(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings Master. Greetings fellow Dafa Disciples.
I. My first step forward: Polishing articles for a Dafa website
I began practicing Falun Dafa in April of 2000. It took me a few months to realize what Fa-rectification was and why it was important for me to be a part of it, but I did not know how to get involved. I began to develop some anxiety in my heart about it. I attended several local events and even some major large group events to clarify the truth, but I still did not feel that I had overcome my fear. I did not feel that I had completely stepped forward. Being a part of large events was no problem for me. The journey itself was fun and I was able to blend in with the crowd of practitioners and could follow their lead if there was something I did not know how to do. I also did not have too much difficulty passing out flyers or talking with people. So it was not until I began polishing articles for a Dafa website that I felt I truly began to step forward. In doing this I was facing some of my deepest fears: inadequacy and criticism from others. From this first step until today, Master has arranged many opportunities for me to cultivate away these attachments, and, of course, the process continues.
What helped me take that step forward was not a personal pursuit or forcing myself to get involved despite my fears, but it was the encouragement I felt when I first saw Master at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in December 2000. Now, five years later, sometimes I still have to remember that this is not work, but cultivation and that all of my strength and all of the answers come from the Fa. Every time I start to feel overwhelmed and everything becomes difficult, it is because I did not make Fa study a priority.
II. Realizing the importance of what we are doing
During the past five years I have been amazed at the things practitioners have been able to accomplish in order to more comprehensively clarify the truth and save sentient beings. Master said,
"Certain things appear to be the same as what everyday people do. Yet they do those things for self-interest and for ordinary human purposes, whereas you do them for Dafa--the basis is different. You are cultivators, and in the future you will see the magnificence of these things. There's sacredness in them that you know now and sacredness in them that you don't know." ("Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America")
A few years ago a high school student told me that she wanted to do the exercises in front of her school each morning, so I offered to join her. We experienced a wide range of reactions, from sincere curiosity and respect to adolescent ridicule. Both the young practitioner and I felt that what we were doing was very important and was harmonizing the environment. On September 11, the day of the terrorist attack in New York, the young practitioner told me she would not be able to come the following day because she had an early exam. I told her I would still go there to do the exercises without her; however, when I heard about the terrorist attack later that day, all sorts of fears filled my mind. I worried they would see me and Falun Gong as "foreign." I worried that the students would be on edge and would perhaps vent their anger on me. I almost did not go, but finally I realized that these fears were not righteous and that I should go there as planned. As I stood there doing the exercises alone, at one point a student did begin to tease me a little. But then I heard another student reprimand him for doing so. I'll never forget her words: "Don't make fun of her. You don't know the importance of what she is doing!" I was astounded by this teenager's insight and I was reminded once again that we must keep the sacredness of what we are doing in our minds at all times.
Feedback I have been given on my work for the website is that sometimes I do well and other times I fail to catch a lot of errors. I know that when I have the importance of what I am doing in my mind and I place my full attention on it, this is the difference between a well-polished article and an article that still needs a lot more work.
I will continue to strive to do better and to fulfill my role. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity to participate with the work of maintaining Dafa websites. As time is getting shorter and our goal quickly approaches, I often remind myself to cherish this precious time. Master said,
"When today's Dafa disciples are able to do well with what they're supposed to do, and are able to make it through these few years that are full of trials and tribulations, in the future you will see everything. Cherish it. Cherish it! You must cherish the part of the journey that you've already completed, and you have to do well with what's left ahead, too." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference")
Thank you.
