(Clearwisdom.net)
At the end of 2002, the Gansu provincial television station broadcasted reports of my "transformation" at the first provincial labor camp. However, this was another piece of fabricated propaganda to try to justify the persecution of Dafa disciples. I would like to explain the circumstances behind these reports so that people everywhere will become aware of the truth.
I attained the Fa when I was in college in Lanzhou City, Gansu Province, in 1997. In 1999 I graduated and returned home to join the workforce. Soon afterwards, the persecution of Dafa began. I went to Beijing twice to appeal on behalf of Falun Gong. After the second trip I left my home and stayed in Lanzhou to clarify the truth until my eventual arrest on August 17, 2001.
At that time I was renting a place in Xigu. I left my Fa study group and because of that, I began to harbor some human attachments. I was severely interfered with by attachments like sentimentality, laziness when it came to Fa-study and exercise, and wanting things to be easy and safe. The police already had me under surveillance, and Master had given hints to me about the potential danger. However, my human attachments and selfishness were already very deeply rooted, and I was unable to realize my situation. Only after my arrest, being in the detention center and and later in the labor transformation hospital, did I finally enlighten to what righteous actions and thinking meant. Still, I had many shortcomings but I was not able to recognize them. My attachment of zealotry and being proud and conceited arose. The persecutors then transferred me to a labor camp for even more severe abuse. When we first arrived at the labor camp, I went on a hunger strike. However, because of the even more brutal torture at the labor camp, I could not withstand it, and the hunger strike failed. I was afraid that under the persecution and torture, I would not be able to endure. Since I did not study the Fa diligently, my righteous thoughts deteriorated, and I slowly began accepting the evil's arrangements. I wanted to be "law abiding" so that I could get out of the labor camp. So I had less and less words and began to concentrate on working. I wanted to use the fatigue of labor to forget all the unlawful detention and persecution I have endured. I wanted to use it to make my suffering feel less painful. However, this type of thinking increased my persecution. Because of my deteriorating righteous thoughts, I made many mistakes. I have enlightened to the fact that only Fa study, righteous thoughts and Buddha nature can help a Dafa disciple pass tribulations in an evil environment. There is no other way. Even one human attachment can make you fall, leaving you with deep regret.
In March 2002, the evil began an even more ruthless campaign of persecution against Dafa disciples. Police squad captain Hu Xiangxian was the leading persecutor of Dafa in Gansu Province. He even received an award in Beijing for persecuting Falun Gong practitioners. He orders Dafa disciples into his office, and using excuses like disobeying orders, he punches and kicks them at the same time, often exploding into savage beatings. Afterwards, he hangs up the Dafa disciple or ties them into a very uncomfortable position. With their backs against the wall and in a sitting position, Dafa disciples are tortured for long hours. On the night of March 18, 2002, they called me in for a "discussion." When I first entered the room, I saw that all the squad captains were present. A long hemp rope was on the ground. Two captains did not want to participate and walked out of the room. Hu Xiangxian and another captain named Wang Xuxing started to curse at and interrogate me. They ordered me to repeat the labor camp rules and regulations. I wouldn't do it. They ordered me to put the top of my head against the wall, but I didn't move. Two policemen came at me with punches and kicks. They grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the wall. When I did not make a sound, they were furious. They yelled, "Tie her up, tie her up." They then grabbed me and used the hemp rope to tie me up. I tried my best to struggle, trying hard not to put both of my hands against my back. They tried for a long time and yet still did not succeed. It was at that time when a thought emerged, "This is their turf, there's no use struggling." So I gave up and they tied my hands behind my back. They then tightly secured the rope along my back. I did not feel any pain at that point. Then they made some other people tie me to the upper berth of the steel bed, still trying to force me to recite the rules and regulations of the labor camp. I started to recite them. My back, hands and forearms started to ache. Soon sweat drops the size of beans began to drip from my forehead. Not long after, there was no more sweat, just heart-rending pain. I endured the pain and recited the labor camp rules and regulations, yet they did not even pay attention to it. Now I realize that this wasn't the evil's goal at all. I should have recited the Fa. Only the Fa could help me pass the tribulation. I just couldn't stand the pain any longer. I thought that even if I die, I wouldn't cause any losses for Dafa or leave stains of myself. So I banged my head against the side of the steel bed, opening a huge cut. This type of thinking and action was wrong. We should follow the teachings of Dafa, and we should not think about ourselves or suicide under any circumstances. The guards ordered the drug addicts to hang me up to an even higher level. With my toes nearly touching the ground, I could not support myself. Half an hour later they put a stool to support my feet. A few moments later they took it away. Just like this, my life was in the balance, as I was hanging there for the whole night.
The second day, they tied me to a steel bed in a very painful position. My hands were tied firmly to a far away place. My hips were near the side of the bed, while my body was forced to arch back. They didn't let me down until the night, at which point I collapsed. After that ordeal, I was transformed against my will. After this, because of my mental state was on the edge of collapse, the thought karma then filled my head with bad thoughts about myself. Again and again, I was persecuted to the point of self-destruction. So I wrote and said those terrible words. I was made into a "model" and even went on television. When the evil ordered me to try to "transform" other people, I refused.
After my release, the persecutors in my area did not let up. They would not let me have a peaceful working and living environment. However, no matter what, from the bottom of my heart I say this: Falun Dafa is a righteous practice. Falun Gong teaches people to become good people, I am still following these principles to be a good person. Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance are good, and Master Li is innocent of all the bad things the authorities in China say about him. One year ago, I broke through the obstructions and began searching for the Fa again. I have finally walked back to a righteous road. I will cherish Master's compassion, think and behave with righteous thoughts and cultivate until the very end.