(Clearwisdom.net)
Recently, several practitioners felt something was hard to understand: Why am I still so attached to this or that after a long period of practicing cultivation?
Some practitioners said that when there is a conflict, they know in their heart that they have some attachments to let go, but after a very long time they could not find the root of the attachments. Some practitioners also felt tired, slacked off a bit, and were less effective in doing work at the same time.
I have a similar understanding that during the latest period of cultivation practice, some notions and attachments that have not truly been let go have reemerged. It seems that we have let go of certain attachments, but now we see the emergence of deeper roots of those attachments.
Actually there is nothing to be anxious about, because these all are good things. Even at the last minute of one's cultivation, one still has attachments to let go of and this includes how firm and pure one's righteous belief is toward Teacher and Dafa, let alone other attachments such as jealousy, the competitive mentality, the mentality of doing things, and other attachments mentioned in Zhuan Falun.
During the later stages of cultivation, a practitioner should thoroughly clean the degenerated and contaminated matter from the old universe in all scopes of one's own space to truly achieve the purity and clearness required by the new universe.
On the other hand, it is possible that there is some interference in these cases. This is particularly true for those cases where a practitioner had some attachments that should have been let go a long time ago, but he or she did not want to admit them or did not truly take them seriously. In these situations, the evil behind-the-scenes helpers arranged by the old forces can take advantage of and enlarge the attachment to let you mistakenly think that those postnatal bad thoughts, bad notions, and bad habits are yourself, and make you feel that you have no alternative for improvement, and to passively accept it.
I notice that when there is a conflict, a practitioner immediately knows the requirements of the Fa. This is why a practitioner feels bad or uncomfortable with herself or himself. But if he or she simply blames himself or herself, and does not actually let go of the attachments, then the practitioner needs to search further inward, because blaming oneself is not equal to cultivating oneself.
The possible reasons for this procrastination are that the attachments exposed a conflict with one's self-image, or "face", or because one cannot let go of the attachment to proving that one is good. However, all these attachments cannot be taken with us into the new universe.
Speaking of "searching inward" and "unable to find the root causes," recently I have obtained some understanding in my Fa-study, that "searching inward" is "cultivating oneself," but is not for the sake of "searching" (I hope that I have clearly expressed my understanding).
In Teacher's lectures, "searching inward" and "cultivating inward" are mentioned. Most of the time, Teacher taught us to "search inward." But at the Fa-Conference in Canada in May, 1999, Teacher explained "cultivate inward." Teacher said,
"Cultivation practice is searching your inner self and discovering your own shortcomings, attachments and bad thoughts, as well as finding ways to cultivate better and to get rid of your bad thoughts. This is cultivation through searching your inner self." (unofficial translation --"Lecture at the Fa-Conference in Canada")
My understanding is that Teacher was teaching the same principle, because searching inward is not for the sake of searching inward. Searching is the path in the process and the objective of searching inward is to cultivate oneself. But because some of our notions limit our understanding of the Fa, oftentimes when experiencing conflicts, in particularly on a busy day, we will unknowingly regard searching as the goal.
So we search inward a little, and when we cannot find the root attachment, we then take the attitude of "I will deal with it later." This in fact results in nothing being fundamentally corrected or changed. Or after searching inward, one still feels that he or she is right and others are wrong. He or she even find words or sentences in the Fa to back up their feeling that they are right and that others are wrong. At this point, this practitioner considers that he or she has completed the task of cultivation (regarding cultivation as a "job to get done" and applying the mentality of "doing things" to handle the "three tasks").
Actually, under these conditions these practitioners cannot be considered as truly practicing cultivation, because when one truly and sincerely cultivates oneself, one will identify one's own attachments in the process of Fa-study.
This is because all Dafa disciples are being taken care of and are watched by Teacher's Fashen. If you want to cultivate yourself, would Teacher not take care of you? (This also involves the issue of righteous belief in Teacher and the Fa.)
On the contrary, if one has tried to search inward and not found any root attachments, this itself should be enough to urge a practitioner to become more serious and to calmly and diligently cultivate inward.
In general, this is a result of the mentality of Fa-study being something "routine" and considering oneself well cultivated, because these two states will prevent a practitioner from learning the Fa during one's Fa-study.
Teacher said that the two reasons why doing cultivation exercises doesn't increase your gong are:
"You have no way to cultivate if you don't know the Law at high levels, and if you don't cultivate inward, if you don't cultivate your character, your gong won't increase." (Zhuan Falun)
When a practitioner cannot truly learn the Fa in his heart and mind, then that practitioner does not have the Fa of higher levels to guide his cultivation. Under this situation, it will not work to talk about upgrading one's xinxing, mind nature, or virtue.
Similar conflicts could continue to manifest for this practitioner. In fact this is precisely to urge the practitioner to upgrade his or her xinxing by searching and cultivating inward.
