(Clearwisdom.net) I learned about Falun Dafa in a detention center at the beginning of 2000. I hesitate to say that I am a practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. I am not sure if I am worthy of the title.
I was a person full of karma. I believe my selfishness and desire for revenge led to my confinement at the detention center. At the detention center I got to know many practitioners. Their compassion, forbearance, and righteousness, their not striking back when beaten and not swearing when sworn at moved my heart. I also learned to tolerate and care about other people. Finally I decided to cultivate Falun Dafa, a chance that comes but once in a millennium. A precious book Zhuan Falun was sent to the detention center, and I read it with great eagerness. After I read just one chapter, I felt a Falun rotating in my abdomen. Afterwards I also obtained Teacher's book HongYin and learned it totally by heart. Thinking back over the ten years before, I realized that all I had cared about was business and all I had thought about was money. Every day I had dealt with others in a calculating manner and had never spent one relaxing day. I had always wanted to acquire things, but instead I had harmed myself and almost broke up with my husband.
There were several other people at the detention center who decided to practice Falun Dafa. Because of the lack of books, each night a fellow practitioner would read one chapter while the new practitioners along with veteran practitioners listened. In the morning we learned HongYin by heart together. One new practitioner from Anhui Province never had any schooling, but she learned HongYin totally by heart and wrote the poems from memory. It is the miracle of Dafa. I also made a copy of Zhuan Falun. Later on the prison police found out about our Fa-study. The police came to question me and an 18-year-old girl. They shouted at the girl. Maybe due to my righteous thoughts, I didn't fear them, and I held my head up and looked right at them. Because I was confident that I was doing the most righteous things, righteousness was reflected in my body language. The policewoman didn't dare to look at me. I looked at her and said, "Policewoman, I want to talk with you." She said, "Talk to you later." She never back came to see me.
When I was indicted, our cell leader looked through the indictment and checked it against the criminal law. He thought that my case was very serious and I might be sentenced to over ten years. At that time my heart was full of anxiety. I was so stressed out that I couldn't eat well. An experienced practitioner said, "When you let go of your human heart, everything can be changed. Everything is illusion. These events will pass away after a few days." At that moment I thought, "I have already obtained Falun Dafa. What's there to be afraid of?" Then I didn't think about my case anymore, and I used all my time to study the Fa. Soon the miracle happened. The verdict in my case was reached and I was "sentenced" to go home. All the people in the cell were shocked and happy for me. Another inmate being judged at the same time was sentenced to imprisonment for life. This was because she slandered practitioners. The police let her read the newspaper slandering Falun Dafa. The practitioners had told her not to read it, that it was not good for her. But she didn't listen to them and still read it. She also tormented practitioners and didn't allow them to talk together. Her misfortunes reflected the battle between righteousness and evil and the manifestation that good is rewarded with good and evil is met with evil.
After I got back home, with the help of Teacher I found fellow practitioners and also participated in a small Fa conference with about 20 people. One practitioner gave me the precious book Zhuan Falun, another gave me the exercise music, and others taught me to do the exercises. In the difficult environment of China, I had everything I needed to cultivate. It was Teacher's arrangement for me. I was so moved that I could say nothing but, "Thank you." Because I obtained Dafa late and didn't go through a personal cultivation, becoming a practitioner in Fa-rectification time, I felt pressed for time. Teacher has been pulling me upwards, and everyday there are things happening to let me improve my xinxing.(heart or mind nature, moral character) Everyday I must study the Fa and do the exercises. If I didn't do the exercise one day, I felt that I had let Teacher down and let myself down.
Many times, however, I didn't pass the xinxing tests very well. When conflicts arose, I always found faults with others.
After failing many of the tests I came to a critical point. I forced myself to calm down and to not think about anything and to put aside my work of running a company. I began to study the Fa at home and even to learn the Fa by heart. In fact I was trying to escape the conflicts. I thought that I was being diligent by studying the Fa, doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. But I conformed to the old force's arrangements, which left me in a state of personal cultivation.
During this time I felt my health decline a great deal. I usually felt so light that I wanted to run while walking. But now I felt a lack of energy and couldn't eat. I still thought I was eliminating karma, and I didn't recognize the old forces' way of persecution. I just passively endured it. In the beginning, I didn't pay any attention to it, and I always thought, "How could a practitioner have diseases?" I didn't see where I was wrong, and I didn't look inwards since I thought I was correct. Several months passed, until one day I couldn't stand it anymore and my husband sent me to the hospital. After an examination, the doctor said that I was suffering from leukemia. This situation resulted from my not acting according to Teacher's words. Many fellow practitioners came to the hospital to see me and care for me. I finally left the hospital, but my non-practitioner husband and sister were upset at my condition and they wanted me to go back to the hospital for bone marrow replacement therapy. I believed it was not right for me to go to the hospital. I wanted to live a good and proper life. I still had many things to do in my life to save sentient beings.
Fellow practitioners came to my home to help me root out my omissions and attachments. One practitioner said that I didn't properly understand the relationship between personal cultivation and Fa-rectification cultivation. I was still following a personal cultivation path and didn't follow the requirements of the Fa-rectification. Therefore, I was being taken advantage of by the evil forces and didn't meet the standard for practitioners in the Fa-rectification time. I calmed myself and tried not to think about my disease. I read Teacher's Guiding the Voyage and lectures from around the world. I suddenly understood what the old forces are and the great importance of assisting Teacher in Fa-rectification.
This time I really understood the old forces and the arrangements of the old forces. How could I just pass away like this during such a critical period of great Fa-rectification ? I must escape the ties of the old forces and follow Teacher to save more sentient beings. That is the historic mission that Teacher gave me. I am Teacher's disciple and I only follow Teacher's words. I even told other people, "Dafa practitioners have nothing to fear and will not suffer illness." Through this lesson I learned that this was my hidden attachment of showing off and zealotry. Teacher said that everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of our thoughts. The dark minions in other dimensions created the tribulations for me according to my own attachments. I furthermore realized the seriousness of Fa-rectification cultivation. Fa-rectification cultivation is not a trifling matter. The path of Fa-rectification is very narrow and doesn't allow for deviation.
Once I let go of my fear and other attachments, the environment changed right away. My health recovered, and the conflicts became fewer. My heart was raised to an incredible realm. I could study the Fa, do the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts and distribute truth-clarifying materials. But I had obstacles clarifying the truth face to face. I always felt hampered by my lack of education, and I couldn't speak well. This is actually due to my old notions and a lack of Fa-study. I knew I could overcome it. I first clarified the truth to my neighbors, friends and relatives. Gradually I became more confident and better at speaking. I deeply felt the urgency of saving sentient beings.
Now in my cultivation I treat all employees with compassion and try to help them in their work and lives. My company's economic performance improves each month. Moreover the personal relationships within my company are harmonious. Although I have no earth-shattering Fa-rectification experiences to share, this is an expression from my heart after raising my xinxing. I must find all my attachments and root them out. I must follow the path of Fa-rectification.
