(Clearwisdom.net) When I was little, I knew that teachers are respectable. However, I met quite a few exceptions during the Cultural Revolution and gradually my respect for teachers weakened. Later I read Lao Tsu's Tao Te Ching and Buddha Sakyamuni's Fa. I understood that they had taught the highest principles in the human dimension. What they taught actually existed before they were born and were the Dao and the Fa independent of the person who taught it. Besides, they only taught the part they comprehended and were enlightened to.
After obtaining the Fa, especially after memorizing "Lunyu," [statement of comments prefacing the book, Zhuan Falun, the main teachings of Falun Dafa] I have understood that what Master has taught us is the most fundamental Dao and the true Fa of the universe. As Master's Fa lectures became more profound, I also came to understand that, without Master, there would have been nothing in the universe because the Fa of the universe is created by Master. Based on this, when we address Master as "Teacher" or "Venerable Master," it does not clearly explain our relationship with Master. The first Chinese character of the word Master, "shi" (means "teacher"), seems to have a completely different meaning from the "shi" (teacher) we have used before. When I heard people say that they only study the Fa, but do not respect Master, I felt it was very inconceivable. I later heard a Dafa practitioner say that his favorite phrase is "take the Fa as your teacher." I was wondering what does that statement mean. Then I learned that this practitioner's life was almost taken away by the old forces a few times. I intuitively thought it had something to do with what he had said because his mind was not that pure and righteous when he said that.
I remember a story in the Bible about a prostitute named Mary Magdalene. After listening to Jesus, Mary Magdalene was very sad about the sins she had committed and she could not help but weep at Jesus' feet. Her tears fell on Jesus' feet and she used her mouth to kiss away the tears. Other people detested her and wanted to drive her away. Jesus said, "Who can be as sincere as this woman, using her tears to wash my feet and her mouth to kiss my feet?" Of course! Those of us who have committed acts of karma, no matter what we do, cannot repay the lifesaver who scooped us up out of Hell.
Although I understood all these teachings when I my main consciousness was clear, I felt extremely uneasy in my heart because even after 4 or 5 years of practice, I still called those strangers in my dreams "Master." I did not even pass the test of "no second cultivation way." I was really bothered by this. Often, I did not dare to look at Master's picture at that time because I sometimes had disrespectful thoughts about Teacher. After I understood that that came from the interference of the old forces and thought karma, I consciously wanted to eliminate this interference and the situation improved significantly.
In the Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference Teacher talks about some practitioners being confused by the illusions arranged by the old forces and that they almost stepped onto an evil path on the issue of respecting Master and the Fa. I realized that it is not easy for practitioners to practice with the celestial eye open because they can be destroyed with one unrighteous thought. However, I thought I was treating the issue of respecting Teacher and the Fa correctly. Later Teacher commented on a few articles regarding respecting Teacher and the Fa. I just read through it quickly twice and did not pay much attention to it. Recently, something suddenly happened around me that exposed all of my attachments, and I realized that I was so far away from being a true Dafa practitioner. I came to see clearly that, to a certain extent, I was the kind of person who seemed very righteous on the outside but was full of garbage inside. I asked myself, "I practice back and forth, but what have I practiced?"
Looking deeper, I found the root of the problem. My biggest weakness was not being able to have a deeper understanding on the issue of respecting Teacher and the Fa. Am I qualified as a practitioner while not believing what Master said, not listening to Master's words and not behaving according to Teacher's requirements?
We all recognized in our practice that "I," "selfishness," and "myself" are the shells most difficult to break through. I remember that before 2001, no matter how hard I tried, there was always a partition between me and Dafa that excluded me and kept me outside of Dafa. In a big parade in Brussels, I suddenly felt a stream of force help me to break this partition. When walking in the parade, my eyes welled up with tears. But recently, I again subtly felt this small but hard shell wrapping me inside it and preventing me from really melting into the Fa. What is it that makes it so hard to get rid of this shell of "self?"
Then, one day I went back to read the practitioners' articles regarding respecting Teacher and the Fa. I realized that between Master's teachings and our self-recognition, under the human notions, we lean more toward the latter unconsciously. It is like throwing a piece of wood into a pot of molten steel and this piece of wood does not want to let itself disappear and wants to preserve something about itself. This is one of the reasons why it is hard for us to enhance our level.
After properly settling the relationship between Teacher and myself and reading the Dafa books again, I felt that I was reading while on my knees. Every word Master said projected directly inside my heart and melted away the last bit of the stubborn shell.
As for what I feel the most in my practice, it is Teacher's immense Buddha grace.
This is my experience from my practice. Please correct the improper points.
