(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings Master!
Greetings fellow practitioners!
Reviewing the journey of my cultivation begun several years ago, I find that there are no dynamic events, but only the gentle and peaceful actions that Dafa disciples should carry out. There was no zealotry that made me get overexcited and act irrationally, but just the gratification I felt when I read Master's new scriptures. There was bitterness when I couldn't let go of my attachments, and, there was the sense of sublimation after I let go of my attachments and built up righteous thoughts.
As Dafa disciples during the Fa-rectification period, each one of us has clearly known the grand historical responsibilities that Master has bestowed on us. However, we are cultivating among everyday society, especially in this modern, materialistic world, and we all have ordinary human notions that were formed many years ago. These create difficulties for us when validating Dafa and saving sentient beings. Therefore, each one of our fellow practitioners should handle everything truly from the standpoint of Fa-rectification instead of from the standpoint of human notions. We should truly understand each word of Master's from our heart and completely step forward from humanness. Only by doing so, can we truly fulfill the three things that Master asks of us.
From several years' experience, I have realized that no matter how difficult our surroundings, no matter what happens to us, and no matter how bad our human notions are, as long as we remember what Master said, and think and behave according to the requirements of Master, our righteous thoughts will come from our hearts. The purity, the clarity and brightness inside our hearts, the sublimation brought by our righteous thoughts--these are things that cannot be fully expressed in human language. Only with a firm belief in Master and Falun Dafa can we build up righteous thoughts. There will be no problems that cannot be solved, and neither will there be any obstacles that will block our way. For the past several years I have walked my path with righteous beliefs and thoughts.
Master Is Beside Us--What Is There to Be Afraid of?
On July 20, 1999, the brutal suppression of Falun Dafa began in China. Since I was blacklisted at my workplace, I noticed that, every now and then, my fear would surface. At that moment, I would ask myself, "What on earth is there to be afraid of? It is only fear of being illegally arrested and being persecuted to death. If you can't let go of life and death, you're just a human. As a Dafa disciple during the Fa-rectification period, can I reach Consummation with such a serious, selfish attachment? We would give up everything that we own for Dafa, even our lives, so what is there to be afraid of? How many innumerable hardships has Master suffered as He descended to the lowest level of this human world in order to spread Dafa and save us from hell during the Fa-rectification period! What is left for me to not let go? Isn't being afraid of something a kind of attachment and is even asking for it?" Master said:
"As a practitioner, if you always think that it is an illness, you are actually asking for it. If you ask for an illness, it will come inside your body." (Zhuan Falun)
The evil will be capable of making their move based on whatever we are afraid of. Being a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period is already the greatest honor since ancient times, and it is most fortunate for me to a disciple of Master. There are so many people with predestined relationships who have not obtained Dafa. What do I have that can't still be abandoned? When thinking like this, the fear just disintegrated. Actually, I feel that our righteous thoughts can fully manifest in a brief moment.
I remember the first time when I went out on the street and posted some truth clarification materials that I had written. It was 3:30 a.m. Due to my fear, I felt that there were eyes everywhere and my heart beat hard. I was so frightened! At the time, Master's Fa-rectification verses had not been introduced yet. I thought of a paragraph from Zhuan Falun,
"I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe." (Zhuan Falun)
I then held the thought that nobody could harm me because I have Master beside me and I fear nothing. Once I had these righteous thoughts, I became peaceful and felt that the sky and earth had become wider, as if the evil disappeared. Recalling this, I realize that this breakthrough was the result of Master strengthening me.
A fellow practitioner once said to me, "It seems like you don't have any fear when you distribute truth clarification materials." I said, "No, fear sometimes emerges. The key is what I do if fear comes up. You should think that you are a disciple of Master and you are doing something to save sentient beings, and you will not be afraid of the evil. Especially now that we have the Fa-rectification verses, what are you afraid of? Once you have righteous thoughts, fear will dissipate naturally. When fear comes out again, you dissipate it again. Isn't this cultivation?" In recent years I have helped many fellow practitioners to step forward and validate Dafa. To help them get rid of their fears, I brought them with me to distribute Dafa materials and told them to send forth righteous thoughts. I also told them what to pay attention to when doing truth clarification activities.
Dafa Material Sites Function Normally Under Master's Care
As the Fa-rectification constantly pushes forward, in 2001, my son--also a practitioner--bought a computer and printer. At the beginning I wrote truth clarification materials and sent them out, and mailed letters to other places and various related units. Then I distributed the leaflets printed from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Later my son started to compile truth clarification materials himself and submitted them to the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. After fellow practitioners working on the website checked and published them, he downloaded and printed them. For several years he was responsible to Dafa and he was very strict on choosing the materials to be distributed. Sometimes other practitioners brought in all kinds of materials, wanting us to distribute them, but our guideline was that we didn't adopt or pass on articles that were not published by the Minghui website. In the meantime, we told fellow practitioners not to pass along anything extreme. The materials production site never reproduced any materials from other channels, and we effectively prevented the spread of materials that undermined the Fa. No matter how vicious an attack on Dafa is, with righteous belief in Master and righteous thoughts I have broken through difficulties one after another, and the Dafa materials production site has never stopped running during these past years.
Because the persecution by the evil in our area escalated in recent years, Dafa materials production sites were destroyed one after another. It frequently happened that the authorities ransacked the house of a practitioner, computers and printers were confiscated, and fellow practitioners were arrested and sent to labor camps. For a time there were no Dafa materials sites in other places. More seriously, fellow practitioners who distributed materials were arrested, and practitioners who had contact with them were also arrested or sent to brainwashing classes. They were questioned for the source of Dafa material. It was made clear several times that the authorities would find all the Dafa materials production sites.
Under these circumstances I studied the Fa, looked inward for anything that needed improvement, and increased the frequency and duration of sending forth righteous thoughts. We are Dafa practitioners: we don't want any arrangements for us other than Master's, and no one should touch us. With firm righteous thoughts, I am able to get rid of the mentality of doing things, of complacency and fear. I am strict with myself in all situations and never slack off. I don't doubt the firmness of fellow practitioners and I believe that they certainly can break through difficulties. Because of practitioners' steadfastness, the Dafa materials production sites in our area were effectively protected. However, when other fellow practitioners were worried about the safety of Dafa materials sites, I say to them, "We are a whole entity. Besides, we are practitioners and our thoughts have power, so your worry will evolve into a huge attachment. Isn't this a pursuit? For this, the evil will take advantage of our loopholes. We need to send forth righteous thoughts together and not let the evil have soil to grow in, and they will fail." Working together to distribute truth-clarification materials, we rectified the thoughts and actions that did not conform to Dafa, and we consulted with each other and studied and cultivated together.
During this period there was another event--an anonymous department informed my workplace that they had to send me to a brainwashing class. However my manager refused to cooperate with them. I learned about this event afterward. I realized that it was Master's strengthening and protection. Then I had a deeper understanding of Master's words, "Disciples' righteous thoughts are strong, Master has the power to turn back the tide" (Provisional translation, "Master-Disciple Grace", Hong Yin II). Only after I cultivate myself well is there a more relaxed environment, and then we can validate the Fa well. My son and I remind each other and mutually encourage each other. We study Dafa well and do our best to achieve non-omission, disallowing the old forces to take advantage of our gaps. We have been able to walk our path these past several years with the protection of Master.
Placing Full Emphasis on Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts
Immediately after Dafa disciples all over the world began sending forth righteous thoughts together every day, I joined in during the set times, but I couldn't feel anything. I didn't place full emphasis on sending forth righteous thoughts at all at that time. I didn't realize the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts and neither did I experience the strong power of righteous thoughts until I began printing out leaflets for truth clarification. At the very beginning, when I was learning how to print, my son told me that I definitely should send forth righteous thoughts for this, but I didn't agree with him. When I started to print without sending forth righteous thoughts, either the leaflets were printed incorrectly, or there was something wrong with the printer. This put me in a terrible fix. I suddenly remembered that I should try to send forth righteous thoughts. Everything became smooth when my righteous thoughts emerged. Henceforth, I send out righteous thoughts whenever I begin to print files, and I persist in doing so ceaselessly. During the whole process of printing, if I paused in my righteous thoughts, some kind of interference occurred.
I suddenly remembered that Master once told us that at the beginning of spreading Dafa, in order to introduce Dafa to people, Master cured other people's illness. Then the old forces gathered at the place of infection and blocked Master from healing illness. After you eliminate one batch of evil spirits, another will come up to take their place. The evil tried to play the role of interfering with and undermining the Fa-rectification. I believe that printing truth clarification materials is the main step to saving sentient beings, and the evil must eye it covetously. The evil did its utmost to block the printer, waiting for a chance to undermine. They are trying their best to obstruct Fa-rectification, and they are all-pervasive; they will take advantage of any omissions on our part. Later, I started to place more emphasis on sending forth righteous thoughts. From this experience I deeply feel the difficulty with which Master saves us. I also feel the great power of the Fa-rectification phrases.
Learning to Edit Truth-Clarification Leaflets
Because my son was so busy, even though I had an everyday job, I took on the task of editing truth-clarification leaflets. It is very difficult to do. First I learned how to access the Internet and download the materials, and while my granddaughter was learning spelling in English, and I also learned with her. After I learned to spell, I learned how to type. To edit truth-clarification leaflets for our local area, I have to choose the materials and set up the word processing, but at first I knew nothing about it. With instruction from my son and with the wisdom endowed by Master, I started editing. During the process of editing I frequently met with interference, but I could not be impatient. Otherwise, the article just got lost or disappeared. I knew that it might because I lacked experience, but the main cause was interference from the evil.
At that time, I increased the frequency and duration of sending forth righteous thoughts. In this way I edited the leaflets for truth clarification and sent them to Minghui/Clearwisdom website. After I downloaded them from Minghui and checked for editorial changes, I found that almost all the articles I worked on had been changed. Immediately, I started to be afraid of the difficulty of this project and did not want to edit any more. I even wanted to complain about it. I felt that the materials I had chosen befitted the local situation, and wondered why they were not accepted by the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. In a word, my selfishness welled up. Then I became alert at once. Being sensitive about reputation, resentment and fear of difficulty are all old notions. They are precisely the attachments that we should let go of.
Recognizing my shortcomings, I noticed the gap between me and fellow practitioners at the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. The articles I chose did not properly represent the current state of Fa-rectification. The whole page was too stiff and rigid. The first point in editing leaflets for truth clarification is to draw readers in with an attractive page design, and with pictures and accompanying texts of excellent quality. Secondly, the chosen materials should be in accord with the current state of Fa-rectification and make it easy for everyday people to accept so that it may accomplish the object of saving sentient beings. Fellow practitioners at Clearwisdom.net helped me to get rid of my attachments, and at this time I'd like to express my gratitude to them. Once I recognized my shortcoming and established righteous thoughts, when I again edited I earnestly studied the leaflet samples from other provinces and referred to Minghui Weekly and Minghui Weekend. I carefully figured it out. Strengthened by Master, I made great progress in editing leaflets. Although there were many shortcomings and I had much to learn about many techniques, I gradually mastered them. I firmly believe that I can accomplish this job very well.
Master Is Beside Me
Just like a child learning to walk, I was helped by Master step by step right up until today. I remember once that my body was cleansed. I had loose bowels from 3 p.m. until 10 p.m. During the entire seven hours, I was constantly in and out of the restroom dozens of times. Even the water I drank was excreted, and an ordinary person would have collapsed. However, by the second day it seemed like nothing had happened to me, and my work was not delayed. Sometimes I got a fever. If I had a fever in the evening I would recover the next morning. As long as you have righteous thoughts and don't think of it as an illness, Master will arrange it well for you.
For years, whenever I was not diligent, or if there were some problems that I did not notice, or there was potential danger that I needed to understand, Master always used dreams to give me hints. For example, in 2004 I had a dream. I was on a slope and the mountain was steep. Under my feet was wet and slippery stone and it was really difficult to take a step. I moved slowly while a snake-like monster nosed out of a hole. I was a little afraid (I still had fear). Suddenly there was a voice telling me that past the river down the mountain I would reach my destination. After hearing this, I had a look. In fact, the river was very close and shallow. At that moment a carriage rushed down from the mountain, with a young fellow standing up on it with reins in his hand. The carriage rushed over the river, and a lot of mud and water was splashed after it passed. The river was such a shallow, muddy river. After I woke up from the dream I realized that because I was not diligent, Master gave me a hint that I should not get lost again (the muddy river was like water of oblivion). I should get rid of the fear and strive forward vigorously, just like that young fellow without any fear that he would reach the other shore. At every critical moment, Master gives me a hint. Master has been so benevolent to His disciples and is tireless. As a disciple I can only strive forward vigorously to express my gratitude.
Finding Shortcomings In Myself
As for myself, I feel that I still have many attachments of varying degrees. Because I am very busy, have housework and am responsible for sending my granddaughter to school, I found excuses to not study the Fa or practice the Falun Gong exercises (especially exercises 1-4) a lot. I let go of my attachment to qing and competitiveness very slowly. For example, when my granddaughter was selfish and obstinate, I could not keep down my anger and would shout at her. I even hit myself sometimes instead of hitting my granddaughter and I did not regard myself as a practitioner at those times. Sometimes I realized that it's not right like to be this. However, I could not let it go. At times I cried out, "Master, what should I do?" Thinking of this, I would feel too shamed to show my face.
One time I was angry and my granddaughter said to my son, "I wonder if my grandmother is really a practitioner." For my granddaughter to say this was evidently a hint from Master. (My granddaughter believes in Falun Dafa very much and she can recite nearly twenty poems from Hong Yin.) Master said:
"Some people will lose their temper in disciplining children and yell at them, making quite a scene. You should not be that way in disciplining children, and neither should you, yourselves get really upset. You should educate children with reason so that you can really teach them well. If you cannot even get over a trifle and lose your temper easily, how can you expect to increase your gong?" (Zhuan Falun)
A practitioner never encounters things without a reason. Because I had not gotten rid of the attachment of anger, I thought my granddaughter always lost her temper and was selfish. I did not look inward and only found faults in others. Is this the state a practitioner should be in? Just as Master told us, "When you always maintain a heart of benevolence and compassion, you will have time or room to buffer the confrontation and think, should a problem arise suddenly." (Zhuan Falun) Only when I remind myself that I am a Dafa practitioner and study the Fa carefully and well, and am strict with myself, can I do well.
Let's remember Master's words:
"So as a cultivator, what is truly remarkable is when you can be steadfast and have righteous thoughts so firm that nothing can sway you. Be solid and firm like diamond, or granite, and then nothing can affect you--evil will be afraid at the mere sight of you." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
This is my personal understanding; please kindly point out any shortcomings.
November 10, 2005