(Clearwisdom.net)

In "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference" Master said,

"Having said that, another thing occurred to me, and that is, you shouldn't look at things in absolute terms. And that's especially true when it comes to those crooked principles that the evil in China propagates. For example, they spread, "if you want others to do well, you have to do well yourself first." Think about it everybody, is that saying right? Many people hold on to that saying and use it to hide their own mistakes that they don't want to correct. And that's especially so for those who have problems--they take it as the truth and won't let go. I can tell you, though, that this is absolutely wrong."

Whenever I read that, I had the feeling that I might not have behaved correctly in some manner. Whenever I saw other people's attachments, I didn't dare to bring them up for fear that I myself was not behaving perfectly in that area. I did not think more deeply about this. Every time Master tried to enlighten me, I pushed it away.

Recently, Master said clearly in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,"

"The evil ringleader and the CCP made up lies and told our students how their teacher was so rich, how he had such-and-such luxury apartments in Beijing and Changchun, and how he led such an extravagant lifestyle. When I taught the Fa in China my lifestyle was in fact quite basic. Well, a student in Mainland China said, "Our Master is the best and he wouldn't be like that. If our Master were that way I wouldn't follow Him." I was saddened by that, and more than ever I understood the hardship and pains felt by the previous divine beings who had descended to the world to save people."

I suddenly realized that I had long had trouble with this problem, which was also my biggest problem in truth clarification. In the end, my human notions affected my belief in Master. At the same time, it also showed that I had not laid down a solid foundation in Fa study and cultivation. I was able to superficially clarify the truth to others, but my xinxing was not elevated.

I began cultivation at the end of 1998. When I first read Zhuan Falun, I was deeply touched by the Fa that Master imparted. I clearly realized that this was the law I had been seeking my entire life, and right away I started to practice. Because I studied the "Fa" in a superficial way and was not diligent, however, I did not clearly understand the standard set for practitioners in the Fa-rectification period, even though I had done some truth clarification and had never given up Fa study or belief in Master after the persecution began. I had hidden negative thoughts when clarifying the truth to non-practitioners and my family. When I was explaining the slander imposed upon Master by the Chinese Communist Party, unconsciously I was trapped in the theory and logic I was educated with by the Communist Party's culture. People would tell me, "You should rationally and clearly think about the problem. Do not believe everything you were told" and "There are a lot of things you have not understood. Do not be so naive." I would reply to them, "I am very rational and clear. I have been thinking it over and practicing it myself. Master has told us be a good person, to be a better person. Nothing is as bad as you have imagined, not to mention those slanders made by the evil CCP. If one day Master asks us not to be good, I will not be steadfast as of that day." In other words, I would no longer believe in Master. Every time I said this, I felt something wrong within myself. Zhuan Falun is the law imparted by Master; every sentence in the book was spoken by Master; how could I talk about giving up cultivation? We cannot separate belief in Master from belief in the Law. Master has taught us the law, and I know I myself came for this law.

Even though it has been one year since this happened, I still make this solemn declaration for those irrational words I said. I will purify myself and elevate myself through continuously studying the Fa, cultivating myself, clarifying the truth, and sending forth righteous thoughts. I will treasure this rare chance I have been awaiting since the ancient times.

April 25, 2005