(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher said:
"The lofty conduct that Dafa disciples have established in this environment--including every word and every deed--can make people recognize their own weaknesses and identify their shortcomings; it can move their hearts, refine their conduct, and enable them to make progress more rapidly. Therefore, new students or self-taught disciples have to go to the practice sites to do the exercises." (Environment)
As I read Teacher's words, I realized that he was actually talking directly to me.
Being a Dafa practitioner who obtained the Fa in 1996, I always felt that I had cultivated myself quite well. Also, in the beginning, the cultivation environment was very good. As such, I never had a good understanding of the concept of being tested on our steadfastness even all the way at the end.
In 2003, I became lax in my cultivation, so the evil found a loophole in me. I experienced the symptoms of acute appendicitis with fever and stomach pain. I kept thinking that I was eliminating karma, so I accepted and endured it passively. However, not only did the symptoms persist, but my legs also started aching and became swollen. Only then did I go and talk with fellow practitioners. Together we studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts. Fellow practitioners also advised me to read more articles on Clearwisdom.net. I realized that for the practitioners who started cultivating before July 20, 1999, Teacher had already pushed us up to certain levels and had not arranged sickness tribulations after that. I came to see my own shortcomings: of the three things Teacher asked us practitioners to do, I have not done any of them well. I was especially lax on sending forth righteous thoughts. After studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, and exchanging experiences with fellow practitioners, my righteous thoughts became stronger. I denied all the arrangements made by the old forces. We realized the importance of the cultivation environment, and thus formed a Fa study group.
When I first began attending the Fa study group, bad thoughts again came into my mind. I was afraid that my husband would openly criticize me. When I realized the bad thoughts were not mine, I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the bad thoughts. Teacher's words appeared in my mind,
"When disciples have ample righteous thoughts,
Master has the power to turn back the tide." (Hong Yin II)
This is the cultivation format that Teacher has given us. We need to readjust our mindset and maintain righteous thoughts and righteous actions, and then the situations will improve.
Due to the fickleness of my human mindset, whenever I encountered conflicts I always found fault in the other parties. As a result, my relationship with my family was tense for a while. In particular, I became increasingly intolerant of my husband's habits of smoking and drinking and constantly thought about divorcing him. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:
"Some couples almost get divorced because of disputes over qigong practice. Many people have not thought about why this situation takes place. " "...it is not permitted for you to get a divorce because of the practice."
I did not try to understand it from the perspective of the Fa and tried to measure it with everyday people's reasoning. I felt that I was going through a great grievance. During Fa study and group sharing, I talked about the grievances I felt. Fellow practitioners exchanged opinions with me using the Fa as the guiding principal and recited from Teacher's teachings. I came to realize that the space and field around me were not righteous and pure. Only when I became vigilent in studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and diligent in doing the three things that Teacher asked us to do would I really elevate myself. In "Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005" Teacher said:
"If you can do all of the three tasks and do them very well, you will feel yourself improving."
My husband tried to intimidate me into giving up cultivation with his drinking and smoking. After his intimidation ceased to move me, he quit smoking and drank less alcohol. Peace and harmony were restored in my family.
The environment of Fa study and sharing with fellow practitioners also greatly helped me to do the three things well. My attachment to fear was gradually worn away after I did more and more to save people and persuade them to quit the CCP. I will not go into details in this article.
The cultivation environment and the field of benevolence and greatness is very important. I will continue to create and treasure the Fa study and sharing environment and diligently do the three things well.
"If you don't firmly hold to your faith you will gain nothing in this life. No one knows when there will be another chance. It's very hard!" ("Determination" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I will grasp this never-to-recur opportunity, maintain righteous thoughts and righteous actions, and return to my home by following Teacher.
October 15, 2006
