(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. After July 20, 1999, I stopped practicing for three years because I didn't study the Fa well and my enlightenment quality was poor. I was grateful to Teacher for compassionately saving me. Teacher didn't abandon me. I began practicing once again in 2003. I didn't read Teacher's article "Towards Consummation," published on June 16, 2000, until August 2005. Then I knew how far I had fallen behind. Teacher said in "Towards Consummation,"
"After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven't gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa."
That was my state at that time. I thought I practiced very well, but Teacher's words woke me up and I realized the seriousness of eliminating fundamental attachments.
I looked inward for a long time, and still failed to discover my fundamental attachment. I read a lot of sharing articles about discovering fundamental attachments. I felt every article pointed out my problem, but I still could not recognize it clearly. Finally, when I read the article entitled, "I discovered my fundamental attachment, the attachment to consummation" from Minghui Weekly (the Chinese edition of Clearwisdom), I came to realize that "my" fundamental attachment was to consummation itself.
I practiced Falun Dafa because my health was poor and I did not want to suffer in this world. After a long period of practice, I felt I didn't have that attachment, but I didn't realize that that attachment was still not removed. Instead, it was only well hidden. It interfered with me, but I was not aware of it and felt good about myself.
For example, I felt good recently because I did the three things well. I thought, "Teacher, see how well your disciple has cultivated. I will for sure succeed." (I even showed off in front of Teacher) When I saw the beautiful image of Buddha or a Bodhisattva on Dafa amulets, I would think that, "They are so beautiful. I will look like this in the future when I succeed. I must be diligent." When I read what Teacher said,
"They think, 'The test of Dafa disciples isn't over yet. Those students who have not yet stepped forward should be doing so continuously, and you have let those who haven't done well, do well.' If we're going to talk about hindering the Fa-rectification's progress in this world, well, these students really are slowing it down." (In Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
After reading it, I thought, "But for those practitioners who are not diligent, Fa-rectification would have ended long ago, and I would have reached my goal long ago." Actually, I myself was one of those practitioners to which Teacher referred. How strong was my attachment to consummation.
Teacher said in Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005
"Time is really very tight. You've all seen that the changes in this world, as well as those in the situation of Dafa disciples' validating the Fa, are happening fast. So as time continues to change, will you still have time to do what Dafa disciples should do? Why wouldn't you make the most of your time, then? Dafa disciples look at hardships as good things and as opportunities for improvement, and as the environment improves more and more, the hardship will become ever less. When you no longer need to clarify the truth and people are taking the initiative to come hear the truth from you or seek you out to learn the practice, won't you have lost the opportunity to establish your mighty virtue?"
After reading this, I thought, "Teacher, please wait for a while. I didn't do well in many aspects. If you finish now, I cannot succeed in cultivation." I realized that my attachment to self and to consummation was so strong. My motivation to be diligent was to succeed, myself, in cultivation. I didn't melt into the Fa. And I didn't do what the Fa requested me to do. I didn't base my words, actions and thoughts on the basis of the Fa. I enlightened that practitioners must display the grandeur of Falun Dafa in this world. People would surely believe Falun Dafa was good if practitioners let their light shine. Instead, we fall short and play a negative role. Especially for the practitioners in the Fa-rectification period, it is not just a problem of practicing well or poorly in society. We must do well because we have the responsibility to validate the Fa. As practitioners during the Fa-rectification period, we must be strict with ourselves and assimilate to "Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance." We should keep in mind our responsibility of saving sentient beings. Consummation is only a matter of when for Fa-rectification period disciples, while our purpose is to save others. If we do not do well, people will think we did not match our words to our actions, and that will hinder saving sentient beings.
When I relinquished my fundamental attachments my mind was clear all at once. Suddenly, I understood why I practice, for whom I came into this world and why we should do the three things well. We should practice diligently because we want to save more sentient beings. This was my grand vow made before history.
