Shared at 2004 Chicago Falun Dafa Conference
(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings honorable Teacher!
Greetings fellow practitioners!
My name is Li Zhizhang, and I'm 58 years old. Beginning when I was a child, I continually took medicine and was always sick. Counting only the illnesses in my chest cavity, I had lobar pneumonia, chest cavity inflammation, and very serious hydrothorax. At one time, doctors extracted 1,200 milliliters of fluids from my lungs. Afterwards, I developed a tumor in my lung. So the doctors removed my lung in order to remove the tumor. I was a well-known chronic invalid, a young, long-term patient. Then, after I had a sudden heart attack, I became a Falun Dafa practitioner.
During my several years of practice, it was our Teacher's merciful hands that guided me up to today. However, I was like a mischievous child, who would pause once in a while, chase butterflies, and kick the pebbles on the roadside. This happened precisely when I was not diligent in my cultivation. Like such a child, I staggered along and then moved on. Before the Chicago experience sharing conference, a local practitioner asked me to write about my experiences of stepping forward to clarify the truth. This is an honor, and also an opportunity to look back on my cultivation path. I know that everything I have is given by Teacher and Dafa. My shallow understanding was obtained through cultivation in Dafa. Each of my advancements shows the manifestation of Dafa on my body. I understand that writing down my own experiences is also validating Dafa, and an opportunity for me to further improve in my cultivation.
First, let me introduce myself. I am not married, which means that I am relatively free of family obligations and human sentiments. Many years ago, I accompanied my mother on a visit to the U.S. to see my younger brother's family. Neither of us had visas yet, so we applied together. Being unmarried, these two statuses fell perfectly into the category of "having an immigration tendency" …quot; the most common reason that visa applications are rejected. However, to everyone's amazement, I was granted a visa the first time I applied, and soon came to America. Afterward, I also got my green card without any problems. In 1999, using my limited English, I passed the citizenship test, and became an American citizen. My American friends were astonished. People thought that I got all these just because of luck; nothing but luck. But I clearly knew that it was pre-destined. After I started to cultivate, it was even clearer to me that Teacher arranged all these situations. Hence, I have been able to go to Geneva five times in the five years between 2000 and 2004. In addition, it has also been possible for me to take part in large-scale Fa-rectification activities, such as those in Germany, Russia, Iceland, and Paris, because I have fewer obstacles preventing frequent travel than many others.
Why do I want to participate in these activities so frequently? To answer that, I have to take you back to the New York Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference in 1998. During that conference, I sat on the carpet in front of the platform. When Teacher answered practitioners' questions, several times after reading the questions, Teacher said, "Study the Fa, study the Fa." Afterwards, when Teacher was still reading the question, I whispered, "Study the Fa." When Teacher replied again, "Study the Fa," I couldn't help but giggle. Then Teacher said, "I just told you to read the book more, but actually, you might not necessarily understand the inner meaning of what I just said."("Falun Buddha Fa, Lecture at the First Conference in North America") Teacher also said something else. At that moment, I felt that Teacher was talking about me.
At that time, I indeed did not understand the importance of Fa study. Since Teacher had several times emphasized practicing outside and continually studying the Fa, I needed to do what Teacher said. By then, my mother had gone to New Zealand with my younger brother's family. My own housework was extremely simple. Therefore, every day, besides going to work, all I did was practice, study the Fa, and watch Teacher's lecture videos. Then, in 1999, Jiang's regime started to persecute Falun Gong. This persecution disrupted my cultivation life. Now, in retrospect, I understand the real implications of why Teacher asked us to constantly study the Fa. Obviously, it was during that period of studying the Fa with no pursuit that I had built a solid foundation. That was why whenever I needed to go out of town to participate in activities, I usually had no hesitation at all, because the side of me that has obtained the Fa is clear. The enlightened natural disposition automatically knows what to do. I am a particle of Dafa. When there were large-scale Dafa activities that required Dafa disciples to participate, I knew what I should do. It was as natural to me as breathing. From the beginning, when the rumor spread that Jiang's regime intended to extradite Teacher back to China, I went to Washington DC with some other practitioners to express my concerns and tell the facts to the Chinese embassy. After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I repeatedly went to Washington DC, New York, and Chicago, and I also went to Salt Lake City and President Bush's ranch in Texas, etc.
How was I able to manage my time so that I could participate in all of these activities? First, during those years, I used all of my vacation hours to participate in Dafa activities. Most often, I would participate on weekends. Usually, I would leave Friday evenings after work, and come back Sunday evenings after the activities. On Mondays, I would still go to work on time. As to completing my own duties at work, before leaving I would do a lot of preparatory work, so that others wouldn't be inconvenienced. In the meantime, I would clearly tell my department head where I was going and what I was going to do, in order to obtain understanding and support.
Moreover, I took advantage of the other benefits that my company offered. For example, the company has a rule: If a family member is sick, is in a serious accident, or goes back to one's native country, we are permitted to have extended, non-paid time off. But it won't be counted as an absence. I used it twice: for the SOS walk, and to go to Russia and Iceland. When I went to request leave for the urgent rescue walk, I wrote on the application the reasons why I needed to participate in the walk, and the situation in China. When the man from human resources told me that there had never been a case like this before, I told him that the persecution of Falun Gong was a significant incident in my life. The walk to rescue practitioners was more important than a family member's sicknesses. The manager of human resources was still a little unwilling to give me permission, and said that I had to get the department head's permission. Because I was so determined, I was all prepared on Sunday morning. I even had my hair cut short so that it would be easier for me to walk without the hassle of taking care of it. On Monday morning, I went to talk with the personnel manager. Seeing that I had already had my hair cut, he was a little surprised, and said, "You are ready to go?!" I said, "Yes. Of course." I clearly explained the situation to the department head, so then he signed, allowing me to leave. On Tuesday, we started the 20-day SOS walk. From this experience, I realized as long as the truth is clarified and our will is firm, when it conforms to everyday people's principles, we can use those conditions and accomplish what appears to be difficult.
Actually, whether one can step forward or not depends on our own thoughts. One of our local practitioners has two young children and her husband is not a practitioner. When I shared my experience of going to Geneva and Europe with her, she told me that she also wanted to go to Geneva. Immediately, her husband began having back pain, and her children had high fevers. She called me and said, "Ms. Li, leaving is really difficult now. How can I deal with this situation?" I reminded her that it was all because of interference, and was only the representation on the surface. I also told her to strengthen her desire to go. Shortly, her husband's back pain and the children's fevers disappeared. And furthermore, he even supported her in going to Geneva. But by then, the airplane ticket price had gone up to more than $800. That evening, she called again and asked what if it costs too much. I told her that it all depended on her herself; whether she was sincere, and determined to go. If she wholeheartedly meant to go, there must be some way. Hearing this, she cried out on the phone, "I really want to go, even if it costs me $1,000." Because of her righteous thought, when she finally bought her ticket it only cost $500. It was even cheaper than the one I had purchased earlier. She only needed to leave one day earlier. This arrangement actually was very good, because by arriving there a day earlier, she was able to join the activities with practitioners from other nations. Afterward, she told me that because she had decided to go, she learned many things. Through this experience, she had really achieved a lot.
The above discusses how I stepped forward to clarify the truth. Now I will talk about my progress in cultivation. I want to start from the SOS urgent rescue walk three years ago, because that was when I truly gave up my self-centeredness. Four of us walked the entire journey. One was a western practitioner, and the other three were Chinese practitioners. I was the oldest. When we began the trek, I was out of shape. Specifically, I had no experience walking long distances, so I ended up walking very slowly. When my stubbornness was added into the mix, many conflicts occurred. It is true that too many attachments cause restrictions. We were not familiar with one another. The Chinese practitioners were poor English speakers, so our communication was not smooth. Added to that, the weather was burning hot, there were occasional thunderstorms, and we were constantly behind schedule, and trying to catch up so we could participate in press conferences. I was not only suffering physically, but I also suffered in my heart. At that time, I had an audio player with me and I listened to Teacher's lectures while walking. Teacher said, "...only by emphasizing xinxing cultivation can your gong increase and your level be upgraded." (Zhuan Falun) As I eliminated more attachments, my body changed daily. In the beginning, I had to use a walking stick, and my feet ached with each step. But by about the third day, I was able to discard the walking stick. On the fifth and sixth days, my speed slowly improved, and I gradually caught up with the group's walking speed. After ten days, things were vastly different. My body and mind were all in good condition, and my steps were lighter. I did not eat much, and neither did I need much sleep. After days of exhaustion my spirit soared; every step brought me closer to Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance. Through that period of conflicts, my own changes corresponded with everyone looking inside ourselves, and the overall situation took on a new look. First the Chinese practitioners spoke less in Chinese, and although they struggled, they used simple English sentences to communicate in order to eliminate the barrier between the Chinese and Western practitioners. The only Western practitioner was also the spokesperson and the contact person. We called him our "team leader," or "head." After we got to know one another well, our attachments were eliminated, and the relations also became harmonious.
We started from Cincinnati, heading across the southern tip of Ohio, and walked to Cleveland in the northern side, for about 360 miles. We held total of 23 large and small-scale press conferences along the way. We felt like we were sowing machines, spreading the seeds of Dafa to people. Our images of enduring the hardship of a long journey, the wavering small yellow flag carried on our backpack, and the SOS banners, all left deep impressions on the residents along our journey. Twenty day's walk created too many moving stories. I once wrote: "Thoughts along the SOS walk":
Our journey began every morning as the sun rose, and we continued into the night when the clouds and stars were our only companions. We Dafa disciples are carrying a huge historical responsibility, climbing the mountains, walking through towns, clarifying the truth, and delivering the blessing message of Dafa.
Each flyer passed out to the people showed our benevolent hearts, traveling in the human world to assist Teacher for the Fa rectification, sending forth righteous thoughts, and eliminating evils. With a few people walking on the countryside road, oftentimes we heard cheering honks from drivers as cars passed by.
Waving our hands and gladly greeting them, savable beings awaken from the dream. There is no way to express our gratitude to Teacher except to feel his enormous compassion.
Before I began cultivation, I had pain and illness everywhere except for my hair. After cultivating in Falun Dafa, I was able to finish this 20-day journey. This was my best way to validate Dafa. Everyone who knew my past, and saw my pictures, instantly knew the truth of Dafa, since I looked so healthy, strong, and energetic in the photos. By the way, my mother moved to the U.S. to live with me at the end of 2000. After seeing the changes in me, she also became a Dafa practitioner. During the 20-day SOS journey, as mother and daughter, we passed xinxing tribulations at the same time. I improved both physically and mentally, letting go of so much of my strong-willed personality. When my mother was home alone, she endured the hard test of loneliness. The elderly woman says the reason that she has lived to be 80 is because she has been waiting to attain Dafa. We feel so happy that as mother and daughter, we are blessed by Buddha's great compassion at the same time.
Regarding going to Geneva, Germany, Russia, Iceland, and Paris to participate in Fa rectification activities, many fellow practitioners have shared very nice experiences. Here I would like to talk from a personal perspective about how I let go my attachments. Through decades of leading the life of a single person, I formed some habits. For example, I didn't like other people touching my bed, let alone sitting or sleeping in my bed. I needed a very quiet environment to sleep, and I didn't allow other people to enter my bedroom. Therefore once I began traveling, I ran into some tribulations. I recall the first time I attended a Falun Dafa experience sharing conference; I shared a bed with another practitioner. I lay there quietly the whole night, neither moving, nor sleeping a bit. After I attended more conferences, I started to get used to this kind of situation. Last time, when I went to Germany, in order to send forth righteous thoughts in close proximity, we moved back and forth between two places. One day, because we had limited time, we were not able to arrange for a place to spend the night. So a few hundred of us had to stay in a gym, where we were only allowed to enter after midnight, and had to leave before 5:00 a.m. Easterners and Westerners, male and female, elders and youngsters, all stayed together, we could only lay on the floor with our clothes on to rest for a few hours. At the time, I really didn't know how to deal with that kind of situation. I sat there for quite a while, and then I asked myself what if I were a wandering monk, what would I do? So I grit my teeth and closed my eyes, finally lying down to sleep. When we were in Russia, over a hundred people stayed at a small art school, and intensively sent forth righteous thoughts for four days without leaving the building. Apart from sending righteous thoughts, all we did were the exercises and Fa study. When we were really tired, we simply found a place to lie down. We ate only instant noodles and cookies provided by Russian practitioners. My normal daily routine was completely disrupted, and I couldn't take care of any of the things I would normally be particular about. Since my name was on the blacklist provided by the Chinese government, I was rejected from entering Iceland, so I participated in a sit-in at the Paris airport overnight to protest. All these activities totally changed me. Now, whenever I feel tired, I can fall asleep even in my chair in front of the computer. This was absolutely inconceivable before I began my Falun Dafa cultivation.
In the past, I always followed other fellow practitioners when I went abroad. I relied on them, and therefore did not need to take care of anything myself. This spring when I went to Paris, I had to go around by myself after two fellow practitioners left. Fortunately, on the flight to Paris, I had read Teacher's "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference" twice. Teacher said, "...if you don't possess that kind of mighty virtue, haven't blazed your own path, and don't know what to do when you need to do things independently, that won't do. So I have deliberately given you this period of time, so that you can have opportunities to temper yourselves and become mature." Thank you, Teacher, for giving me this opportunity. I stayed at a place by myself. However, I did not encounter any communication problems, even though I don't speak French. I have learned how to solve problems independently without relying on others, and I arranged my own itinerary for all Fa-rectification activities while in Paris, including going to the Second World War Museum with Spanish practitioners. There was an annual attorneys meeting there, and we clarified the truth to them.
The last story I would like to share with you is from my trip to Russia. I just mentioned staying at the art school in Russia. A practitioner from Washington DC and I taught Russian practitioners to sing the song "Falun Dafa Hao." Both the practitioners who learned the song and those who taught the song were very focused. Our different languages did not hinder our communication. One glance, one gesture, and one smile brought our hearts closer. We sang the song "Falun Dafa Hao" until the next morning. The living conditions of the local Russian practitioners are poor, but they still do their best to save some money to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and save people. They really admired North American practitioners who are able to see Teacher frequently. We invited them to come to an experience sharing conference in the U.S. Tears streamed down their faces and they said, "We would really love to, but we don't have the money. What little money we have must be used for printing Dafa materials!" All of us could feel their pure hearts. On our last day in Russia, Russian police stopped twelve foreign practitioners and four local practitioners from distributing Dafa truth-clarifying newspapers. The police asked us to put down the newspapers and leave. Of course, the Russian practitioners refused. As a result, we were all taken to the police station. First, they checked our passports. Twelve of us had American passports and one of us had a British passport. After checking a few passports, the police simply asked us, "Who here carries Chinese passports?" Upon hearing this, I could not holdback my tears any longer: "Dear compassionate Teacher, before our departure, you told us those who have Chinese passports should not go to Russia. You cherish us more than we cherish ourselves!" After the police left the room, we shared our thoughts briefly and reached the conclusion, that since we are here, we must validate Dafa and eradicate all the evil forces. We all sat down on the floor and started sending forth righteous thoughts. Immediately, the energy field became very strong. Inside the room, it was calm. The policemen outside the room were amazed by our tranquility, calmness, and kindness. What a group of people! They neither cry nor protest. Although they are elderly and cannot speak Russian, they are not afraid of anything, and just sit there motionless. One policeman came in and said, "We will let you leave if you symbolically turn in some penalty fees, just a few American coins if the fines are exchanged into U.S. dollars. We all said that we would not give them any money. Falun Gong is a legal organization in Russia, and we did not break any laws. Since we did not pay any fines, they did not know how to release us. Later, they asked us to go to court. At court, every practitioner said Falun Dafa is good. If we have another opportunity to come to Russia, we will still say Falun Dafa is good. The practitioner who spoke first in the court had an excellent opening speech. She said, "Falun Dafa is really good. Falun Dafa teaches people to be good and improves peoples' health and morality. I have benefited a lot from Dafa. There is an old Chinese saying, that ‘If you receive a drop of help, you should return the favor with a running spring.' I will tell people the beauty of Falun Dafa wherever I go. If you don't believe me, it is all written in the newspaper." Then, she put the newspapers in front of the judge, police officials, translator, and a secretary. In the end, the judge said, "This case needs to be treated as an exception. You do not need to stay here, and you can take your newspapers with you." Some practitioners wanted to take photos in the court carrying the big bundle of the newspapers. The judge also agreed. What a great arrangement! We, a group of ordinary senior-aged Dafa practitioners, were able to clarify the truth about Dafa in the Russian police station and court. Before we left the court, we gave many Dafa bookmarks to the policemen. They were all very pleased to accept them. Again I witnessed the mighty power of Dafa.
Whenever I participate in Dafa activities, I always see aspects where other practitioners did better in cultivation than I did. In this way, I can discover my own shortcomings that need to be improved. I know that my ability is very limited. All I can do is hold the banners, send forth righteous thoughts, do Falun Gong exercises, and distribute flyers. Now, every second is precious. Each trivial thing within Fa-Rectification looks very ordinary, but in the other dimensions it must be very spectacular and magnificent. Each opportunity will pass without coming back. Thank you, Teacher, for bringing me out of hell and gradually cleansing me. Thank you, Teacher, for selecting me and leading me on the path of Fa-Rectification cultivation up to today. Using all the words in heaven and earth, I cannot describe your immense compassion.
Please point out anything inappropriate in my speech. Thank you Teacher! Thank you everyone!
