Before obtaining the Fa I had the nickname "Sick man of East Asia." I contracted almost every severe or slight flu and recovered slower than others. During that time, for years, I was preparing for law exams for Taiwan. While working, while studying, while minding others' expectations of me, I had to endure the physical pain coming from sickness. It was unspeakable bitterness.
I wondered during that time in my life when I could find true happiness and real relief. All my efforts and expectations were spent on my exam. I quit my job. Bearing such a commitment, however, I still failed. By then I knew nothing about destiny of life, pre-destination or the relationship between virtue and karma, all because my life was in a maze. I felt God was unfair to me. After I failed in applying ordinary people's means, I started to seek help from psychics and other worldly side path practices, in order to gain fame.
When I was 33 years old, a woman fortune-teller said I would not live longer than perhaps 37 or 38 years. Even though I was told I had the luck of being a government official, I pondered, faced with a fading life, what fame and money I could go after. Suddenly, I entered a hopeless state of mind. Human beings are lost and very fragile. At that time, it seemed there was no way out. Because, without inner strength and a spiritual foundation, it would be impossible for one to see through everything about life.
At that moment, a friend introduced me to Zhuan Falun. In Chapter 7 in the section regarding Jealousy, the book says,
"Therefore, what one does in life is not arranged based on one's abilities. Buddhism believes in the principle of karmic retribution. One's life is arranged according to one's karma."
"An ordinary person cannot see this point and always believes that he should do exactly what he is able to. Therefore, he competes and fights all his life with a badly wounded heart. He might feel very bitter and tired, always finding things unfair." (Zhuan Falun, Chapter 7, Jealousy)
After reading the book, I suddenly saw the light and felt that it talked about me. Now, I see things very clear. Gradually I let go of a deep-rooted attachment to fame and money, and I naturally do good work at my present job.
Right now, Dafa has made me a healthy person. I am no longer the "Sick man of East Asia." But most importantly, I understand how one should live his life, why man is alive. Today I am truly joyful and feel the significance of my present mission and responsibility. I also know the importance for myself, because of the greatness and importance of our origin and responsibility. We bear the historical mission of saving beings. Why? Because we are the Dafa disciples of the Fa-rectification period.
Clarifying the truth over the phone
In "Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference, July 22, 2002," Teacher said,
"This is why each Dafa disciple needs to realize the importance of clarifying the truth. This, more than anything, is what you should do with all your effort, and it's the most magnificent. The salvation of sentient beings and the consummation of cosmic bodies that correspond to you are all part of this. Every single Dafa disciple needs to do this. Don't miss a single opportunity."
As the process of Fa-rectification carries forward, from Teacher's lessons, I came to learn the urgency of clarifying the truth and saving beings. Therefore, I participated in some Dafa work, for instance, telephone related work.
Telephoning is a very convenient, fast method of clarifying the truth, sometimes without any restriction of regions. For instance, while being outside, if convenient, I can find a quiet place to first purify my thoughts, and then make a call from my cell phone.
Once, when I was calling a policeman who persecuted Dafa practitioners, he was not at home. His daughter picked up the phone. She was a university student of English and didn't believe her father's involvement in the persecution. I said that I would not make up stories - we practiced Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I wanted to tell your father not to do this, because it was not right. I said, "I can mail the materials to you, then you will understand." To my surprise she agreed. I immediately prepared all materials I had on hand and mailed them to her. That was my first time mailing materials at the other party's request. I felt an energy flowing through me, from the top down. I knew it was encouragement from Teacher.
Now Taiwan has established its telephone team and formed an environment with more fellow practitioners participating in it and together doing our best for the Fa-rectification of the universe. Their precious, moving and great experience has an effect for our joint improvement. For example, a fellow practitioner called ten times. The other party hung up on him ten times. Surprisingly in the end, they became friends, despite the fact that they never met in person. Another practitioner, after the person hung up on him several times, continued to call a bureau chief from a public security. Finally the other side said that the mobile charge is too expense, "please call me at home number." He was willing to hear the truth. A different practitioner, after the other side cursed him, still explained with a compassionate heart, because he knows this is salvation, not merely an issue of a person-to-person conversation. When some practitioners call, the whole family on the other side would come to the phone to listen, one after another.
I feel many people want to clarify the truth through the telephone, but sometimes I hear fellow practitioners say things like, "do not call during Chinese New Year," afraid to destroy the holiday spirit. Others give up after calling many numbers that are not in service. Some say, "I am not good at talking," or, "I only call in the countryside rather than public security bureaus; too late to call (of course, we shall be a good person and it's necessary to comply with everyday people's work and rest.); or too busy to call," and others. Sometimes it is due to a kind consideration, or perhaps a state of individual cultivation, but then, it may have another reason. This kind of reason I have experienced before, where all might be notions, caused by our fear and attachment.
Teacher said in "Lecture at the Conference in Switzerland (1998,"
"The more scared you are, the more its effect on you. You have to conquer it with willpower--this is a matter of your willpower. This needs to be accomplished in your cultivation, as well." I think fear would make us detour; because of fear, we would comply with old evil force's thinking.
I understand that Fa-rectification is both for truth-clarification and cultivation practice. The two is inseparable. In the past I would think to myself that, if after I dial five times the number is not in service I give up; could I then still hold righteous thoughts to look at my conscience and see if I have any omission that caused the interference, calm down and study the Fa or send forth righteous thoughts? If I dialed three times, I am either ignored or responded to with a curse, could I still hold a kind heart and face it at the fourth call? Could I realize it is not an aroused explanation, but saving his very life?
Now I can do better than before, even though I still cannot reach absolute serenity and a joyful state, I want to do better. I know that the only way to do this is to study the Fa, because Fa can consolidate our righteous thoughts.
If every bit of my thoughts can realize that I am offering salvation to beings and understand things from Fa's point of view, then I will do it well for sure. My state of mind would change the environment and more beings would be saved. The evil would not stop me and it would run out of tricks. The power of Fa will manifest and it would be mighty.
The telephone or any other method of clarifying the truth reflects xinxing tests through which we accomplish our mission and establish our greatness. Sometimes, if the opposite side hangs up, I dial again, hang up again, and repeat the process. I sense if there is no immediate result, but it would restrain the evil in others dimensions. Just like Teacher says in "Touring North America to Teach the Fa,"
"Don't underestimate your sending even one flyer or one booklet to China, making one phone call, or sending one fax or sending all sorts of information--the effect is quite significant, and its effect in frightening and eliminating the evil is huge, truly huge."
One time, when I didn't make phone calls for days, I started to think about it in the morning but still hadn't made any till that afternoon. I could have done anything at that time, but I didn't felt like making phone calls. I knew that I was not in the right state; my Buddha-nature was struggling with my demon-nature. Finally I came to a point about three meters away from the telephone. I started to have all kinds of thoughts, so much so, I felt uneasy in my heart. But I knew that I must walk to the telephone. I started to have righteous thoughts; nothing could stand in my way. Holding my righteous thoughts, I finally walked over and made the call, where the other side responded positively.
Another example - I called a city in Helongjiang Province. The mayor was not in. A man picked up the phone. He was in doubt, but speaking kindly. I tried my best to explain to him the truth in detail. Sometimes, when that man talked about things not related to truth clarifying, I would still kindly accord with his view. I knew these people were misled by the outrageous lies and think that we were not good, but through my direct conversation with him, he would know and ponder that we were not the same as the slanderous media has portrayed us. Because he would feel my compassion; this is validating the Fa. He spoke to me of many concerns. Even though he didn't understand Dafa completely, at least he said, "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance should not be opposed by any nation or individual."
I found every practitioner could clarify the truth well. No matter if they speak just a few sentences, or simply "Falun Dafa is good", or a song, or talk in detail, they are all good. Because our hearts are with the Fa, because we have Fa in us, because we face the real evil, Fa is opening our wisdom to clarify the truth. Only in accordance with the Fa can we abolish lies; otherwise, we can easily fall into the mode of thinking of the old evil force.
Along the path of making phone calls, I experienced many emotions, from not daring, retreating, being nervous, being afraid, stammering, to a relative smooth and steady effort today. Certainly, things along the way were done well or done not so well. When I do well I would remind myself not to have any attachment of zealotry or display the show-off mentality, otherwise it would be easily taken advantage of by the evil and affect our efforts of saving beings. Where things are not done so great, I could regard it as chance to raise my xinxing.
Sometimes there are many calls to make. I haven't yet finished calling some numbers and new numbers arrive, to be called. Other times, the call doesn't go through. Then I think I should dial again, but with such limited time and so many numbers, so many lives need to be saved, I stare at the phone, feeling uncomfortable. I tell myself that from now on, I will try to finish every phone number assigned to me. Because they are lives with pre-destined relationship with me, and they are beings waiting to be saved.
Every Dafa job is solemn and serious, because we are doing it for the purpose of protecting the Fa and validating the Fa. I tell myself to keep letting go of my attachments and become an awakening, pure and diamond-like Dafa being.
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