(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa at the beginning of 1999. Because I walked into Dafa with my attachments, I once took a detour. Our benevolent Teacher did not give up on me. With the help of other practitioners, I returned to the correct path, but because I did not understand the Fa from the Fa's perspective, I did not let go of my worst attachments. Although I made efforts to do the three things and I did make some changes, I did not fully rectify myself. I still had irritable emotions and a mind full of complaint.
Recently, when I shared my experiences with a fellow practitioner, Teacher gave me a hint through him. I finally became clear and realized that "truly cultivating" is also a very important step.
Under the influence of modern people's opinions, I formed all kinds of attachments. For example, I would envy others when they had good luck; I would show off when I experienced good things; I do not allow others to say "no" when I worked, whether the result was wrong or not and even when I am wrong; and I would immediately ignore someone and feel unfairly treated when meeting someone with different thoughts and approaches.
It seemed that I had all the attachments Teacher mentioned in teaching the Fa. Therefore, driven by those attachments, I was afraid all day long and nervous when I contacted someone. I did not dare to say true words and was afraid of doing things incorrectly. So my health suffered. Especially when I was doing the three things to validate the Fa, those attachments really had a damaging effect, which made me unable to concentrate. I always felt my abilities fell short of my wishes. The pressure was so intense that I was almost out of breath.
Why did those things happen to me? I made efforts to study the Fa more and tried to improve. Measuring myself by Teacher's Fa, I really found many attachments and acquired notions. Initially I thought I would be relaxed after I found my attachments. However, there was no big change. One day, when I shared my experience with a fellow practitioner, the practitioner directly pointed out the problem, which was that I only knew the Fa principles and knew I should search inside, but I did not "solidly cultivate."
At the beginning, I was not open to this opinion. And I even felt a bit aggrieved. Later, through studying the Fa, I realized that the fellow practitioner's opinion was right. Teacher wrote in "Solid Cultivation" in Hong Yin
Study Fa, obtain Fa
Compare in studying, compare in cultivating,
Examine each and every deed,
Accomplishing is cultivating.
If a practitioner discovers attachments through studying the Fa but does not solidly cultivate, how can he get rid of them? How can he improve himself? Teacher said that whatever happens to us are good things. So, as Dafa practitioners, we should do better, shouldn't we? As I write this, I hope it will be useful for those practitioners who are in a similar situation. We can improve together.
October 11, 2006
