There Are Opportunities to Improve Xinxing Everywhere While Validating the Fa
My heart was very touched after listening to fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles during the recent experience sharing conference in New York. I understood in a new way that cultivation could not be judged by the surface appearance. Instead, with righteous faith in Dafa, during one's validating the Fa continuously and quietly, during the Fa-rectification everything of an enlightened being is established.
During this New York Fa-conference, Teacher said, "But some students should look inside their own minds and think about how well they've actually done. You are such a magnificent being during the Fa-rectification period, but how well have you really done?" On the way back, I kept thinking this: as a practitioner who obtained the Fa several years ago, during my cultivation and validating the Fa, how I have been acting after all? Of course, on the surface, I have been more or less doing the three things Teacher asked: studying the Fa, clarifying the truth, and sending forth righteous thoughts. Sometimes, I felt myself have done pretty well, especially when comparing to what I did in the past, or using fellow practitioners' attachments to make excuses for myself. On the other hand, sometimes when I encountered problems and was unable to find a way out, I often had a feeling of hopelessness and letting it be. In fact, now it is the time for me to calm down and think about this clear-mindedly. To be honest, how exactly have I been acting? Are there things that I should have done but did not do? What are the reasons behind them? And, what attachments of mine are exposed throughout these? How can I improve so that, in the future, I could do better on these or similar things?1. Cooperating with Fellow Practitioners
Once, there was something that needed to be coordinated, and practitioner A started to work on it. After sending two or three emails to everyone, however, there was not one single response. Soon afterwards, practitioner A asked me if I would like to help. I thought, although I was already very busy, I could not remain unconcerned. So I decided to do it. In order to handle it well, I emailed my understanding and plan to several practitioners, including practitioner B who usually works on this particular issue, but I did not receive any feedback either. Later, after the weekend group Fa-study, practitioner B said she would look after the issue. At that moment, my heart was disturbed: why didn't she discuss this with practitioner A and myself before now? After the group discussion was over, I asked practitioner B about something else, thinking I would also like to share with her the combined understandings of many practitioners about these issues. However, practitioner B simply said one or two sentences, and did not want to continue talking as I had expected. Therefore, the complaints in my mind grew bigger.
On the way back home, I was still thinking about it. After a while, it came to my mind that I needed to look within. When I tried to consider this thing from practitioner B's perspective, I found my earlier negative thoughts were all narrow-minded, selfish and groundless. Practitioner B had handled such things many times, and needless to say, she was the best coordinator for it. Plus, while already being very busy on many different things, she still decided to coordinate this. Her decision was on the basis of being responsible for the Fa, for fellow practitioners, and to get this thing done well. In contrast, if I were to coordinate on this, there was actually some practical difficulty. Of course, the previous efforts of practitioner A and I were also aiming to get this done well, and there was nothing wrong with it. However, when things did not proceed as I expected, rather than acting in a positive way, I had many complaints about fellow practitioners that served to protect my own narrow-minded ideas. This attachment was indeed a very big one. In fact, by calming down, one could see fellow practitioner' precious heart for Dafa, that is, making the decision to help out despite being very busy on many things. At that moment, what I should do was to see things from a larger scope, and to harmonize things. In Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A., Teacher said, "... they look at what the end result of the other God's proposed approach will be. The paths are different--everyone's path is different--and the truths that beings validate and enlighten to in the Fa are different, too, but the results might very well be the same. That's why they look at the results, and if the result of a God's idea can achieve the goal, if it can truly achieve it, then all of them will go along with it. That's how Gods think. Also, if there's something lacking in it they'll unconditionally and quietly supplement it to make things more complete and perfect. That's how they handle things." When reading this part of the Fa in the past, I had some understandings. Now, when actually involved in such a situation, I found myself failing to handle it in that way.
From this, I thought about some of the things experienced in other Dafa projects, and had further understandings. Sometimes, when feeling things did not fit into my idea, I often had some negative thoughts. Although I may not share it or show it to others, there was actually plenty of unhappiness in my heart. As a result, I tended not to cooperate, whether intentionally or not. And sometimes, I even went against it. Let me give an example.
During one Dafa project I have been involved in, it required me to work together with several practitioners in another state. According to the mutually agreed upon plan, after spending much effort, I prepared lots of news materials. However, several weeks had passed, and those practitioners were still unable to reach an agreement on how to do this project, or even whether to do it at all. After learning this, I was very frustrated. As everyone knows, news material is time sensitive. If the material I had prepared were not put into use right away, they would soon be useless. At that moment, I thought, seems none of you have done anything with it, and it did not help to push you. All right, I will not work on it, either. Who cares what will it be like? After all, without this, I have many other truth-clarification things to do anyway. Later, through calming down and studying the Fa, I realized my previous thoughts were not correct. In fact, I was not aware of the other practitioners' exact situations and practical difficulty. Plus, their considerations and planning were also aiming to get it done well. If, everyone were like me--giving up when encountering a little misunderstanding or confusion, where would that leave the project? Take as a metaphor: the project is a boat and the practitioners who are working on it are paddling the boat. If, when an obstacle appeared I reversed my paddles to go in the opposite direction, what loss would it cause? If everyone were like me, how could we move forward, let alone arrive at any destination. Looking at things from a larger scope, if there were several people like me in each project, what would be the result? Thinking of this, I really felt guilty. Thus, I gained a deeper understanding of what it means to do well in all the things we should do.2. Handling Matters of Work and Life Well
For quite a long time, due to my poor understanding of the Fa, I neglected my everyday work and life. Compared to Dafa work, they appeared rather insignificant. As a result, I ran into problems at my working environment as well as in family life. With these manifestations as a lesson, and through studying the Fa, I came to understand these issues more thoroughly. In fact, in cultivating "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance," we should always consider others first. Ordinary people are not practitioners. We should consider their perspectives, and try our best to let them understand our words and actions. For example, for my boss at work, if I failed to do my job well, or was unable to get along well with colleagues, it would cause problems for him. At home, it is also my responsibility to care for my wife and do more household chores. Therefore, we should do all these well in an open and noble manner. By reading Teacher's recent lectures in Los Angeles and New York, I had some further understanding. That is, what we do now is actually establishing a path for human beings to cultivate into Gods. This path could be a reference for future human beings. If we go to extremes when handling some things and create unnecessary problems, supposing future human beings will cultivate by following us as examples, what additional tribulations are we now creating for them? On the other hand, we are walking the path of validating the Fa as Dafa disciples; therefore we must take every step righteously and truly meet Dafa's requirements.3. Our Own Cultivation State Will Affect Other Practitioners
On one Saturday afternoon before group study and sending forth righteous thoughts, I had some things to handle related to my everyday work. Although they did not necessarily have to be done at that time, and I also considered the possibility that doing it may delay group sending forth righteous thoughts, I still decided to do it after some hesitation. As it turned out, it took up more than the one hour that I had allotted. When arriving at the practitioner's home in a hurry, other practitioners had already finished Fa-study and started the group discussion. However, for me, I was still very upset and felt guilty about missing Fa-study, so I took out my Dafa book and began to study myself. As a result, I did not hear other practitioners' discussion, nor was I able to study the Fa. Time went by in vain. Moreover, other practitioners might think I was strange for not participating, which could have affected their discussion. Therefore, when we handle something well, it will have a positive effect on other practitioners; when we handle things improperly, not only will it mess up our own things, it will also negatively affect other practitioners. Thus, when considering things, we really need to regard the Fa as the utmost priority. Also, when something undesirable happens, we should not just lie there blaming ourselves; instead, we need to keep a clear-mind and always try our best to turn things into a good situation at all times. Otherwise, our attachments will be taken advantage of, and the outcome could become worse and worse.4. We Can Never Be Too Engrossed
One time, our group discussion was going very well at the practice site, and I also had a very good feeling about myself. Unnoticeably, an attachment arose in me. I thought to myself: "I have cultivated so well." After returning home, however, my wife complained at me. Failing to pay attention to Xinxing, I began to argue with her, which soon became a big quarrel. Afterwards, I understood I needed to think clearheadedly. Just by feeling a little good about myself, I had become complacent. In fact, I still have a lot of improvement to make in cultivation. Even if there are things that I have done a bit well, it is the manifestation of Dafa's power. Teacher said,
"Whatever you have enlightened to in Dafa is no more than a tiny portion of the Fa's principles at a certain level within the boundless Fa's principles." (Falun Dafa--Essentials For Further Advancement)
Thinking of the things I did poorly again and again, and the places failing to meet Dafa's requirements, I was able to see many of my existing attachments--whether noticeable to me or not--and the difficult way in front of me. When my mind is not clear, I forget the mission of Dafa disciples, forget Teacher's compassionate and arduous saving of us, and forget the urgency of saving other beings. Cultivation is indeed very serious. In my understanding, it is like climbing up a very steep mountain. No matter how much effort you have put in, and no matter how high you have reached, you may forget where to go when you slack off. When your mind is not clear, you could be in danger. By stepping on a slippery place, and loosening your hands, you may fall down to the bottom regardless how high you are already at. Therefore, no matter if our state is good or bad, we should already keep in mind to regard the Fa as the utmost importance. Let us remember what Teacher said,
"I made this trip just for the sake of sentient beings." (New Year's Greetings to Dafa Disciples in 2003)
Being able to cultivate in Dafa, we are already very fortunate. It is an even more supreme honor for us, during the unprecedented Fa-rectification period, to follow Teacher in the Fa-rectification and save sentient beings. Teacher has already given us everything that is necessary. Now it is up to us whether or not we can do things well, and truly take every step well.
This is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anywhere that is improper.