(Clearwisdom.net) During the persecution, like many fellow practitioners, my home has been ransacked, and I have been illegally detained, sentenced to forced labor and severely beaten. The labor camp authorities did not release me until they had extorted a lot of money from my family. I had been on the wrong path. With my fellow practitioners' help and careful Fa study, I was able to remove the mentality of fear through the process of truth-clarification and travel on my path of Fa-rectification cultivation practice with continued improvement.
In the past, I treated the detention and persecution with human thinking. Even after being released, I did not have a clear understanding. Because I feared being arrested again, I took a detour as soon as I saw a police car or a police officer. I did not dare to visit others and was frightened if someone knocked on my door. I had a lot of fear in my mind. I easily fell asleep when studying the Fa and my hand often failed to stay erect when sending forth righteous thoughts. I was frightened as soon as I heard that some practitioners were arrested. I clarified the truth as if finishing an assignment, instead of wanting to save people from the bottom of my heart. My fellow practitioners noticed my troubled cultivation state. They told me to study the Fa with a calm mind and to dig out my fundamental attachments.
I started reading Dafa books and Teacher's articles carefully. I realized that I had treated the persecution as human against human and had therefore failed to ascend from that level.
Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,"
"Whenever human thoughts emerge among Dafa disciples, it is something the evil will take advantage of and the evil beings will use it to do the bad things they want to do."
I came to understand that, as long as one has human thoughts, the evil will persecute him. How could I forget that I was a Dafa disciple? How could I neglect saving the sentient beings who are being persecuted by the evil party?
Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,"
"If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace."
I read this repeatedly and found my understanding deepened. Teacher has made what to do very clear. It is lethal not to follow Teacher's words. In fact, cultivation is to break away from selfishness and self-centeredness. A cultivator must be without fear, and it would not do if he held on to Buddhahood with one hand and to humanness with the other hand. Fear is not me. It is the result of the evil specter's long-term brainwashing, and the result of killing, deceiving and lying during many movements launched by the evil Communist Party. I understood that the fear belonged to the evil specter and not to me.
After I had a clear understanding of the Fa, I indeed stepped out from humanness to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. Now I get up very early to practice the five sets of exercises, and then go to the middle of crowded places to clarify the truth. One day I made a trip out of town to visit my relatives. During the trip I helped several dozen people publish the three-withdrawal announcement (announcing their withdrawal from the Communist Party and its affiliated organizations).
Occasionally the mentality of fear has emerged in my truth-clarification. As soon as it emerges, I rectify myself with Dafa. One day a relative said to me, "You are very busy with distributing flyers and talking about the three-withdrawal statements. Everybody knows you and will thinks that you did everything." I was frightened upon hearing this. My heart started beating very fast. I asked my fellow practitioners to help me send forth righteous thoughts to remove the mentality of fear, and I recited Teacher's poem "Fear What" repeatedly. More than two hours later, the substance of fear melted. I suddenly felt relaxed, and calmed down. I realized that the Fa's mighty power is enormous and I can do anything as long as I do things according to the Fa.
I often take the opportunity to go where there are crowds to save sentient beings, such as at weddings and funerals. Before I attend, I send forth righteous thoughts and ask Teacher to strengthen my power. I go early and clarify the truth to anyone I meet. I take them to a corner and have a private conversation with some of them because they're afraid of being heard by the others. After one agrees to withdraw from the Party, I go to the next person. I keep moving without chatting about everyday topics. If several relatives are together, I clarify the truth to all of them together and have them withdraw from the Party together. I do not mind anybody or find it difficult to start my topic. I have only one thought, "I came to save all of you." Their knowing side is aware of it.
In a house warming party, I took the opportunity and helped 27 people quit the Party. There have been seven or eight events like this. I was quite happy afterwards, because many sentient beings were saved. In clarifying the truth, I make it simple. If they cannot understand, I explain in more detail. The key is to have them understand the importance of this issue.
I also keep improving myself in clarifying the truth. My past mentality of fear has disappeared without my being aware of it. I forget everything when I am clarifying the truth and I just keep talking. Sometimes I become attached to the number of people quitting the Party. If I have helped a lot of people quit the Party, I feel pretty content, but if I have helped only a few people quit the party, I feel I have wasted a day.
From studying the Fa, I understand that we should, "Gain naturally without pursuit." ("Falun Dafa Lecture in Sydney") I looked inside and wondered why I was feeling frustrated when I helped only a few people quit the party. Is this not the attachment of fame and self-interest, the attachment of showing off? If another's comment was "Amazing!" I became delighted and very pleased. In fact I was proving to myself that demons can easily take advantage of the attachments of showing off and zealotry. I do not want postnatally formed substances and therefore resisted it resolutely. The substance gradually dissolved.
This concludes my understandings. Please point out anything improper.
