(Clearwisdom.net) During the four and one-half years since July 20 1999, we have grown a lot. We have gone from confusion to steadfastness. We have matured and moved from personal cultivation to cultivation during the Fa-rectification period. Every Dafa practitioner is making progress, both in China and overseas. We have achieved a lot. With the grand mercy of Teacher and the power of the Fa, many people have become more aware of the persecution. The truth of Dafa has taken root in the hearts of sentient beings. However, in the over fifteen hundred days since the persecution began, attachments to fatigue and numbness has gradually become evident.
As an example, for a long time now, I have considered myself to be very wise and have taken a lot of pride in it. Over the last one and one-half years, some significant incidents took place in our area that caused damage to our local Dafa work. We then became over cautious in doing Dafa work. It was much like the monks that Teacher mentioned, being afraid to step on an ant while walking. Although, from time to time, we hear talk of brainwashing classes, there haven't been any held for a while. Encouraged by this, we became even more cautious. We didn't want to run any risks while doing Dafa work.
When I look back at the things that have happened during these years, I suddenly noticed that I have unknowingly developed fatigue and a sense of numbness in doing Dafa work! This type of fatigue is not obvious, because we are still studying the Fa and doing the exercises every day. However, it is not something manifested on the surface. It is from the heart! I started to pay attention to how to do things well on the human level. I tended to drift with the tide on many issues and didn't take the initiative to do anything. If there was no one taking the lead, even if I thought about it, I would prefer not to do it. I would mechanically repeat the same work, just like city-dwellers following the same routine every day. I wouldn't hold a major Dafa activity or a Fa conference because that would be dangerous. I wouldn't share my experiences with fellow practitioners because that would also be dangerous. My mindset became more like non-practitioners, but I didn't see it. Instead I held that I was "wise" and "prudent".
After discovering this attachment, I started to look around at my fellow practitioners. I found it was not only me that had developed this fatigue and numbness! When they heard that a practitioner was tortured to death, they wouldn't pay much attention to it and just murmur something like, "It is so evil!" They didn't feel as sad and regretful as before. Also when they received new Dafa materials, they didn't seem as happy and excited as in the past.
True, we didn't make any major mistakes during this period. Is that truly a good thing? In this last six months, how much progress have we made? What have we accomplished in the Fa-validation work in our city? How many sentient beings have understood the truth through our truth-clarification? Have we really kept abreast with the pace of Fa rectification? Did we do it this way solely for the purpose of avoiding arrest? Our purpose shouldn't be just to avoid arrest. Our purpose is to participate in the Fa-validation process, to allow more people to understand the truth, and to allow them to learn the fundamental truth. But what is our current situation? Have we reached that point? No, we haven't. At least we haven't fully done what we should have done. Being over-cautious and paying too much attention to our human sides over the last half-year, we almost didn't do any truth-clarification work. We used a tired heart and numbness to do some Dafa work the way non-practitioners would get through their routine work week. How can this save sentient beings? How could doing Dafa work like this move people's hearts? Our strength is from Dafa. Without Dafa, we would be no different than non-practitioners.
Of course, I am not saying that there is no need to pay attention to our human side and safety. What I am trying to say is that Dafa is the most important. As long as we hold in our minds the wish to do well in our Dafa work and to better save sentient beings, paying attention to our human side issues and being cautious are good.
In fact, the Fa encompasses everything. It is harmonious and boundless. If we can truly melt into the Fa, our human side will be naturally safe and indestructible.
January 14, 2004
