(Clearwisdom.net) Recently I found that, deep in my mind, an unrighteous thought to seek personal benefits from Dafa and utilize Dafa to achieve personal goals was always there. There is a complete difference between cultivating in Dafa and seeing things from Dafa. Seeking benefits from Dafa is selfish, as the purpose is to achieve personal benefits. Cultivation is selfless, and the purpose is to better assist Master in rectifying the Fa and to offer sentient beings salvation.
My foremost mindset during the past years was one of seeking benefits. It permeated my every thought. I read the book, studied the Fa, did the exercises, and cultivated with that mindset. My heart was not pure when cultivating. I sought to enlighten to a higher level, sought to cultivate to a higher level, pursued bigger physical changes, sought consummation, and pursued this and that. I wanted to gain from the Fa. The attachment to seeking personal benefits is a wall that stopped me from righteously understanding the Fa and assimilating into Dafa, and it made me take a detour, sometimes thinking of the Fa in an extreme way, and greatly slowed me down on my cultivation path.
Now I understand that, though on the surface it appeared I was cultivating in Dafa, I was in actuality seeking benefits from Dafa. As a consequence I improved very slowly. Now that I understand this, I feel much different when I read the book and study the Fa.
November 11, 2006
