(Clearwisdom.net) Since I began cultivating Dafa, especially during the Fa-rectification period, I have truly felt that Master's Fa is like a lighthouse that helps me to weigh and judge each matter I encounter, and enables me to adjust myself accordingly.
Shortly after I began to cultivate, I listened to a recording of one of Master's Fa lectures given outside of China. I was deeply moved by one of the sentences, "I said if you are not able to love your enemy, you would not be able to become a Buddha," ("Teaching the Fa at the Houston Fa Conference," unofficial translation). I had this reaction because I had treated one of my colleagues as an "enemy." I felt bothered by whatever she said or did. Thus I felt awkward when dealing with her. When I talked with her, I spoke insincerely. She also knew of my hostility towards her, so she also did not show any kindness to me. Thus we hurt each other.
After I studied the Fa, I tried to treat other people with kindness. However, I could not do so with her. Whenever I saw her, I felt an intense dislike and resentment towards her. I knew this was not right, so at first I tried my best not to talk about her behind her back. After hearing Master's teaching, I felt he was talking about me. I also realized that my xinxing had not improved on this issue. Master said,
"Our practice has a focus and truly points out those attachments. By abandoning them, one will make very rapid progress in cultivation" (Zhuan Falun)
So I superficially thought that if I felt mad at her, then I was behaving (towards her) like a non-practitioner. My xinxing level was the same as hers, then wasn't I just like a non-practitioner? Moreover, since I am cultivating toward high levels, how could I have a petty problem with an everyday person? Why should I be mad at her? After thinking about it, when I encountered her unfriendly words or conduct, I tried my best not to get mad or feel bothered. In this way, I conducted myself according to the level of Fa principles that I could comprehend, and gradually I became able to cope with her in a peaceful manner. I thought that I had improved my xinxing on this matter. It was like this for four or five years.
Nowadays, Dafa practitioners are involved in clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings. I began to think about clarifying the facts to my colleagues around me. However, somehow I did not want to talk much with this particular colleague, as if I did not trust her. One day however, other party members in my office went to a training session on the party's so-called advanced characteristics. Only the two of us remained in the room. A thought suddenly came to me - why couldn't I take this opportunity to clarify the facts to her. Wouldn't a good start be to begin from talking about the party's "advanced characteristics?"
Thus I started to chat with her quietly. "Look at these party members, they dislike this activity, however, they have to participate in it against their wills and say some high-sounding words which do not come from their hearts." We then talked about those types of activities initiated by the communist party since they took power, all of which were meant to keep people from speaking out and having their own opinions. "They will persecute whoever speaks out, and they use evil means to rule people with their class-struggle philosophy. People are forced to lie and do unrighteous things to protect them. For so many years people have tolerated the evil things that the communists have done." As I saw that her position was clear on the evil nature of the communist party, I began to mention the communists' persecution of Falun Gong. I said, "Right now healthcare costs are high and people have to save money for their healthcare for when they get old. They do not know when they will be sick and they have a lot to worry about. However, for those who practice Falun Gong, they conduct themselves according to 'Truth, Compassion, Forbearance.' Their mentality improves and they become healthy. Many people have recovered from incurable diseases. Why does the government persecute this practice that has hundreds of benefits without any harm to people?"
I was surprised that my colleague had the same view, saying there is nothing wrong with "Truth, Compassion, Forbearance." She said she is very supportive of Falun Gong, and she quietly told me that her overseas relative told her about some anti-persecution activities by overseas Falun Gong practitioners. Her relative also took many photos of the events to show her after returning to China. She also expressed her eagerness to listen to the truth and not just listen to the one-sided story by the communist party.
I was surprised to see that she has such a righteous view on this important issue. Moreover, she was my most receptive audience in clarifying the facts face to face. However, at the same time, I had a little fear afterward. I was afraid that if I did not eliminate some of my attachments related to her, I would not be able to cope with her peacefully. Then she would not open her heart to me when I tried to save her. At this moment, I was mixed with happiness and regret. I said to Master, "Dear Master, a Dafa practitioner's cultivation is really for saving sentient beings!"
Shortly after that, there came another opportunity and we chatted again. To my surprise, this time from beginning to end, she talked without a pause about how evil the communist party is and about the persecution of Falun Gong. She also told me that a former classmate of her good friend's is a university professor who also practices Falun Gong. Every year at the classmates' reunion, she distributes truth-clarification materials and clarifies the facts. Several years have passed, and her friend began to think about this. She told her that in the current society it was difficult to understand why these people stick with Falun Gong, even though they could lose their lives. She believed that there could be only two explanations. One explanation is that they are irrational. However, they all seem perfectly normal. The other explanation is that Falun Gong may indeed be good for people's health. These words had a big influence on her. I listened to her talk as if I were a non-practitioner and I asked questions as she was talking. Finally, she asked me a question, "Do you think they are really fools?" She meant that practitioners are really the people who follow and speak the truth. I paused for a long time, tears came into my eyes, and I really felt happy for her. This life is savable, and every being having connections with this life also has hope to be saved.
From then on, we had more common topics to talk about. Moreover, whenever I talked about the evil nature of the malevolent communist party in the office, she echoed the truth, which has had a positive effect on our other colleagues.
My colleague's righteous position towards Dafa led to a surprising gain. That is, when I was writing down my experience I finally found the cause of our conflicts, which was strong selfishness and an attachment to myself. In the past, when I was trying to figure out my attachments, I did not diligently look inside. Instead, I focused on her shortcomings and I tried to find a way to deal with the problem superficially. This time I really thought it over. I realized that each time I showed my dislike to her, it was because of her vanity and her trying to be the best and showing off, which in turn offended my own attachments of showing off and competitiveness which were hidden deep within me. Subconsciously, I had tried to find proof that I was better than others and that everything I said and did were correct. Sometimes, I even argued irrationally and covered up the facts that showed that I was not better. What a strong attachment to promoting myself! For several years, our peaceful relationship was really very shallow. As I did not get rid of my selfishness from the root, I was not able to reach the state described by Teacher: "We need to always have a compassionate heart and calm mind." (Zhuan Falun) No wonder I treated her differently at first when clarifying the facts to my colleagues. I was saving people selectively; it was my problem, and I did not detect this selfishness.
If it were not for my thinking about saving sentient beings and Master's mercy in saving beings, I would not have fulfilled my mission and my colleague would have gained nothing from knowing me. I also think that when Master wants us to write our experiences about righteous thoughts and righteous conduct, perhaps Master has his plan? I now truly understand Master's being involved so much in our cultivation path during the Fa-rectification.
