From the Taiwan North District Experience Sharing Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) Best wishes to respected Master! Best wishes to every fellow practitioner!
I am glad to have this opportunity to share my recent cultivation experiences. Please point out anything improper. Thank you.
1. Eliminating AttachmentsI am from Banqiao, Taiwan. Since I had attained Dafa in 1998, I thought I was very diligent in my cultivation. I had successfully passed several tests and tribulations. The other practitioners kept praising me. Gradually, some of my attachments became unconsciously magnified, such as fear of doing things wrong, fear of losing face in front of fellow practitioners, fear of being left behind in the Fa-rectification, etc. These attachments grew, more and more. Although I became aware of it, I didn't want to face this directly and so I hid it. From outward experiences it seemed that I firmly safeguarded Dafa, but, in the depth of my mind, the desire to protect Dafa was no longer pure.
In July 2004, I attended the practice for the Flag and Drum team and was fortunate to be selected as one of the members. On the afternoon of January 19, 2005, during a performance, while waiting backstage at the Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall, the practitioners in the Flag and Drum Team decided to practice the fifth exercise, "Strengthening Divine Powers" [the sitting meditation]. I participated in the practice. At the beginning, I had a thought: since many people were practicing together, it would not look good if my legs slipped down, and I thought that I must prevent this from happening. With such a thought, I started to do the exercise. During the one hour of the practice, my legs slipped down twenty or thirty times. After the exercise, practitioners approached me and asked if my pants fabric was too slippery; otherwise, how could such a thing happen to a practitioner who has practiced for so many years? I felt very embarrassed and kept explaining that my state was not quite right.
After the performance some practitioners and I took the big drums back to the stadium at Taiwan University. On the way there, a practitioner asked me again why my legs kept slipping down during the practice in the afternoon. I decided to tell the truth, that I was afraid to lose face during the practice; however, the more I was afraid, the more often my legs slipped down. I decide to face my attachments that had been hidden for a long time.
In February 2005, the Taiwan Flag and Drum Team came to New York to give a performance. During an experience sharing conference a fellow practitioner found out that I took others' opinions of me too seriously. He pointed it out by saying, "Why are you so afraid of losing face?" My attachment was brought up before so many practitioners. I felt so relieved. The attachment hidden deep in my mind was finally exposed and I was now able to get rid of it.
2. Passing Sickness Tribulation
On January 20, 2005, the fellow practitioners in the Flag and Drum Team finished the performance in the New Year's Gala at Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall in Taipei and started to prepare for the trip for the New York performance. The next day, the inside of my mouth started to swell like a bubble. The swelling became bigger and bigger and eventually occupied one-third of the space in my oral cavity. My nose also started to run every few minutes. It seemed there was no end.
One day, I was reorganizing things at home. Suddenly, I was a little shocked to smell something like a dead mouse. It occurred intermittently, with a very bad odor. I wondered how my home could have any mice. When I discovered that the smell was coming from my nostrils, I was startled. The physical pain was severe and it was almost beyond what I could tolerate. Sometimes I even wondered if I would be able to pass this tribulation. Nevertheless, I firmly kept studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. My life went on as usual. At the end of February, everything passed. My nose stopped running after nearly 40 days. I said to my wife, "If I didn't practice Falun Gong, my life in this world would have ended then."
3. Improving Xinxing through Conflicts
After the winter trip to New York, my wife and I had discussed when we would be able to come to Manhattan to clarify the truth. When we studied "Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Canada Fa Conference" we clearly knew that the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) still insidiously persecuted practitioners behind the scenes. The majority of the mainstream media in other countries are not reporting on the persecution of practitioners in China and keep silent in the face of the evil. Therefore, four members of my family decided to journey to the USA to clarify the truth in Manhattan, between July 2 and August 2.
When we arrived in New York we were assigned to a bedroom on the first floor of a house being shared by practitioners. There were two bedrooms on the first floor. Seven female practitioners stayed in the other room. There was only one shared bathroom. My wife was not used to these circumstances, and many ordinary people's thoughts came out. She complained much and wondered when we were going back to Taiwan and how soon August 2 would be here. Such a state of mind could affect our efforts to clarify the truth. We knew we had to improve our attitude through Fa study and experience sharing.
On the morning of July 11, four of my family members finished distributing truth-clarifying materials between 59th Street and 8th Avenue and decided to take a break in Central Park and study the Fa. The anti-torture exhibitions had then not yet started. That day we picked up our study in Lecture 4 of Zhuan Falun. When we finished, we started to share experiences. We thought about what a practitioner had said during a group study and sharing on Friday for the whole New York region, "The cultivation process is more important than the final result."
Then we realized, if we could not regard ourselves as practitioners, our journey of clarifying the truth in Manhattan would be one full of complaints; if we could not look inward, we would squander the month with complaining and eyeing others' shortcomings. Moreover, it is Master who specifically arranged this xinxing test for us. It is such a valuable opportunity for us to improve ourselves among the conflicts. When xinxing is improved, gong will advance as well. We thus determined to take this opportunity to increase our mind capacity. We should remember that we are practitioners at all times and put Dafa at first.
4. Eliminating Selfishness at a Critical Moment
Between July 20 and 23, we were in Washington, DC to participate in a Dafa experience sharing conference. On July 23 when I was going to check us out of the hotel with the $1,635.00 that our group of fellow practitioners handed to me (I was in charge of the group), a practitioner said she wanted to exchange the cash for her travelers checks. She wanted to pay for the rooms with her travelers checks. I was a little hesitant but eventually agreed. I handed her $1,635.00; she counted the money and accepted it.
She started to check us out of the rooms, one by one, with her travelers checks. Time passed quickly and it was close to the time for the Fa conference; however, we were still in the midst of the check-out procedure. When she was checking out of the last room she told me the amount of money I gave her was not correct and there was not enough to pay the room. Right there a thought flashed through my mind, "Why are you using travelers checks to check out? I have given you all the cash I had. I will not compensate you for the difference." Then I replied, "Do you know what time is it? Now you want to mention such a thing to me?"
Just after saying these words I immediately doubted that I was a practitioner. I realized that my self-centeredness at such a critical moment still manifested. I was trying to protect my own interest; I was not looking inside but looking to blame others when things happened. After I counted the money again I realized I was wrong! I had set aside $72.00 for phone charges and didn't give this to the practitioner together with the other money. I apologized to her again and again and immediately gave her the rest of the money.
I remembered what Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"They will often occur suddenly so that they can test one's Xinxing and make one's Xinxing truly improved. In this way, it can be told whether one can maintain his Xinxing. Therefore, when a problem comes up, it does not exist accidentally."
I felt frustrated with myself, for not being able to pass this test. At the critical moment, I didn't get rid of my preoccupation with myself.
5. Exposing the Evil through Anti-Torture Exhibitions
For the month I stayed in Manhattan, I mainly supported the anti-torture exhibition. At the site I always acted the role of an evil police officer. Initially, when I first acted, I felt a little embarrassed and just stood there straight, like a security guard. I also wanted to maintain my own image. Sometimes, I would look at my figure reflected in a store window to see whether I looked ok. It was really a bad thought, to try to prove myself.
Later, through sharing with other practitioners who also played the role of police officers, and through studying the Fa, I broke through many obstacles of ordinary people. I began to act from the perspective how to attract people's attention (people like to see a show that is as realistic as possible). Each time I had to make a gesture as a police officer attacking a practitioner, I would recite Lunyu once. In one hour I could recite "Lunyu" ten times. I would play this role daily for about two or three hours. One day, because there was no one to replace me, I acted the role of a police officer for five hours.
During this process, I experienced unexpected gain. Because I kept reciting "Lunyu," many unhealthy thoughts were cleaned up during my reciting the Fa. Of course, sometimes I might lose my concentration or become drowsy and had to start reciting again from the beginning. If my righteous thought was not strong enough when I acted as an evildoing police officer, the old forces would take advantage of my loophole and impose a false illusion. If I couldn't get rid of such an illusion, it would be enlarged. If this happened, the sentient beings that have been isolated would not be able to know the truth and it would prevent them from signing the petition to show their attitude. When I realized this principle of the Fa, I told myself to keep my main consciousness strong and to recite the Fa with a clear mind.
At the last anti-torture exhibition I attended before leaving New York, I concentrated on my role as a policeman and demanded of myself to recite the Fa with an undisturbed mind. I displayed various pretended moves and gestures, to demonstrate how the police beat practitioners. At the same time, the practitioner who acted the victim also manifested unyieldingly will, "No matter how you beat me, I will not give up the cultivation of Falun Dafa." The entire anti-torture exhibit, as a whole was very harmonious and displayed strong energy. Many passers-by stopped walking and came over to watch. Some signed the petition; some listened to our truth clarifying information and some read the exhibit materials.
At the end of the anti-torture exhibit, when I packed my luggage to say good-bye to fellow practitioners, an Australian practitioner told me, "Do you know how many people you have offered salvation to during this one month in Manhattan?" In fact, it is our benevolent Master who is truly doing the mission to save sentient beings. It is Master's arrangement for us to come to Manhattan to assist Master in Fa-rectification. It is a great honor for a disciple. My gratitude to Master!
Thank you, Master; thank you fellow practitioners!
August 19, 2005
