the hunger strike. I then resolved that I would not allow the evil to force-feed me. As a result of my determination and Master's protection, they didn't do it.
On the sixth day, not having completely gotten rid of the fear of being force-fed, the evil took advantage of me. When they tried to force feed me, I refused to cooperate with them. Many guards and inmates were needed to hold me down. However, their effort to force feed me went in vain as the food was spilled for the most part.
On the seventh day, I was dragged by the local police to the No. 1 Detention Center and detained there as a criminal. From the time I got there, I sent forth righteous thoughts, did the Falun Gong exercises and recited the Fa. At night when I did the exercises, the inmate on duty told me to do it on the ground and stay away from the monitor. Otherwise, she said, if the head of the detention center saw it, he would stop me. At first I followed her advice. However, upon further thought, I felt I should do the practice openly and nobly. So I got on the upper bunk bed to do the meditation. At first the inmates tried to stop me. However, after seeing that I persisted, they gave up.
During the course of my detention, I was interrogated three times. I went out of the cell for interrogation twice, but didn't say a word. On the record, they wrote, "She didn't speak a word." The next time, someone from the local government came to do the interrogation. I refused to go out of the cell. The inmates came to carry me out. I struggled fiercely and stayed in. The person had to come in the cell to ask questions. I was still silent, so they just left.
On the ninth day of my hunger strike, the Ministry of Public Security sent people to inspect the detention center. The detention center prepared for several days. The director of the center made all the inmates sit against the wall to recite the regulations. I was sitting in the middle, with my hand raised in front of my chest to send forth righteous thoughts. The director saw me and said angrily, "Stop doing your practice. Otherwise, I will order the inmates to handcuff you to the ground [meaning, lock the hands and feet to objects affixed to the ground]." But as I kept on sending forth righteous thoughts, the guards were less tense. Later the people from the Ministry of Public Security came in. People pointed at me and said, "Here is a Falun Gong practitioner." With nothing said further, they just left.
Through the experience I realized what Teacher said, "When you have righteous thoughts, the evil will collapse." ("What Is There to Fear" from Hong Yin II). Indeed, the evil has no say, Teacher does. At the same time, as disciples, we have to do well.
On the tenth day, the inmates carried me out for force-feeding and an IV injection. I lost consciousness. They sent me to the hospital. I vaguely remembered that on the way to the hospital, I kept calling out, "Falun Dafa is good." When I woke up the next morning, I saw that I was being given an IV injection. I pulled out the needle. They tied my hands up and continued with the injections. But the bandage that tied my hands loosened to where I was able to pull out the needle again and I told the doctors, inmates, and the head of the detention center, and others present why I was not taking any injections. I called out, "Falun Dafa is good."
Because I didn't cooperate with the doctors, they sent me back to the detention center again. I was diagnosed with renal failure. They were afraid that I might die there, so the head of the No. 1 Detention Center came to the Police Department in person, demanding my release. They went through the procedures and set me free unconditionally.
Through the eleven days of struggle between righteousness and evil, I witnessed the power of Dafa and Teacher's benevolent care and strengthening of true practitioners. As Teacher said, "I treasure you more than you treasure yourselves!" ("Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I also came to realize the power of practitioners working together.
2. Working as One Body to Deny the Persecution
On the night when I was arrested, my sister (a non-practitioner) came to see me in the detention center. I used her cell phone to tell the family member of a practitioner that I had been arrested.
When the local practitioners got the news, they sent forth righteous thoughts together to give me strength and negate the persecution. That very night, practitioners wrote articles to expose the evil and posted them on the Internet. At the same time, many practitioners wrote letters to the head of my work unit to clarify the truth.
Practitioners went to see the mother of the local police station chief, asking her to persuade her son not to participate in the evil persecution. They soon printed my story and distributed it to the local people to expose the evil.
When I was sent to the hospital, I asked my family to call practitioners and tell them that I was on a hunger strike. Many practitioners went to the hospital and sent forth righteous thoughts in close proximity to the hospital. Other practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts frequently and intensely.
3. Reflections after the Experience
a) My understanding of Fa-rectification cultivation was too extreme. I took doing Fa-rectification work and clarifying the truth as Fa-rectification cultivation. While focusing on doing the work, I neglected my personal cultivation. I took Fa-study as an assignment and didn't cultivate myself on a firm footing. As a result, my human notions were strong and righteous thoughts weak.
b) I didn't deny the old forces fundamentally. Although I said one must deny the old forces, in my heart they still affected me. Whenever I saw other practitioners being severely persecuted or so-called "transformed" into giving up the practice, I always thought that had it been me, I would hang on till my last breath. I didn't realize that my responsibility was to assist Teacher in saving sentient beings, rather than bear persecution from the evil. Whenever I failed a test or was not steadfast in my state of mind, I would think about whether the evil would take advantage of me, rather than that I have Teacher and Dafa with me, and that the evil does not deserve to put its control over me by testing a particle of the Fa.
c) I did not possess a strong main consciousness. I was interfered with by the demon of lust and didn't have strong righteous thoughts. At work my words and behavior when engaged in normal social life with men always surfaced in my mind. Sometimes I could restrain the bad thoughts. Other times I took those thoughts as my own. As a result, I was interfered with by the demon of lust for a long time. I even resorted to not having any contact with men any more, trying to stay away from them, and I felt nervous and panicky upon seeing them. I knew that I was in a bad state and had to be cautious in clarifying the truth. I was afraid that the evil might take advantage of me.
d) I didn't use righteous thoughts when facing interference. When I clarified the truth to my co-workers, I was reported to the head of the work unit four times. They always called my family and told them that if I continued they would have to report it to the higher authorities. Upon hearing that, I had a brief discussion with fellow practitioners and clarified the truth to the head of the work unit. But I had a strong attachment of fear to clarify the truth to other people afterwards. I was afraid that the head of my unit might find out. I didn't study the Fa with a calm mind or send forth righteous thoughts, nor did I try to dig out my attachments.
e) When clarifying the truth, I was looking at the actual number of people being affected. I always wanted to ask fellow practitioners how many people withdrew from the CCP and its related organizations after they clarified the truth. Subconsciously, I always wanted to show off and count how many people withdrew after I clarified the truth to them, as though I was validating myself and not Dafa.
4. Fa-rectification Cultivation is Solemn
Fa-rectification cultivation is solemn and Fa-rectification disciples have to meet the standards without any compromise. I was arrested three times and frequently persecuted. The first two times was due to my attachment to bearing evil persecution as means of cultivation. I thought that being sent to the labor camp meant one could cultivate to a higher level. I thought that being detained in the detention center was participating in the Fa-rectification.
As a Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period, in order to accomplish the mission and responsibilities of the Fa-rectification, we have to take cultivation seriously, study the Fa with a calm mind, cultivate ourselves, and measure ourselves against the Fa's requirements. To deny the overall arrangement of the old forces and to be really secure, we have to study the Fa well and be a real cultivator. Teacher says,
"If you are a true practitioner, our Falun will safeguard you. I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe." (Zhuan Falun)
Please kindly point out any mistakes.
Heshi.
