Shared at the 2003 Washington DC Falun Dafa Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) I am 24 years old and I come from Finland. I started the cultivation practice of Falun Dafa about 2 years ago.
Before knowing about Dafa, I thought the meaning of life was to go back to one's origin and go back to the truth, but I did not know how. I studied different practices and teachings, almost anything I could get my hands on, in order to look for the right teaching and method. However, it seemed to me all of them either had something missing or something added. Mixing them together felt like making a mess out of things. It was really hard to start practicing anything, and start cultivating, because I didn't have fundamental guidance. I felt disappointed. At the same time I had drifted along with the current and developed unhealthy habits, I ran after my desires and I was also using drugs. Even though I knew that I was damaging my mind and body, I still could not give up my bad behaviors. The concept of good and bad was very unclear for me at that time. My situation felt worse and I started to grow apart from society, and after a while I didn't even read about things that were related to practicing cultivation. One day I got a book called Falun Gong from my friend, who had started to practice this method. I had heard some discussion about the book Zhuan Falun before and knew there were high-level principles in it. My friend displayed determination and righteousness in his actions, and I thought that this must be something special. I started to read the book, and what I understood from it, this made me want to read more. A little later, I got Zhuan Falun. Every time I read Zhuan Falun, I had a feeling of relief and lightness and I wanted to learn more. I didn't read anything other than Falun Gong and Zhuan Falun. My understanding about myself and the world changed a lot, and I noticed more clearly my own shortcomings and weaknesses. The sense of right and wrong, good and bad became much more clear as I read Zhuan Falun again and again. I knew in my heart that this was the only way in the world today to go back to one's origin and to reach Consummation.
My friend asked me later to come to a fair where some practitioners were coming from Sweden to demonstrate Falun Dafa. It was, at the same time, a chance for me to correct my exercises, so that I could practice by myself more confidently. That weekend was a turning point in my life. I decided to start cultivation in Dafa and study the Fa everyday. Smoking, alcohol and drugs were left behind in one day and I felt like I was reborn, like I woke up from the mist where I had been lost for ages. My parents, who had been very worried about me before, also saw the positive changes in me. Before, I hardly ever spent time with my parents and was out of the house every night. Now I was spending most of my time at home and my relationship with my parents improved a lot. I said to my mother, "You will never again see me using any drugs because I am a Falun Gong practitioner and I will try to be a good person from now on."
At the same time that I started my cultivation practice, the evil had started the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners in China. I couldn't believe they could persecute people who only strived to be good by following Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance. My life had changed into a better one because of Dafa. I felt light and my mind was purified from many bad thoughts, and now people were being tortured and killed for this in China! As I read about practitioners being persecuted in China, the urgency of doing something to help grew in my heart.
My cultivation naturally led to the point where I needed to start doing Fa- rectification. How could I just practice on my own here when, at the same time, most of the Dafa-disciples were under evil persecution in China? I started to practice the exercises in different places with small information boards so that people could know more about Dafa and the situation in China. At the same time I needed to give up many different notions and attachments. The first time for me to step forward was when I went to collect signatures and give out flyers. Because there was no other practitioner around, I needed to break through the blockade in my mind and really step forward to validate the Fa in the human world. The first time I gave a flyer to a passerby in the street, I felt like a big stone had been lifted off of me and my mind was suddenly clear and more determined. On cold winter days I went to give out flyers to people and even when my fingers were frozen, I continued to pass them out.
My cultivation state had risen and I understood the meaning of stepping forward to do Fa-rectification. Even when I just delivered flyers, wrote letters or had a "Falun Dafa" button on my shirt, I felt how my cultivation went forward more rapidly and I could see my attachments more and more clearly. Teacher says in Essentials for Further Advancement II, "Path": "For a Dafa-disciple, safeguarding and upholding the Fa is only natural." In the beginning I really needed to cultivate myself and study the Fa so that I could attain the desired state of doing things naturally, because many human emotions and notions were blocking me. Daily Fa-study strengthened my righteous thoughts and helped me to overcome the obstacles.
When 36 western Dafa-disciples went to Tiananmen Square to validate the Fa, I was encouraged to fulfill my own wish to go to China. The day before going to Tiananmen the police suddenly crashed in to our hostel room. My heart was not firm enough and the feelings of fear came into my mind. The evil took advantage of this big loophole and arrested us and we couldn't make it to the square. I experienced how the police were deceived by the lies, and how we needed to make more effort saving these innocent Chinese people. Falun Dafa is the most precious, and Chinese people cannot lose this chance because of our mistakes. I thought that all I can do is to cultivate better and do better work in clarifying the truth.
When the head of the evil was visiting Russia and the Baltic countries last summer, many practitioners from all around the world came to send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth to people. Many went to Russia and Baltic countries through Finland. I faxed many invitations to practitioners so that they could get a visa more easily. Some couldn't get a visa to Russia, so they stayed in Finland to send forth righteous thoughts 24 hours a day. Since there are not many practitioners in Finland, we tried our best to make the arrangements better. I picked up people from the airport, helped them to find the right trains and buses and places to stay. Most of the people couldn't speak English and they had never been to Finland before. I was very busy going to the airport many times everyday, sending faxes and guiding people. The things I did were very simple for me. Perhaps my simple role was still necessary for these practitioners, and I was an important particle in the whole body. During this time I also understood more deeply that sending forth righteous thoughts is very important.
Last year, when the president of Finland was going to China for a state visit, we wrote letters and sent some material to her, asking her to bring up the issue of the persecution of Falun Gong with the Chinese authorities. A Chinese practitioner in Finland also wrote a personal letter to her because our president was going to visit the Forest Academy, where this Chinese practitioner had worked before.
We had some expectations for her to bring up the Falun Gong issue, because she has always been very supportive for human rights. Because of our expectations, our president said during her visit that the human rights situation in China had improved. We were very surprised. I looked inside and saw that I was waiting for help from an everyday person in order to have the persecution ended. We cannot put hope in everyday people, because then our thoughts are not righteous. My thinking was wrong and I had to abandon that. After coming to a new understanding, things began to change. Many Finnish people criticized the statement of our President, especially Finnish parliament members who had just sent an appeal to Jiang Zemin asking him to stop the suppression of Falun Gong practitioners. Soon afterwards, our President made a new statement and said that her statement before was not correct, and she apologized for her improper words.
While doing Fa-rectification work I sometimes did them like an everyday person was doing his work. I made the same mistake many times, and so many times I fell down into regret and got up again. Cultivating myself was overshadowed by the Fa-rectification work, and I was struggling with the same human attachments that I had already given up, and there were lots of impure thoughts coming into my mind. Sometimes I even followed these thoughts and I felt that I was not even worthy of calling myself a cultivator. Fa-rectification work felt heavy and the results were not good. The notion of cultivating in Fa-rectification gradually had been an excuse for me in my practice and I failed to pay attention to raising my Xinxing.
While studying the Fa, I felt the compassion of our Teacher and the requirements of the Fa. I realized that I could not keep repeating the same mistakes again. I understood that I absolutely cannot give ground in cultivating my Xinxing, and the first and most important thing is to cultivate oneself well. Every time I study the Fa, bad thoughts are eliminated and righteous thoughts are strengthened, and every small thing that I do carries stronger and purer energy. After realizing this I came quickly to a state in which clarifying the truth and sending forth righteous thoughts was much more powerful.
In Finland there are not many practitioners and only half of us speak English. I have felt it to be my responsibility to translate Teacher's articles and lectures into Finnish so that we can all have a better understanding of the Fa. After one year of my cultivation I moved from my hometown to the capital of Finland, because there were no practitioners doing Fa-rectification there. Because it is very important for a country's government to know the truth of Dafa, I started to contact ministers and members from the parliament and meet them personally.
It was another step forward for me in the Fa-rectification, for I didn't have any experience meeting with government officials before. In the beginning I had some thoughts about these official's rank, and it made me little bit nervous. The results were always good when I just had the thought of wanting the best for them and saving these people without any pursuit in my mind. I learned that every personal meeting is better than hundred letters or e-mails because in the personal meeting people come into straight contact with Dafa and they can feel and see that Dafa is good. With a righteous heart, I think everybody is able to clarify the truth to government officials.
I have attended three Fa-conferences, and each of them has really helped me become more diligent in my cultivation. Teacher says in Essentials for Further Advancement, "Environment," "...lofty conduct that Dafa disciples have established in this environment--including every word and every deed--can make people recognize their own weaknesses and identify their shortcomings; it can move their hearts, refine their conduct, and enable them to make progress more rapidly." My understanding is that it is extremely important that we don't forget to cultivate ourselves while doing Fa-rectification work. No matter how busy we might be, we should not slack off in studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. We should also compassionately encourage practitioners who have fallen behind. In this way, Fa-rectification will be done more effectively. I hope that we can be more compassionate towards our fellow practitioners, encourage each other to progress with diligence and cooperate better in order to fulfill our historic mission as Dafa disciples.
I want to end by reading our Teacher's poem, "In Harmony with the Fa."
The Buddha light illuminates everywhere, Propriety and justice rectify and harmonize everything. Strive forward together, A bright future lies ahead.
