(Clearwisdom.net) On October 8th, 2003, the article "Let Go of Self and Assimilate to Dafa" by a practitioner conveyed the words in my heart. Combined with my own cultivation experiences, I would like to share some of my own understanding.
Master said in the article "Position" (Essentials for Further Advancement I):
"Human beings are just human beings. At critical moments it is hard for them to let go of their human notions, but they always try to find excuses to convince themselves. A magnificent cultivator, on the other hand, is able to let go of his Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials."
Whenever I am at a loss in the process of assisting Master in Fa-rectification, I think about this paragraph and I can always find the righteous direction and path.
On July 22nd, 1999, after my return from going to the provincial government to appeal, I was interrogated by the local police till midnight and bailed out by my work unit. After resting for about two hours, I decided to practice the exercises in the park in the morning like before the persecution started and wanted to find other practitioners to go with me. I called our assistant and he said, "We had better not go out now; let's wait until the situation and atmosphere settle down." I went to find other practitioners and some of them had the same thought. Some even urged me not to go. I was in despair and understood somewhat why we could be persecuted: We were so selfish that when Dafa and Master were experiencing danger and slander, our very first thoughts were to protect ourselves.
Early on the morning of the second day, I said to my wife, "I will go to the park to practice the exercises by myself. No matter what others think, I have to do it because I will be killed by my own conscience if I do not go out to practice the exercises." My wife cried to me and said, "Please, do not go, there is nothing that the Party cannot do to you. If I cannot get to see you even when you are alive or get to see your corpse if you are dead, how can I take care of myself?" I still decided to go out to practice. I thought it was very possible that this was the day on which my wife and I would part forever, and I was thinking that this might be the last day to see my wife. I had not thought of returning to her alive, neither had I wanted to let Master protect me. I was thinking that some Dafa disciples must step forward at this moment. If we all maintained silence, wasn't it the same as tacitly accepting the rumors and false charges fabricated by the evil against Dafa and Master?
As usual, I sat down in the center of the park. The only difference was that I did not have the cushion pad and the tape recorder because I did not plan to go back. I started to practice the sitting meditation exercises, Shentong Jiachi Fa (Strenghthening Divine Powers), and my legs crossed in the double lotus position were hurting the same as usual. I gradually calmed myself down. I just intented to let people see that Dafa disciples were not affected and swayed by propaganda on TV. When I opened my eyes once again, I was already surrounded by plainclothes policemen. After one day passed, I was at the local police station again. When the police interrogated me, I imagined that many practitioners would come to the local police station to give me support. The scene I was hoping for did not appear and I felt alone at that moment. At 9:00a.m., I was again bailed out by the supervisor of my work unit.
At that time I did not fully understand what was meant by "Validating Dafa " and "Stepping Forward." All I had was my heart that I was Master's disciple and I should do what I did. I simply wanted to tell people that I was not influenced and swayed by what the government had said, because my understanding towards Master and Dafa at that time was: Dafa created the universe as well as everything in the universe, and Master created this Dafa. So the truth is that Master created everything. Based on this understanding, when everyday people told me that "we were taking an egg to hit a stone", I told them that "We are the stone and they are the egg."
In June 2001, I went to a small city in a province where Master gave two lectures in the neighboring area. The persecution in this area was very serious and bad. This area did not have the information and literature from Minghui net (the Chinese Clearwisdom.net) and urgently needed a materials production site. The deputy head of police department who was responsible for arresting Dafa disciples in that area was extremely cruel, and the measures he used to treat Dafa disciples were extremely vicious. At that time Master had just published the two articles: "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful" and "Teaching the Fa at the 2001 Canada Fa Conference." Before long, Master published another Fa-rectification formula, which is "fa zheng tian di, xian shi xian bao" (the Fa (Fa) rectifies (zheng) Heaven (tian) and Earth (di); immediate (xian) retribution (bao) in this lifetime (shi).). Up until now, I have been practicing cultivation in a completely locked state. But it was very strange that one day that I saw the images of Buddhas and humans all over the body of Master's photo on the computer screen. I was very excited and whispered to myself, "Master manifests all of these to encourage you to do a better job in clarifying the truth; you have to be brave, and you have to determinedly believe in Dafa." My understanding at that time was: For a disciple who determinedly believes in Dafa, there is no need to see any godlike manifestations, therefore I was thinking that the degree of my firm belief in Dafa was insufficient.
One day a fellow practitioner told me, "There is a banner slandering Dafa in front of a hotel." I asked, "Why don't you take it down?" He answered, "That is a trap for Dafa practitioners." I was not concerned that much, and another practitioner and I immediately went to that hotel with two sets of scissors in our hands. It was about 5:00 pm, and there were several people around the banner. We each cut one side of the banner and I took it down in my hands. While waving to my fellow practitioner to get a taxi, I folded the banner up to take it away with me so that it would not deceive other people again. At that time several plain-clothes police rushed at me, two of them grabbed my arms and another one pointed his gun to my head. I recited the Fa-rectification formulas but nothing happened to them. It was rush hour and there were lots of people walking and riding bikes by the scene. I called out "Falun Dafa is good" again and again with all my energy, my voice turned hoarse from the strain of yelling those words.
It seemed to be arranged that I was taken to the office of the Police Department Deputy Head who was infamous for being vicious to Dafa practitioners. I did not think of letting him suffer immediate retribution in this life time no matter how viciously they beat me, tortured me, and even when he put his dirty smelly foot into my mouth. However, when he threw Master's portrait on the floor and stepped on it, I was upset and yelled at him, "You will suffer karmic retribution in one hour." They stopped torturing me. When they sent me to the detention center, he said, "It did not work, nothing happened to me." I ignored him.
Now that I understand the Fa more deeply, I realize that at that point of time, I was not rational and calm enough since I did not study the Fa well. However, my firm faith in Master made me give up my selfishness at that time. I did not have any concern as to whether I would achieve Consummation, what the outcome would be, nor was I afraid at all. Once when sharing experiences with fellow practitioners, I asked "You are afraid of losing your job, losing money, losing spouse and children, being sentenced to prison, aren't you afraid that Master is not offering you salvation?" I said, "I am not afraid of anything except for Master not offering me salvation. If Master gave up on me, then I have lost everything."
The purpose for my sharing the above two stories in my cultivation is to illustrate my personal understanding of what it means to let go of selfishness. In fact letting go selfishness does not mean losing oneself. On the contrary, it means finding one's true self, finding the true meaning of one's life. What does "obtaining the Tao" mean? To me, when I was affirmed by Master, when Master chose me, it meant I am one who has "obtained the Tao"; I am getting closer and closer to Master's requirements. When Master taught the Fa in Canada, I remember seeing a banner held by overseas fellow practitioners saying, "Master, we are following you." Such a plain sentence contained deep understandings of the Fa and Master.
What does Master mean to me? The answer is simple: everything, all the meaning of my life, all the efforts of returning to my true nature, and where I ultimately belong. In Master's eyes, my life was as small as a speck of dust in this universe. Not only me, even Kings of universes, or Lords of cosmoses are nothing in Master's eyes, Master chose us since he treasures what he created. I should be grateful for Master for my existence and for the fact that I can cultivate. I understood what Benevolence is when I melted into the Fa like a drop of water returned to the ocean; I realized what the Buddha's boundless grace is when I felt all the arrangements Master made for me to establish my mighty virtue. If one day I have any glory, I am just sharing Master's glory. I have nothing myself, it is Master who gave me everything. In return, what could I offer to Master? Present Master the gifts Master gave to me?
In fact, the only thing we can offer to Master is a pure heart after getting rid of all human attachments.
October 9, 2003
