I have been wondering what the worst part of the persecution against me has been during the past five years. Is it that I was deprived of my freedom and sent to prison? Was it when they inserted an electric baton into my month to torture me? Was it the economic pressures and heavy fines levied against me? Was it when I was forced to become homeless to escape further torment? Among all these, which is the worst?
As I was pondering this question, I thought that all of them were serious. However, after I shared my experiences with a Taiwanese practitioner yesterday, I was able to pinpoint the worst part of it: In addition to slandering Dafa and Dafa practitioners, the persecution forced me to lose the normal environment of group study and group exercises that I need.
Group study and exercises are forms that Teacher left us to improve our cultivation, and this is very important to me. In this environment I could be very diligent and the loss of it deeply influenced my Fa study and Xinxing(1) improvement.
While talking with her, my heart became at ease. I had been living in this suppressed environment of Mainland China for a long time, and I didn't realize how it had affected me. If a person is subjected to coercion every day he may lose awareness that he is being persecuted because he gets used to it. Only when the persecution stops will he realize how much he has been suppressed.
I tried to remember the times before 1999 and I suddenly realized that the present situation in Taiwan is similar to the way it was in Mainland China before the persecution started five years ago. It allowed me to understand the importance of that environment to me, and that in the past my views and thoughts were very different from what they are now.
In the present environment in China, we cannot share experiences with other practitioners, and we must be careful while accessing the Falun Gong websites, printing articles and even going shopping. Compared with Taiwan, our environment is very inhibited. We have to turn the Dafa music to low volume and study the Fa on our own initiative.
In this oppressive environment, our practitioners cannot study in groups and share experiences with each other, causing a lack of information. When we encounter problems and hardships, some of us cannot enlighten in time and stay at the same level for a long time, sometimes even finding excuses in Teacher's Fa for our lack of advancement. In this general environment, even practitioners who used to be diligent find it difficult to improve.
After talking with this fellow practitioner, I felt I gained a lot. I hope that Dafa practitioners outside of China share their experiences with fellow practitioners in Mainland China who have taken the wrong path by calling them. It would surely be of great help. You do not even have to talk about profound principles; your friendly tone of voice, your righteous belief in the Fa, and your approach to problems would encourage the practitioners in Mainland China, and may change their thoughts and understandings amidst their hardships. Remember that your words carry energy.
Note:
(1) heart or mind nature, moral character
