Shared at 2005 Australia Falun Dafa Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, revered Teacher! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am glad to have this opportunity to share my experiences at such a sacred conference. My name is Kaman and I am 16 years old. I have been practicing Falun Dafa for eight years. I have benefited a lot from the practice, both physically and mentally. Nevertheless, I was never diligent. The older I became, the less I did the exercises and the less I studied the Fa, using schoolwork as the excuse. I have attended many conferences in both Australia and the US. Every single time after the conference, I told myself to be more diligent as there isn't much time left, but I still felt I never advanced. I hardly studied the Fa or exercised. Instead I sat around worrying, until my mother told me to study the Fa and to exercise.
All of this changed in the past year. I was in the US for six months, mostly by myself. My family went to clarify the truth for the Manhattan project for two months. Affected by the diligence of practitioners in Manhattan, I naturally became more diligent in my cultivation. I started to read Zhuan Falun every day without my parents telling me to, and I gained much confidence in clarifying the truth to sentient beings. Before, due to my fear, when I clarified the truth to people, I often rushed and wanted to get it over with. I talked like a robot, repeating words at a fast pace regardless of the listener's reaction. As soon as I finished speaking with that person, I immediately would go to the next person, just like a job. I realized that what I was doing was wrong when an older man asked me to repeat myself many times because I was speaking too fast. I understood that Master was using this man's mouth to tell me I needed to use my heart to clarify the truth.
My family left after two months and I had the choice of whether I wanted to stay or not. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, whether I should go home and continue my comfortable lifestyle or stay in the harsh New York environment by myself. I decided to stay because I knew it was my duty to save these people, and I wanted to challenge myself outside of my comfort zone.
I stayed at a practitioner's home, which was leased to other practitioners from around the world. Everyone went their own way and was busy with their own things. I had to look after myself in everything. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, did my laundry and much more. This was completely new to me.
Since it took me almost an hour one-way to reach Manhattan by subway every day, I read Zhuan Falun during this spare time. Due to reading at least one lecture every day, I could feel the power of the Fa when clarifying the truth to people. For example, because many people looked at our display but did not take any material, I spoke to them while they were looking. They ended up asking me questions, taking flyers and eventually signing the petition. I could see that because I had studied the Fa more, I developed more energy and could clean up layers and layers of dimensions of the people to whom I clarified the truth. In contrast, if I didn't study the Fa well on a particular day, no one would even take my flyers!
During this time when I stood on the streets each day, I let go of the attachment of judging people. While standing there, I saw the people walking past and thought, "Ah, this person looks nice, she will take a flyer" or "this person looks mean and I bet he won't even look at this." Because of my thoughts and judgments, this "nice" person ignored the display and the "mean" person signed the petition. I immediately understood that what I saw in this dimension might be totally different in another dimension, so judging in this dimension with our human notions cannot be accurate. From then on, I only had righteous thoughts. When I saw people I thought, "I am saving you, sentient beings, please listen to me!"
The New York winter is quite cold. No matter how many layers of clothes I wore, I still felt I was not wearing anything upon stepping outside. The longer I stood at the torture exhibition, the colder I felt. One day at the torture exhibition it snowed heavily. Inches of snow fell on the elderly ladies who were reenacting the tortures. Moved by this sight every time, I almost cried. I thought, "Dafa practitioners are truly magnificent and will go through all types of suffering just to save sentient beings." Due to the severe cold, only one person signed the petition. Other passersby were not willing to take their hands out of their pockets. Even when the one man signed, no ink came out because the pens were frozen. Nevertheless, despite the cold, Dafa disciples from teenagers to seniors over 70 years old continued to do the torture exhibition.
The second time I went to New York I saw changes in Manhattan's people. More Caucasian people were taking flyers and signing the petition, and more businessmen understood the truth, thus being saved. It was much easier than last time. This time I was at a torture exhibition on Park Avenue where a lot of high-class businesses were located. Once when a man in a business suit looked at our display, I offered him a flyer but he rejected it, so I started clarifying the truth to him. Then he took my flyer and said, "You enlightened me."
Teacher said,
"Then what kind of people does Dafa save? What kind of people do Dafa disciples set out to rescue? It's no simple matter, for sure. Why is it that we, who are being persecuted so severely, still want to save sentient beings? Why is it that we, while experiencing such ruthless persecution, are still thinking of others? [Because] it is something that history has entrusted you with, for these people [you are to save] represent immense groups of beings. So this isn't just about people, but is about the hope that the beings of the cosmos have placed in you, and placed in the fact that Dafa is spreading broadly throughout the world today. It is a predestined opportunity for them. So if any being misses this predestined opportunity, it might well be that he has lost it forever." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago")
This trip to the US made me realize that without studying the Fa well, we cannot truly save people and fulfill the mission endowed upon us by history. Without stepping forward and clarifying the truth solidly, a practitioner cannot feel the power of Dafa. Only when we can do the three things well according to Teacher's requirements will Dafa manifest its mighty power, thus saving more sentient beings.
Another breakthrough I made was being more open minded about different ways of saving people. Since arriving in Manhattan, practitioners had been asking me whether I wanted to dance for the gala. I always rejected their request because I didn't think dancing would help save people. Moreover, I had more of a boyish attitude and didn't like dancing. They continued to ask me for many months until my mother shared her thoughts with me. She said that every person has a different way to be saved. Some through truth clarification at a torture exhibition, some through reading the Nine Commentaries and quitting the CCP, and some through watching the New Year Gala. I then realized that Master had given me many signs that I should do dancing. It was not a coincidence that the practitioners asked me, so I went to try out. At first I was very attached to being chosen to dance in the gala, but I realized that this notion was wrong. I know that Master has everything organized for me and all I have to do is to follow the path and eliminate my attachments in the process. I kept this thought in my mind, "No matter what role, big or small, I play in the gala, it is still part of the whole body and every particle is important, so I should do it with all my heart." I also eliminated my attachment of not wanting to dance. I thought that since everything is made for the Fa, it is no coincidence that as a young female I have the right body structure to dance. Some people, even if they wanted to dance, were either too old or not of the right shape, so I knew this was meant to be.
After five months of being in New York, I returned home. The first thing I did was clarify the truth to my friends, classmates, and teachers. In the past I hardly told my friends about Falun Dafa because I was afraid of what they would think of me. Now I understand that all sentient beings need to be saved and I cannot let my human notions stop me from saving people. Moreover, they had the predestined relationship to be my friends so I feel even more responsible to save them. As a result, this time my friends did not show any misunderstanding. Instead they were really shocked and were glad that I was taking action to stop this brutal persecution. Whenever appropriate, I incorporate things that clarify the truth in my schoolwork. For example, I wrote a story about a brave woman upholding her beliefs of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance," who did not fight back when being tortured. I also wrote about the evil nature of the CCP. A couple of years ago, I gave a persuasive speech regarding the persecution. I was ranked best in the class and it was sent to the head of department. There are boundless ways to clarify the truth. We just have to step forward.
Teacher said,
"The Buddha Fa" is most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the most intricate and extraordinary science. In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance." (Lunyu from Zhuan Falun)
My own notions and preferences often interfered with my efforts to clarify the truth. Today, people in this world live in delusion. The old forces also interfere with them. As practitioners, we should use various methods and try to save them with compassion. As a result, when I eliminate my own notions, I can clarify the truth better with the mindset of saving sentient beings.
Although I missed a term of school, my results continued to be good and consistent. This was one of the many factors I considered when I was staying in New York. I know that the Fa has given me wisdom. It has been proven in my good results, so I was able to catch up. I had the most unforgettable experience in my personal cultivation upon my return from the US. Due to the fact that I was either number one or two for my results in the past, I was afraid that I wouldn't get an A on my exam and it would be an embarrassment. Moreover, I really wanted to beat this other guy at school. So I studied all night without sleeping. However, in the morning it was even worse when I couldn't recall anything. Though I knew I would pass, I still wasn't satisfied. I almost cried over this. Upon arriving at school, I realized that I was too attached to competition and fame, so I let it go with the thought, "If I try my best then it will be fine, because no matter how smart you are in the human world, it is still nothing in the eyes of an enlightened being." Once I let go of the attachment, I felt so much better. I felt relieved and experienced the light feeling that one can only feel after going through genuine cultivation. I actually ended up doing quite well on that exam.
Although there are not as many activities as in New York and there are fewer people in Queensland, I enlightened that I cannot rely on other people to do things like in I did in New York. An example is how all the torture exhibitions and activities were already organized for us. All we did was just attend. Here, I have to create my own cultivation environment and everyone has his/her own different path. After coming back home, my attachment of seeking comfort re-surfaced. Despite my awareness, I still relaxed in my Fa study and truth clarification. I found that my truth clarification was becoming less effective and I started to feel scared to speak to people again. From what I understand in the process of cultivation, I will regress if I don't strive forward and I cannot stay at one level. Recently, when I went to New York again by myself for one month, I re-enlightened to this problem. This time I knew that I cannot be less diligent in a comfortable environment and I should put in even more effort in doing well.
During the entire time I never considered my age as a limitation to doing things. This never entered my mind. I believe that regardless of a Dafa disciple's age, he/she is bound to do extraordinary things. I know a lot of young people tend to think, "Oh, I have schoolwork, I have friends, or I am too young to do things." A disciple needs to prioritize Dafa above ordinary things and when it is done this way, Master will organize everything for the disciple.
I know there is not much time left so I want to say that I am very grateful that benevolent Master has given me chance after chance to enlighten to this. Cultivation is not meant to be easy and is very serious. When I don't do well, my attachments come back. Teacher said,
"To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan Falun)
As Dafa disciples we have to do everything to save sentient beings. As the Fa rectification is moving at an increasingly rapid speed, we must do the "three things" well as per Master's requirement.
