(Clearwisdom.net) I started to practice Dafa at the end of 1997. In the beginning I was very diligent. I studied the Fa, cultivated my xinxing, and performed the exercises every day. My body also underwent great changes. All of my diseases, such as arthritis, tracheitis, anal fistula, and other problems, disappeared one by one after I practiced Falun Dafa. My heart was full of gratitude.
However, after former president Jiang Zemin's regime started persecuting Falun Gong, although I felt very angry that Dafa and Teacher were being unjustly defamed by the regime and the media, and about how the lies had instigated people to be hostile toward Dafa, I dared not speak out for Dafa because of my fear. I ignored Fa-study and only paid attention to the exercises. I became more fearful after my wife's arrest following her trip to Beijing to appeal for Falun Dafa. I thought it was enough for me to have good health. I seldom stepped forward to validate Dafa. I became less and less strict with myself, and gradually I handled myself as an everyday person. I often went to dinner parties, and I gradually started drinking alcohol and using restorative-type health products. Finally, I totally relapsed into being like an everyday person.
Teacher has warned us that cultivation is very serious. If we give up cultivation, our body will be reset to the level of everyday people. I had given up cultivation, so naturally my health became poorer and poorer. I began to feel worse and worse. In the end, my children had to send me to the hospital. I was diagnosed as having stomach cardia cancer which required an immediate operation. During the operation, the doctor discovered that the cancer had already metastasized and was in the terminal stage. My stomach cardia was almost blocked by the tumor. That was why I couldn't swallow. What the doctor could do was only to change the course of my esophagus to maintain my life for the moment. Then the doctor told me to return home and eat whatever I liked. He meant that I wouldn't have much time left, and could only wait to die. The doctor also told my family that I had only three to five months left to live. I spent almost all of my savings for the operation - only to be told that I had only three to five months to live.
In my despair I remembered Dafa again. I knew that I had done wrong in the past few years, and that only Dafa could save me. So after I left the hospital I fought the clock to study the Fa and do the exercises. Fellow practitioners also came to share experiences with me and help me. I tried my best to do the three things. It didn't take a long time before a miracle happened to my body. As a cancer patient who had already been diagnosed at the terminal stage, I regained 30 kg (about 66 lbs.) of weight, and my physical strength came back to the level of a healthy person. I walked with a light pace, and my ruddy face shone with health. Now I've been out of the hospital for over one year. The stomachache which had been torturing me was transformed into black blood and discharged out of my body (I discharged blood three times). When my relatives and friends saw me, they all asked, "How did you get cured?" I said, "No medicine would work on me, except the practice of Falun Gong." They were all very surprised, saying that Falun Gong was really miraculous!
From then on, I have been clarifying the truth about Dafa intensively to my relatives and friends by using my personal story of gaining a second life through Falun Dafa after being diagnosed with advanced cancer. In the face of the facts, five people have asked for copies of Zhuan Falun and other Dafa books, and have become Dafa practitioners. A typical example is my eldest daughter-in-law. Initially she was against Dafa and had tried everything she could to prevent my eldest son from practicing Dafa. She also said some bad things against Dafa. However, after my recovery, she not only no longer opposed Dafa, but even asked to learn Dafa on her own initiative. As soon as she started learning Dafa, the effects showed up very clearly. She used to have very serious angina. After she learned Dafa, whenever she felt ill, she silently recited, "Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness - Compassion - Forbearance is good!" Her symptoms would then greatly reduce. This strengthened her determination to learn Dafa. Now she persists in studying the Fa and doing the exercises every day. Our whole family is extremely happy for her.
Recalling my painful experiences and the detours during my cultivation, I feel too ashamed to show my face. Although I had not done anything to harm Dafa, I had given up Dafa and stopped believing in Dafa. What a bitter lesson this is! I was too attached to everyday people's things, and I only wanted to gain benefits and good health from Dafa without being willing to give for Dafa. I did not act according to Teacher's requirements.
Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,"
"No matter how much I say, you still have to walk the path of cultivation yourselves. To walk this path well and progress to its end--nothing is more extraordinary. I say that because during the journey you will have hardships, tests of every sort, unforeseen ordeals, and you will have unexpected interference from all kinds of attachments and emotion. The interference will come from family, society, good friends, and even fellow cultivators. And along with this there is interference from changes in the state of human society and from human notions that were formed in society. All of those things can drag you back to being like an ordinary person. But if you can break through all of it, you can advance towards godhood."
Through studying this paragraph of Teacher's Fa again and again, I understood a lot. I used to emphasize the importance of conforming to the way of ordinary people, but in reality I had never regarded myself as a true practitioner. I was attached to money and the ordinary people's way of living. I always hoped that I could live a better life and feel secure. In the end, one trip to the hospital devoured my entire life's savings. I almost lost my life as well as all my money. Whenever I recall my previous behaviors, I feel ashamed to face Teacher. It is Falun Dafa that has given me a second life; and it is Teacher's benevolent salvation that enabled me to make it to this day. Today I summoned up my courage to write out my story, hoping that fellow practitioners can learn from my lessons. As Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples, we should put cultivation, validation of Dafa and saving the world's people as the first priority. We should validate Dafa through our actions. Don't make the same mistakes as I have made before: only wishing to gain from Dafa, without wanting to give for Dafa, and not even letting go of everyday people's way of living. I am determined to walk my future path well according to Teacher's guidance and to be more diligent until the end. Please kindly point out any problems I might have in my understanding.
December 22, 2005
