(Clearwisdom.net)
1. Learning to look inward for the first time at the beginning of Fa Study, Witnessing Teacher's Encouragement
One day in the early summer of 1998, I demanded that my 8-year-old son give me a big peach that he had. I put the peach in front of Teacher's portrait. Although I wanted to show respect for Teacher, I did not realize that I could not force others to do anything even if it is the right thing at the time. My understanding of the Fa was shallow because I had been practicing for only a short time and I did not understand the meaning of looking inward. The next morning at 7 o'clock, I burned incense to Teacher and the incense burned at different speeds. I thought about this phenomenon: every day the incense burned at the same speed-- why was the speed different today? I talked to myself in front of Teacher's portrait to recall my behavior the day before and thought about what I did not do well. I silently asked, "If I find it, Teacher, please let the incense burn at the same speed and I can correct my wrong behavior." I recalled everything of the day before and remembered my child was unhappy about giving me the big peach (because he was ready to eat it). Actually I was uncomfortable at that time. Is it possible that I was wrong in doing this? It is right to give respect to Teacher; however, my attitude in doing this thing was wrong because I injured others. I am sure I did not do well on this matter (I did not realize that was looking inward at that time) and I said to Teacher in my mind, "Teacher, I was wrong to demand that my child give me the peach. I will not do it again. Am I right? If I am right, could you let the incense burn at the same speed?" When I opened my eyes, the incense was burning at the same speed in an instant. I felt it miraculous and I do not know how to thank Teacher for his boundless benevolence. The whole process of this event seemed very ordinary. However, it laid a solid foundation for me to look inward on my cultivation path. (P.S: I now realize that we should compare our conduct with the requirements of the Fa and not simply follow a method like this to determine whether we have found and eliminated our attachments or not.)
2. Not Forgetting to Look Inward During the Persecution; Breaking Through the Forced Labor Camp with Diamond-like Solid Faith
In November, 2000,I was unlawfully sentenced to one year at a forced labor camp for twice going to Beijing to appeal for Falun Dafa, and I wrote a letter of appeal. When I was at Nanmusi Women's Labor Camp in Zizhong County, Sichuan Province, policewoman Zhang Xiaofang and other police officers asked me to read some books. I said that I didn't want to read any books except those related to Falun Dafa. Only reading Falun Dafa related books could upgrade my virtue and I could look inside myself for shortcomings. The police didn't pay attention to me. I always clarified the truth about Falun Dafa and did the exercises when the police broadcast TV programs slandering Falun Dafa, holding rallies of "political exposure and criticism," or when a group of reporters was visiting the forced labor camp. Every time I clarified the truth about Falun Dafa, the police would lock me in a small separate cell, cuff my hands and brutally torture me. I was solid like a diamond and immutable in the face of those tribulations. One time, policewoman Zhang Xiaofang (at the Seventh Team) asked several collaborators to introduce fallacious theories based on some deliberately distorted interpretations of Falun Gong teachings. I closed my eyes and sat quietly. When they were tired I said to them "You take care yourself, you will awaken when you get out of here in the future." Since then, the police did not ask the collaborators to talk with me. One day I suddenly realized that this was not the place I should be. I'm a Falun Dafa practitioner. I wanted to study the Fa and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa. I should be free and live in a dignified and upright manner. I should not be restrained by any evil. At that time, I didn't know how to send righteous thoughts to eliminate evil, so I took actions to protest my unlawful detainment. I didn't answer when the police took roll call. The police called me to the office and asked why I didn't answer. I told them seriously, "I should not be here. This is a forced labor camp; I should break off all relations with it. Therefore, my name, voice, anything, should not be here. They also asked me why I started to eat. I said that my body is very important and I would not allow them to harm it. As long as I have steadfast righteous faith and take the Fa as teacher, I will eradicate all evil factors. For that I was imprisoned on the third floor in Brigade 8 and guarded by several female prisoners for about 20 days. On November 26, 2001, public security from my county and local police officers took me home. I was imprisoned in the Township Municipality for 15 days and was finally released .
3. My Thoughts on Changing Notions, Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions, Completely Rejecting the Old Forces' Arrangements, and Walking the Path that Teacher Has Arranged
After going home, I firmly studied the Fa. I rectified my old notions through studying the Fa. Now my understanding is that to be arrested, imprisoned, and interfered with by the evil was actually walking the path arranged by the old forces. I will be clear-headed, rational and have righteous thoughts and actions to walk the path arranged by Teacher. I will dig out every deviated thought and clean out by the roots the false "me." I will completely reject the old thoughts in my mind and eradicate all evil factors. Although some evil factors still exist, under Teacher's benevolent protection, I can study the Fa, do the exercises and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa now in a dignified and upright manner.
