(Clearwisdom.net) Over five years have elapsed in the Fa-rectification process. I would like to share some of my experiences with fellow practitioners, in the hope that we, as one body, can do better and become more mature.
When the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I did not know what personal cultivation was and what cultivation in the Fa-rectification period was, but I knew deep in my mind that Falun Dafa is good. One day, local police officers asked me to hand over my Falun Dafa books. I thought the books were mine and my righteous thoughts should overwhelm him. I refused, and they never asked again. Later local street officers talked with me. I used human concepts to deal with them, and said things a Falun Dafa practitioner should not have said. In the one year that followed, I was stagnated in my cultivation. I recited Lunyu in my mind, and thought that my righteous thoughts would defeat all evil. Later, fellow practitioners contacted me, and gave me Teacher's new articles. After reading them, I knew that I should validate Falun Dafa. I here declare that all of the words I said under pressure that do not conform to Falun Dafa are void. I will practice Falun Dafa with determination and will make up for the losses I have caused to Falun Dafa.
One midnight, since I had no materials in hand, I wrote "Falun Dafa Is Good" on the walls with chalk. After doing so for a period of time, some fellow practitioner said it didn't look good, so I stopped. One day in 2004, I ran out of printed truth clarification materials. I thought of teacher's words in "Lunyu": "humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking." My mind became clear, I thought if people could read "Falun Dafa Is Good" when they go up or down stairs that could eliminate the bad thoughts in their minds. So I started again to write sentences such as "Falun Dafa Is Good," "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance Is Good," "Peace Be with All Who Treat Falun Dafa Well!" and "Put Jiang Zemin on Trial Everywhere in the World!" I wrote these words on the walls with chalk.
Sometimes, I mailed truth materials to people. When I ran out of printed materials, I found articles from "Minghui Weekly," made carbon copies, and mailed or delivered them myself. Sometimes I directly told people that Falun Dafa is good. Once I was riding a bicycle. I saw an older person carrying a bunch of firewood on his back. He bent his body forward so that it was parallel to the ground. I passed him, but then turned back. I asked him to put the firewood on my bicycle. The old man was very grateful of me. I told him that my Teacher told me to be kind to people, and asked him to remember that Falun Dafa is good. He almost cried. I know people are waiting for Falun Dafa.
Though I have not done very well in the past years, in my mind, I want to do a good job along the path Teacher has arranged for me. The following are my experiences in dealing with the karma of illness, thought karma, and the attachment of fear.
1) Defeating the Interference of Thought Karma
One day I was working on my job. Strong thoughts that were disrespectful of Falun Dafa and Teacher, and thoughts that I could not practice Falun Dafa anymore appeared in my mind. While doing my job, I found myself making judgments: how could it be like this? I attained Falun Dafa relatively late. Once when I studied the paragraph about the primordial spirit, I reminded myself that I should remember that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. Then the strong thought karma came, but I was clear that it was merely interference. So I started sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. At first, my thoughts could not suppress the thought karma, so I asked for Teacher's help. I recited the Fa-rectification formulas in my mind to eliminate the thought karma and to reinforce myself.
After a while, the thought karma became weaker, and I could control my thoughts. I kept on sending forth righteous thoughts to destroy the thought karma. Gradually, it became weaker and weaker. The process lasted for about three hours.
After going home, I still sent forth righteous thoughts to cleanse myself. The second morning when I woke up, my mind was very clear and my heart was happy. With the help of Teacher, I had defeated the interference of thought karma.
2) Dealing with "Sickness Karma" with Righteous Thoughts
For roughly three years, I had pains in my legs and waist. Back then, I thought I had sprained a muscle in my lower back. It was very painful and I was covered with sweat after doing only the first set of Falun Dafa exercises. I did not realize my hidden attachment and did not upgrade my xinxing. Not long ago, I read the paragraph in Zhuan Falun:
"The reason for your discomfort is principally that you always fear catching some illness. In fact, the things that are developed in your body are quite powerful, and they are all gong, supernormal abilities, and many living beings. If they move around, you will feel physically itchy, painful, uncomfortable, etc. The extremes of the nervous system are particularly sensitive, and there will be all kinds of symptoms. As long as your body is not completely transformed by high-energy matters, you will feel this way. It should be seen as a good thing anyway. As a practitioner, if you always treat yourself like an everyday person and always think that you have illnesses, how can you practice cultivation? When a tribulation comes in cultivation practice, if you still treat yourself as an everyday person, I would say that your xinxing at that moment has dropped to the level of everyday people. At least on this particular issue, you have dropped to the level of everyday people." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)
These words enlightened me. The persecution and our cultivation in the Fa-rectification period have lasted over five years. The personal cultivation stage passed many years ago. Are the pains a test of our belief in Falun Dafa in the ordinary form? Only when all the elements that disturb our belief in Falun Dafa are eliminated, can we be totally on the right path. Cultivation is very serious. It took me so long before I could realize my basic attachment, and that's because I haven't studied Falun Dafa enough with a tranquil mind and have not spent enough time doing the exercises.
3) Eliminating the Mindset of Fear
Through studying Teacher's latest articles "Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World" and "We Are Not 'Getting Political,'" I realized that my mind has one fear after another. That's because the old forces have been making use of the evil CCP (Chinese Communist Party) spirit to disturb and persecute us. Some fellow practitioners have not been able to step forward to validate Falun Dafa. Their fears are due to CCP evil spirit, and they are attached to selfishness. I have a fear of police officers, but they are also sentient beings who are controlled and persecuted by the CCP evil spirit and need us to save them. Realizing this, I send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the CCP evil spirit. Whenever bad thoughts appear, I send forth righteous thoughts. My fear is getting weaker and weaker. After reading Teacher's latest articles, the same night, I got up to do exercises. A fear of my husband came up in my mind. Fear has been disturbing me for the past years. This time, I tried to be clear about what I was really afraid of. I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I need not fear anything. The next day, I talked with fellow practitioners. They reminded me that Teacher said,
"I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe.."(Zhuan Falun, Lecture One)
Before the persecution started, my husband did not say anything about my practice of Falun Dafa. After the persecution started, he quarreled with me quite often. One day a fellow practitioner called me and said that there were new articles from Teacher. My husband heard it. He shouted that if I went to pick up the articles, I should not come back. He said he would divorce me! I still left home to pick up the articles. When I came back, as soon as I entered the door, he was shouting: "Pack up your things! Get out of here!" He wanted to divorce me. I thought that divorce is not so serious for me, but if that happened my husband would misunderstand Falun Dafa and he would not be saved. So I used our child as an excuse to get rid of his thought of divorce.
During the past years, I made slow progress by cultivating at home. I studied Falun Dafa and did the exercises stealthily, until my husband understood. I wore the Falun emblem secretly until my husband said he understood what I said. Through studying Teacher's new articles, I finally realized that the evil communist spirits have influenced my husband, so he is against my practicing Falun Dafa. My fear is also due to my being poisoned by the CCP evil spirits. So I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the influence of the CCP evil spirits against me and against all people. Here I solemnly declare that I quit all of the CCP organizations (Young Pioneer, Youth League, and CCP). Let all disturbances of the CCP evil culture upon me be eliminated and destroyed.
In the process of truth clarification and validating Falun Dafa, I also cultivated myself and enlightened to more and more Falun Dafa principles. I am more determined that I am a particle of Falun Dafa. More and more, I have realized that I am validating Falun Dafa, not validating myself, that the process of validating Falun Dafa is a process of getting rid of selfishness and of totally assimilating to Falun Dafa. I am a disciple of Teacher. I'll follow Teacher's directions until the Fa-rectification comes to completion.
