(Clearwisdom.net)
Something happened recently that made me realize that the people we know might often do something wrong, but it doesn't mean they don't have righteous thoughts. We are their hope. They will therefore judge us based on what we tell them. Cultivators don't have role models; however, we are role models for everyday people.
A couple of days ago, when I chatted with one of my coworkers, she complained about someone. I told her that we shouldn't talk about people behind their backs. Then she told me something that she had wanted to say to me for a long time. What she said shocked me greatly.
She said, "What you say all makes sense. When I first got to know you, I thought you were a very nice person and that Falun Dafa practitioners were very sacred. However, when I got to know you better, I found that your actions didn't always accord with what you said. Sometimes you were very rude, even worse than an everyday person." Then she gave me some examples. They were all about how I had handled things at work, what I said, and how I said it. Although she exaggerated a little, it shocked me and made me think about myself. I had brought shame to the Fa and I felt very guilty. I immediately apologized to her.
I thought I had always put others before myself and that I didn't think about myself too much. When people were not nice to me, I laughed it off, and I felt I wasn't fighting for material gain, so I didn't think I had any essential attachments. Now I know what my coworkers think of me, I am very surprised.
I realized that things at work often caused conflicts between my coworkers and me. I was nice to new employees, but I wasn't strict with myself when working with people that I had become familiar with. When a coworker made a mistake or didn't pay attention to what they were doing, especially when their approaches didn't match mine, I felt frustrated and anxious. While it might have appeared that I was pointing out their mistakes for their own good, I wasn't nice about it and I wanted to blame them for their mistakes.
I have a strong work ethic and I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, so I'm generally nice and kind and my coworkers like to ask me for help. Gradually, however, I developed a deeply hidden attachment that I was superior to others. I thought I was more experienced and I thought I was always right. Because I am an expert in many areas at work, few coworkers dared to complain about me. When I did get some feedback from them, I brushed their comments away. I didn't realize that I wasn't being compassionate.
Putting it plainly, I haven't reached the standard of a Falun Dafa practitioner. Put more seriously, I have brought shame to the Fa. What if my coworkers misunderstand the Fa because of me! Isn't that the same as my hurting people instead of saving sentient beings? I felt very guilty. Actually, I wasn't nice to my family members, either. When their words or actions didn't match mine, I despised them. Was I cultivating myself? Why was I unable to be rational when I was with friends and family?
When I calmed down to look inside, I realized that I hadn't been studying the Fa enough, using the excuse that I was busy. Without enough Fa study, I was unable to think or behave based on the Fa, and I was taken advantage of by qing. We need to study the Fa more and pay more attention to our words and actions.
I studied all of Teacher's lectures published after 2000 and came to understand the Fa principles more clearly. I realized that Teacher is rectifying the Fa of the cosmos for the purpose of saving all sentient beings in the firmament. Therefore, Dafa practitioners should walk down the magnificent path arranged by Teacher to save sentient beings and validate the Fa while cultivating ourselves so we can reach the righteous enlightenment of selflessness. Only by doing this can we save the world's people when validating the Fa, and only by doing this are we thinking about the eternity of the cosmos.
