(Clearwisdom.net) Every true Dafa practitioner has had some extraordinary experiences (although they may look ordinary) on their cultivation path. Master has devoted so much to our cultivation process in every step of our advancement. Although I can't see anything with my celestial eye, I can feel Master's compassion and protection with me all the time. I would like to write down my cultivation experience to show Master's great compassion and benevolence, as well as Dafa's greatness.
1. Obtaining the Fa
I obtained Dafa in 1996. Prior to this, I was a Buddhist. Because I read some Buddhist scriptures, I knew everything in the human world would not last long and only cultivators would be able to be free from reincarnation. I tried my best to cultivate and have always been very strict with myself. Once, in my dream, I saw Guan Yin (Avalokitesvara). And now that I recall it, I also had been in the state of "the Fa cultivates practitioners." Although I was cultivating in Buddhism, Master had already started looking after me.
Before I obtained the Fa, Master gave me hints and directed me several times in my dreams: Once, I saw a Buddha wearing a yellow robe in the Southwestern sky. I wasn't able to see the face clearly (later, I realized it was exactly the same as one of Master's pictures standing and wearing a robe). I once dreamed of being in an empty campus. There was a huge lotus by me. When I awoke, I was thinking Guan Yin is in white, not in yellow. I was puzzled. Another time, in a dream, I was praying by the statue of Guan Yin. When I raised my head, the statue moved to the side. Because I hadn't had any contact with Dafa at that time, I wasn't able to interpret the meanings of those dreams.
On another day, I went to a neighborhood grocery store to buy groceries. I heard the owner teaching her grandson the exercise of "Maitreya Stretching His Back." I listened and thought: Isn't this related to Buddha? So I asked what she was doing. She told me that she was teaching her grandson Qigong and said this Gong was great because it could help improve health. Because I was all for cultivation then, I wasn't interested in improving health. I didn't pay too much attention. I even told her that if she truly believes in and follows Buddha, she wouldn't have to worry about any diseases. Just like that, I missed an opportunity to obtain Dafa.
Several days later, Master's law body arranged for the electricity fee collector to come to my home. After she collected the fee, she didn't want to leave. I was washing clothes then. So she started chatting: "There is a Master who is spreading Dafa. This Fa is the Fa of the universe. When he started spreading the Fa, all of the Buddhas and Guan Yin went back and they no longer save people any more. If you want to know what's going on, you'd better borrow a book to read." I was so worried after I heard that. I thought if nobody is saving people any more, all my cultivation efforts would be wasted. I finished washing the clothes quickly and borrowed Zhuan Falun.
When I finished the book without stopping, I understood many questions I wasn't able to find answers for in the Buddhist scriptures. For example, what is the Buddha Fa? It was very hard to explain it clearly before, but Master simply used three words to cover it all. I know the cultivation I had done before didn't go beyond "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance." My thought was: This is the righteous Fa. But what I cultivated before was a righteous Fa as well. I wasn't sure if I should switch my discipline. When I burned incenses, I asked Guan Yin to give me some hints. The same night, I had a dream. I was riding on a bike. When I was almost home, the road in front of me was very muddy and I couldn't get through. On the side, there was a brick pathway that connected to my home directly. After I woke up from the dream, I knew that was a hint for me. I should change to an alternative way. So I walked into Dafa cultivation happily.
2. Going After Quick Success, Getting the Opposite Results
In the Fa, it says one can cultivate to Godhood in their current life. I thought this Fa is so good. I wanted to cultivate fast. So everyday, all I was thinking about was how to make this happen faster. As a result, my mind, which was previously clear, was occupied by all kinds of thoughts. I developed a very strong attachment to consummation. I mistakenly thought that was being diligent. Gradually I found that my state was not right. My previously clear, open and clean mind became confused and numb. Master gave me hints of the danger of this state. I then realized the severity of my problem. I started looking for where the problem started. I was surprised to see that I was not cultivating; I was pursuing something. Pursuing consummation was my true attachment. I realized that and tried my best to rectify my incorrect state. Gradually I was able to correct it.
3. All Manner of Hardships Dropping on Me at Once
A month after the persecution started on July 20, 1999, my only 6-year-old son passed away in a medical accident. My life had been very happy and full of meaning because of this child. His sudden death affected me greatly. Although I understood it from the Fa standpoint, I couldn't stand the suffering of losing my love. If it were not for the fact I had learned Dafa, I would have collapsed. Why did I experience such huge karma? It must have been related to my cultivation. This didn't impact my firm belief in Dafa. It made me see even clearer how unstable human life is. It strengthened my determination in cultivation. So three days after my son passed away, I resumed studying the Fa and practicing. Later Master gave me hints that, with this karma, I was able to break through several layers of heavens.
In August of 2000, after Master's lecture on "Rationality" was published, I knew I should set out to save sentient beings. So I made copies of truth clarification materials and went to a nearby park to distribute them. At that time, I gave them out in person. Later, I was reported and was sent to the police station. They asked me for the source of the materials and said if I didn't tell them, they would torture me. I thought, even if I die, I wouldn't involve others. It turned out they didn't torture me and they let me go after twenty-four days.
After the persecution started in 1999, I mistakenly thought it was a test Master arranged for practitioners. So I only continued to practice and didn't go to Beijing to validate Dafa. Later, through studying the Fa, I realized that the persecution was not arranged by Master, that it was the old forces' intentions. I thought I should go to Beijing. At that time, my mother-in-law was paralyzed and needed care. My husband had to rely on sleeping pills every day due to the loss of our son. Whether I should go or not go, I became a little hesitant. Right then, I thought of what Master says about true compassion and thought of how Sakyamuni broke through resistance and difficulties to go on the cultivation path and eventually came to consummation and saving sentient beings. So I went to Beijing with determination. At Tiananmen Square, I was arrested and sent to Daxing County Detention Center. After twenty days of hunger striking, they released me without any conditions.
When I returned home, my husband couldn't stand the pressure and filed for divorce. I didn't blame him. From his standpoint, I understood how hard it was for a non-practitioner to endure these things. In order to alleviate his pressure, I didn't ask for anything from the house. I just took one thousand yuan that my husband gave me, and my own clothes and left home. I didn't have a job, or a place to live. So I rented a place in the suburbs using my one thousand yuan. It was still very cold in February in Northeastern China. The room I was renting was not heated. The only thing I had was an electric heat pad. At night, I just kept all my clothes on to sleep. During the day, I wore outside what I had on inside the room. The water in the room became ice, and there was frost on the wall. The food became cold before I was done with the meal. My mother came to visit me once. She cried right after she came into the room. She asked me to go back home with her. I didn't want to. She cried and left. I never shed any tears in front of anybody else during those days. But when I was alone, I couldn't hold my tears back any more.
I felt the difficulties and challenges of cultivation. In fact, I didn't mind the material hardship. It was the mental hardships that were so hard to endure. In this world, I had two people that I loved and they both left me. As a woman, this is probably the most unfortunate thing. During those days, when I was walking on the street, I felt lost. Everything seemed so distant to me. I didn't have anything. I truly understood why people would choose to commit suicide when they suffered to their limit. Every time, I would think of what Master said:
"When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible." (Zhuan Falun, the translation version of 2000)
Master also used other people's mouths to encourage me.
Because I didn't have any income, I needed to find a job. But my identification card was still at the police station. I went to the street to look for posters and ads. I finally found a job that didn't require an ID card. But the job was just to finish a temporary task. So I had to go back to the street to search for jobs. I found a job washing clothes in a bathing place. It paid over four hundred yuan per month. After three months on this job, somebody I knew came to me to offer me a job at his company, with five to six hundred yuan of salary. I finally was able to have a stable income. I also rented a heated apartment in the city with a monthly rent of 220 yuan. I knew that all of these things were arranged by Master. One coworker once told me: "I didn't know you were mentally so tough." I knew my strength came from Dafa and from Master's protection. I wouldn't be able to make it to today if there was no Dafa and Master.
4. Tolerating Difficulties and Cultivating Diligently
When my work and life became relatively stable, I put all my energy into saving the sentient beings. Every day, when I went to work, I took materials with me. After work, I went to distribute them right away. It started from several dozens copies at the beginning, to several hundred copies later. I just used big bags to carry them. I didn't go home until I was done for the day. Sometimes, I had to walk four to five hours. It was often 8:00 p.m., 9:00 p.m. or even later when I got home. At the very beginning, I was a little nervous when distributing materials. But with stronger righteous thoughts, my mind and state became more stable. With the heart to save sentient beings, I seldom encountered any interference. I found that some of the gates with electronic codes were hard to get in. I thought people in those places needed to be saved as well. If I was not able to get in, I just posted the materials at the gate, so people coming in and out would be able to see them. So I bought stickers and used ball-point pens to write about the wonderfulness of Dafa and the truth of the Jiang regime's persecution. At the beginning, there was some interference. Because the surface of the stickers was slippery, the pens didn't work so well on them. But I didn't give up and continued to write from my heart. After doing several copies, a miracle happened. I wrote very smooth and clear as if it were done on regular paper.
The second day, I posted the stickers on the gates. I had a dream that night: It was almost dawn and everybody was sleeping. Somebody (who seemed like Master) was beating a drum. I was beating a gong. Somebody said, you are waking everybody up. I understood that was Master giving me hints to awaken sentient beings. Later I felt this method was limited. People couldn't know the details of the truth. I should get the materials in. So I thought of a way to ask people inside to open the door for me. Because I was usually doing it after work I pressed the doorbell and said: "My family is not home yet, can you please help open the door for me?" I was successful almost all the time. This way I was able to deliver the materials into these locked gates and high-rise residential buildings.
Clarifying the truth is not limited to one form. Other than giving people materials, I often did it face to face. Sometimes, I hung big posters and mailed letters as well. I wanted to create more opportunities for people to be saved. If they couldn't get the truth through this channel, they would get it via another one. Once, when I went to a village to distribute materials, it was daytime. I delivered them house to house. If there were people around, I handed them over in person. Somebody told me: "You are crazy. You dare to do this during the day? Not too long afterward, a man on a motorcycle followed me and asked me to talk to him. I didn't know who he was. I thought: Even if you are a bad guy, I will correct you today. I didn't get onto his motorcycle. I stood by the roadside and started clarifying the truth to him. Later we found a place and sat down to continue to talk. He said: "It's like this? I didn't know that!" So he asked for some materials to take with him to read carefully and he used his motorcycle to take me off to the station.
Because I was so busy working on saving the sentient beings, I was able to gradually let go of my qing for my son and husband. People asked me if I felt lonely or not. I said I don't have time to feel loneliness. Every day, after I'm done with everything, all I want to do is to sleep. Sometimes, when I think about when the Fa-rectification ends, I don't need to do anything any more. I will only want to have several days of good sleep.
I was very frugal. With the five to six hundred yuan of salary, other than the rent, bus fee (I had to take a bus to work) and food, I used most of the rest on making materials. My expenses on food were minimal too. Because whenever I thought of fellow practitioners who were being persecuted in prisons, I couldn't eat anything nice. So, I usually spent one yuan for each meal. Sometimes, rice and some preserved vegetables was a meal. Sometimes only two buns made a meal. But I didn't feel like I was suffering. I felt great.
5. Trapped in Prison for the Third Time
One fellow practitioner's mother-in-law lived in a very far away countryside village. Nobody could get any truth clarification materials there. I went there with her. She invited me to go with her again. I thought we should be responsible for the sentient beings everywhere. Plus there was a lack of materials there. People needed us to save them. We prepared two boxes of materials and distributed them in two villages. Because we were unfamiliar with the environment and we didn't want to get lost during the night, we did it during the day. The second day, we went to another two villages. Everything was very smooth. We started being careless. When we reached the third village, my pager rang twice for no reason. I took it out and didn't understand what it meant. In fact, that was Master trying to give us hints of the danger. We weren't able to distribute material to many houses before a police car started following us. Four to five police officers pushed us into the car and took us to the police station. They beat us brutally. My face was misshapen, but I didn't feel much pain. I knew Master endured it for me. Every time I didn't do very well, I felt bad. I knew Master had to take on more of my karma.
We were both sent to the detention center where we went on a hunger strike. Several days later, they notified our local police. Two police officers came to take us back to the local police station. But when they saw we were beaten badly, they were afraid of taking responsibility for us. So they said they would come back in two days. But they never came back. In between this time, we were taken to a hospital and forced to have injections. Then they were planning to send us to a forced labor camp. I was very sad while I was in the detention center. I thought there were so many sentient beings waiting for me to save outside. But I was stuck in there and couldn't do what I was supposed to do. I decided to continue the hunger strike until the end. During those days, the detention center constantly received phone calls from fellow practitioners in China or overseas. This inspired us to send forth righteous thoughts as well. Twenty days later, the detention center authorities released us for medical treatment.
6. Looking for a Job Again
At the end of 2003, my work shift moved from normal to a lot of extra overtime until midnight. It impacted my schedule of distributing the truth clarification materials. It also impacted my time to study the Fa and practice the exercises. I sent forth righteous thoughts to change this state, but I didn't see an obvious effect. I know the Fa-rectification advances rapidly. I didn't want to waste a single day. So I quit the job and decided to find a less stressful job. Not too long afterward, I was able to find a job as a cleaning lady for a residential building. I just needed to work seven hours every day. The first several days I started working there, I was responsible for eight sections. Every day, I had to carry all the trash down from the building and clean the floor. This kind of work is often viewed as dirty and heavy-duty. Somebody commented: "You are so young. Why do you do work like this? Why not find a job that pays more?" I knew my intention was not money. My job and everything was for serving the Fa-rectification.
There was a problem at the time. There wasn't a good place to keep the materials I brought in. If I went home to get them after work, it would take too long. Several days later, my supervisor transferred me to a high-rise building and I was only responsible for one section. Plus there were elevators. My workload was reduced a lot. In the meantime, I could use one of the units that weren't sold as my room to rest. This way, I was able to take the materials with me to work. After I'm done with work every day, I can read books, correct words and send forth righteous thoughts in the room. Everything worked out nicely. Everybody else thought I had some kind of special relationship to get this kind of deal. Only I understood that it was Master who had been helping.
7. Letting Go of Attachments, Ending up Not Losing Anything
When I first started working in this new company, a technician was hospitalized. Our supervisor called us together and suggested everybody donate five yuan for him because his family was not in good shape financially. Our supervisor also considered that we didn't make that much either so she didn't suggest too much. I only had ten yuan with me at the time. I donated it all. I only made sixty to seventy yuan per month at that time. But I was thinking I could always manage my living expenses. In the meantime, I also wanted to give my coworkers a good impression of me so it would make it easier to spread the Fa to them in the future. Surprisingly, not too long after, they returned the money because they were able to get some money out of selling recyclables. I truly understand that when you let go of the attachment, whatever is yours will still be yours.
8. Master's Protection Turns Danger into Safety
In the past several years, due to the persecution, fellow practitioners around me were often arrested. But every time, with Master's protection, I was able to avoid many dangerous situations.
The first time was when there were two practitioners who had to leave their home due to the persecution. They were arrested. They were renting the same place then. In several days, I was supposed to get something from their place. One morning, I went downstairs to buy breakfast. I usually didn't go downstairs very often in the morning. I usually go out at work time. When I walked to the gate of the hallway, I saw a note on the gate. I took a quick peek unintentionally. It said somebody was hospitalized (meaning they were arrested). I realized immediately it was for me. I took it off right away. One of the fellow practitioners knew I lived in this building. But they didn't know which unit. So they just wrote a note and put it on the front gate. Otherwise, if I were to go there in two days, I would be arrested.
The second time was when one of the fellow practitioners who I was in close contact with got arrested. The place where I lived was a place she rented. When she was arrested, the leasing contract was in her place. I was worried that when the police searched her place, that they would find the contract and end up finding the place I lived as well. So I decided to move. I called two rental places, but I wasn't able to reach anybody. I thought maybe Master didn't want me to move. Then I just continued to live there. Later, another practitioner who was released asked me: "The police didn't go to your place to search?" Because when she was in there, she heard police mention my name and address. They were looking for me. I said no. I lived in that place until the term was up.
Later, a fellow practitioner arranged for me, and another female practitioner, to live in her newly rented house to make copies of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. Later, this practitioner was arrested. She asked people to pass a message to us and said the house's term was up and it was time to move. Because she rented another house, we didn't know which house she was referring to. Plus we just submitted a deposit of eight thousand yuan. Several practitioners all asked us to use righteous thoughts and righteous actions to negate the interference. I didn't insist on it. More than ten days later, on a Saturday morning, I was reading at home. All of a sudden, I thought about the decorated amulets made by fellow practitioners, which were very pretty. So I couldn't read any more and decided to buy some decorations. So I went to the market. Around 1:00 p.m., a fellow practitioner called and told me that somebody had opened the lock of our room and there was a smoking smell in the room. She asked me not to go back. I was very surprised: "I only came out two hours ago. Everything was fine when I left." I suddenly realized why I had the urge to buy the decorations. I knew Master was protecting me. Master made me leave there. Several days later, when I went back, the lock was changed already.
I have had some amazing experiences. There have also been some areas that were not very satisfying in my cultivation. I know Master protected me every single step in my cultivation. I am so lucky to have become Master's Dafa disciple. I'm so fortunate to be saved by Master himself. I want to tell all practitioners who haven't stepped out: Master created this righteous Fa cultivation opportunity that one can only have once in thousands of years. We have to cherish this opportunity. We should never leave Dafa due to temporary suffering or enjoyment. No matter whether you can feel it or not, Master always protects us and is waiting for us. Master is looking forward to our maturity. Master is looking forward to our return!
