(Clearwisdom.net) I began to study Falun Dafa in 1998. It has been seven years now. Practicing Falun Dafa, I became healthier, my family relationships became more harmonious, and I got along with my colleagues better. I was promoted at my workplace in 2001, and later my salary was increased a level. I have gained many benefits in the workplace, even though I didn't seek them, because I practice Falun Gong. I have learned "Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance," and have achieved many things that I could not do before. My changes have brought me unexpected gains. Although I did not wish to pursue these things, I actually gained them through Dafa practice. In addition, before I practiced Dafa, I was always pessimistic. I felt that human beings suffered birth and death, were very pitiful, and had no pleasure. After I studied Dafa, I realized the true meaning of being human, and my life regained hope and pleasure. I felt that true happiness is to be a good person who follows "Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance."
At the end of September 2001, I was illegally arrested for distributing truth-clarification materials. I had begun memorizing Zhuan Falun, but because of my lack of diligence, I had not yet gotten through it for the first time. I had only memorized about 200 pages. Then I lost my freedom and a good environment to study the Fa. I felt sad and nervous. The next day, I found another detained practitioner who had many of Teacher's articles with her. She asked me to test her on the articles she had memorized. I was very surprised, and also very moved. I then committed myself to taking the time to memorize Teacher's articles.
We studied the Fa and practiced the exercises together every day. I spent two days memorizing Teacher's article, "A Suggestion," and then memorized Hong Yin. In the beginning, the fellow practitioner recited one poem and I recited the next. Sometimes I could not remember the words, and repeated the poem several times. The fellow practitioner would never tire of patiently teaching me. Afterwards, I wrote them on cardboard and memorized them daily. We also taught the non-practitioner inmates to read the Fa and memorize the poems. I made great efforts to memorize the Fa. Over a twenty-something day period, I memorized "Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts ," "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful," "Dafa is Indestructible," "Suffocate the Evil," "The Disciples' Magnificence," "What Are Supernormal Abilities," "Beyond the Limits of Forbearance," "No Politics," "To All Students at the Nordic Fa Conference," "Also in a Few Words" and some articles from Essentials For Further Advancement. The Fa that I memorized during that period of time provided me with guidance through many hardships and tribulations later on, and made me able to distinguish clearly my direction, and strengthen my righteous thoughts.
Nearly a month later, I was arrested and taken to Heizuizi Forced Labor Camp. The prison doctor in Heizuizi barbarically force-fed me, which caused my nasal cavity to swell. The lawless personnel tied me up for eight entire days and nights, did not allow me to use the toilet, and ordered others to bring a pot to hold my discharge. Later my wrists became black and blue.
For a period of time, I was locked up in the cell alone and endlessly brainwashed. I was threatened, snapped at and insulted, I encountered endless group onlsaughts of brainwashing, experienced loneliness, pain and physcial and mental torture, causing extreme mental pressure. So I started to recite Teacher's articles and poems. When I did, my innermost pain all vanished into thin air. Just like Teacher said in "Drive Out Interference":
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts."
I continuously recited the Fa. Dafa gave me courage, steadfastness and strength. Later I was sent back to the prison group. I studied Teacher's new articles with fellow practitioners, and we taught each other the Fa that we had memorized. Although the forced labor camp staff did not allow us to talk, we still exchanged views, studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts together. Because I had no way to read Zhuan Falun, I sometimes dreamed about reciting Zhuan Falun. I thirsted for the book and regretted not memorizing it in the first place.
Once I was called to the guard's office. I felt the atmosphere full of evil persecution and terror rushing towards me. At that time, I did not know what would happen, so I kept sending forth righteous thoughts. I thought it seemed that I had never earnestly sent forth righteous thoughts before, never experienced the feeling of completely concentrating to send forth righteous thoughts. Therefore, I began to think of nothing else, and just concentrated on sending strong righteous thoughts. The surrounding atmosphere suddenly changed, and the attitude of the guard was not so vicious. It was as if there was nothing to talk to me about, and he let me go back. Before the horrific feeling seemed to fade away, the whole episode had already passed. I thought that if one could be righteous at all times, and strongly centralize one's power to send forth righteous thoughts at all times, then the effect would by all means be powerful.
After I got out of the labor camp, I calmly looked for my attachments and loopholes from the persecution I had suffered, and found that I always had a show-off mentality and an attachment to validating myself. I did not pay attention to security, and was attached to whether I could reach Consummation, and whether I could endure the tests. As a result, the evil took advantage and aggravated the persecution. After I found my shortcomings, I began to act more wisely, and considered others more. I also took time to make up for the Fa study I had fallen behind on; I kept memorizing the Fa and studied the Fa more.
Having lost my previous job, I sold clothes in a marketplace between April 2003 and June 2004. When I saw Teacher's new published articles and fellow practitioners' experience sharing in cultivation and validating the Fa, I was so excited. I began to make an effort to break through fear, and tried to clarify the truth face to face. I clarified the truth to people in the market.
I also had very strong attachment of dependence. I always liked to have company while doing things. I knew few practitioners, and always hoped that a practitioner who cultivated well would appear and help me. I wanted us to improve and share together, or have the other teach me something that I had never done before, or exchange insights and try more or better ways to clarify the truth. But I never met such a practitioner. Recently, the practitioner who has been distributing truth-clarification materials with me stopped doing so. I realized that my attachment of relying on others was too strong. Maybe this was to get rid of my attachment. Moreover, my unwillingness to distribute materials alone was also a notion. Previously, when I distributed materials, I was especially brave and did not pay enough attention to security. As a result, the evil took advantage of me and I was persecuted. After I was released, a fellow practitioner pointed out my attachment to me, and I also realized it from studying the Fa and exchanging views with others. I began to be cautious. But in the beginning I could not handle it well, and became too cautious. Moreover, the attachment of relying on others was very strong. I always wanted to find a partner when handing out materials, as if I did not dare to distribute truth clarification materials without a partner. Now I had nobody to rely on, so I had to do it alone. But when I truly wanted to do so alone, it was not as difficult as I thought. In fact, I felt relaxed and delighted, because I had abandoned an attachment and improved; therefore I was very happy.
Now I am memorizing Zhuan Falun for the fourth time, I already can proficiently recite the first three lectures. Now I am memorizing one lecture each time in succession, and then I recite every lecture all the way through four or five times, until I completely solidify the memorization. I think after this round, I will be able to proficiently recite the whole book. I feel very happy to be able to memorize this book, as this has been my wish all along.
In these past years, I have fallen short in many aspects. In the future, I will make more effort to do the three things, not disappoint Teacher's merciful salvation, and not disappoint the expectations of sentient beings.
My level is limited, so please correct me if there are any mistakes.
