(Clearwisdom.net)
Gradually let go of human notions while working with fellow practitioners
The biggest achievement for me this year is that I have gradually let go of many human notions while working with fellow practitioners. As I always had a plainspoken and straightforward personality since I was a child, I found it hard to get along with others and I always tried to do only what I wanted to do. I could not take criticism very well. With such a temperament, I had an instinctive tendency to avoid any group activities. Nevertheless, I still got worried from time to time about things such as: What am I going to do when I have to deal with the unavoidable relationship with a mother-in-law? In order to avoid such problems, I even bought my own house before I got married. I did all this simply because I did not want to change myself.
However, once you take the path of cultivation, you have to let go of all attachments and you cannot hide any of them. Some time ago, out of necessity, I had to work with a fellow practitioner in China. This made me feel really uneasy. I thought that although we cultivate in the same Fa, due to cultural differences, we were bound to have conflicts on many issues as we would have difficulties understanding each other. As I expected, we started to have big conflicts not long after [we started]. Upon reflection, I thought that I was not that impolite, but why had the fellow practitioner reacted that way? Before I started to cultivate, whenever I came across something that upset me, I always thought, "I can always change my job if it becomes too much for me." But this was Dafa work, and I could not simply go away when there were conflicts. So I told myself to endure. The first day, I found someone to vent my grievances to. On the second day I still wanted to find someone to pour out my feelings to. But when it came to the third day, I calmed down and started to think: What is it that I need to enlighten to in this matter?
When I willingly looked inward, the answer appeared by itself: I suddenly realized that before cultivation, I was trying to live a life where I would not be looked down upon. I took the entrance exam to go to university after high school because I wanted to be respected and taken seriously; I took a work-study program because I did not want to depend on my family; and all this was praised as my "having a desire to do better", which in fact contained many human notions. Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Fa Conference",
"..., you just have to listen to those displeasing words, and you have to be able to listen to those displeasing words. (Applause) Otherwise, when you haven't even resolved this most basic cultivation issue, how could you call yourself a Dafa disciple?"
After all, it was still a matter of improving my Xinxing. I thought that I should not try to avoid it this time and decided to face up to it. After I untied this knot in my heart, not long afterwards, the practitioner with whom I had conflicts also changed. She said to me, "I have listened to the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party several times lately, and I found that I had indeed been influenced by the CCP Party culture. In fact what you said to me earlier was all true, but at that time I could not help myself and took it the wrong way." Master's arrangements allowed both me and the fellow practitioner to find our attachments which were not easy to detect.
Now I would like to share some experiences in doing another Dafa project. Last year, a fellow practitioner asked me to attend a team meeting. It was only at this time that I realized that I had already been included in the team. I did not know any of the other team members well and had only communicated with them on the Internet or through online conferences. I did not want to be bound to any specific work and did not like to participate in team work. I was indecisive about whether I should stay or quit, and I decided to share this concern with fellow practitioners. The fellow practitioners made allowances for my personality and suggested that I maintain my status quo.
I remember that on one occasion fellow practitioners in the team suggested that I change a certain part of the project. I did not want to make any changes. They asked me again and explained to me the benefits of the suggested changes, but I still did not change my mind. For the entire day I felt uneasy. In the evening I asked my husband, "Am I really that stubborn?" He replied, "Yes, this is clearly an attachment." I argued, "But I'm only doing what my heart tells me to do!" The next morning, I received a letter from a practitioner in my team. In it, she said that she found that there were some problems that she had failed to notice. After reading the letter, I was willing to make the suggested changes. If I had accepted fellow practitioners' advice earlier, I would have been able to detect the problems in time and other practitioners would have suffered fewer losses. This experience helped me learn to consider others more and let go of my own attachments if it was beneficial to others.
On another occasion, I made a suggestion to the team but not everybody agreed with it. We decided to have another meeting the next day. I thought to myself that I had said all that I wanted to say the day before and my microphone was not working either, so I used this as an excuse and told fellow practitioners that I would not attend the conference in the evening. However, in the afternoon, the more I thought about it the more I felt that I was being unfair to fellow practitioners. They arranged the conference because of my suggestion, and yet I did not want to participate. I felt very guilty, so I went to town and bought a new microphone. I thought that I would keep thinking about whether I would join the conference. In the evening, I could not help myself and went online to see how the conference was going. Everyone was very happy to see me online. I explained my suggestion from a different angle and found that this time they all understood what I wanted to do and they all felt that it was a good idea. They immediately looked within themselves and said that they did not pay much attention to what I was saying the day before and that was why they could not understand what I meant at that time. I said to them, "Perhaps I have made some breakthrough today and that is why I could explain my suggestion in a way that you could understand!" This way, we realised that only by us improving as one body could we better save sentient beings.
During the last six months, I have seen the responsible attitude of fellow practitioners towards sentient beings; I have seen fellow practitioners' hearts which are big enough to tolerate each other and complement each other on their own initiative. I have also seen fellow practitioners' solid cultivation that has enabled them to deeply look within themselves. I have also moved forward in the field created with fellow practitioners' righteous thoughts and righteous actions. Thank you Master, for making this arrangement that has given me the opportunity to join other practitioners and let go of my attachments.
Every cultivator needs to walk his/her own path and there is no example to follow
One other deep understanding that I have come to is that every cultivator needs to walk his/her own path. There are no role models to follow. This is truly so, because Dafa disciples play various roles among everyday people and they also validate the Fa in the role that they play. For example, I'm a housewife, so I need to enlighten to how to educate my children with the Fa principles and how to communicate with teachers and other parents who do not practice cultivation.
Take educating children for example. There is much to do in this aspect that one needs to find out. When coming up against tests, perhaps only fellow practitioners can understand the inner struggles that one experiences. A fellow practitioner has a child who is the same age as my child, so they have been playing with each other all along. Whenever they have an argument, I would blame my child first. However, after a few such incidents I felt that it was not right, and I started to observe what was going on. To my surprise I found that when that child complained to his mother, some of the things that he said had never happened. This made me feel agitated. At the same time, I also blamed myself for not being able to keep calm. I wanted to discuss this with that fellow practitioner, but found it hard to bring the matter up. Later the children had more and more conflicts, and in the end I decided to let them see each other less and less as a way to avoid this issue.
Later that practitioner told me that her child had been diagnosed as being "hyperactive", and I realized that her child's emotional behavior was not deliberate. I asked my son, "Do you feel angry when he talks like that?" "No, I don't" my son replied. I asked him again, "Why don't you feel angry?" "Why should I be angry?" he asked. From my son's innocence, I saw my own gaps: I'm a cultivator. Why is it that I'm able to tolerate the other child only after I have been told that he has been diagnosed with having "hyperactive" symptoms? Why was I not able to put myself in other people's position and be considerate towards others? That fellow practitioner had suffered much hardship in looking after a hyperactive child, and yet I did not extend a helping hand. Instead I only looked on and complained that she spoiled her child too much.
No matter how close practitioners are to one another, we must share our understandings of issues based on the Fa, and the education of young people is no exception. Now I look at these children from a new perspective and have a very different feeling. I believe that as long as we keep up our Xinxing and diligently improve ourselves on the Fa, the children will rectify all that is not righteous in themselves.
Unconditionally look within ourselves
The most important understanding I have come to is that we must unconditionally look within ourselves. If we are confused by the reasoning at this human level, then whenever we feel that we are in the right, we will use human reasoning to protect ourselves. If we cannot calm down and truly look within, then we cannot find anything. Therefore, no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, we should not lower the requirements for us created by the principles of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance."
Whenever I made some improvement and looked back, I found truthfulness. I felt very proud of this, but later realized I lacked compassion and forbearance. Sometimes I hurt other people and was not even aware of it. We can cultivate to a very high level, but it all depends on how we cultivate ourselves.
Whenever I come across conflicts, I try to remember Master's words in "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore":
"If you can examine yourselves with every thing you come across, then I'd say you are really remarkable, and nothing can block you on your path to Consummation. Yet when we run into problems, we often look outwards--"Why are you treating me like that?"--and feel that we've been treated unfairly, instead of examining ourselves. That's the greatest and most fatal obstacle for all living beings. In the past, some people said that it was impossible to succeed in cultivation. How could one succeed in cultivation? [They couldn't succeed] because that was the biggest obstacle, and nobody was willing to find faults in himself amidst problems. When a person feels hurt, or when he encounters misfortune, it's really difficult for him to still examine himself and see if he's done something wrong. If a person can do that, then I'd say that on this path, on this path of cultivation, and for the eternity of his existence, nothing can stop him. It's truly the case."
September 18, 2005
