(Clearwisdom.net)
I obtained the Fa in 2001. Fellow practitioners asked me to draw pictures for a special event to be held on April 25. Time was pressing, so they hoped that I could help them. At the time I didn't even know what "April 25" was, or what the persecution was about. Yet I promised to help them. While drawing the pictures, my understanding of China's phony propaganda, of the evil's persecution, and of the importance of Fa-rectification increased.
Fellow practitioners invited me to learn computer editing. Because it was summer vacation, I couldn't find an excuse to say no. I started learning the one thing I was terrible at, namely, the computer. When I attended computer classes in school, my teachers had to go over things for me five or six times, and I still couldn't understand them. Even so, I was able to learn how to use two sets of different editing software in a computer editing class within a week. I was able to edit something and make it work--I know this was due to Dafa opening up my wisdom.
Don't Emotionalize Cultivation
I had always felt that practitioners in North America were especially diligent, that practitioners in Mainland China were especially steadfast, and that practitioners in Taiwan were especially easy and comfortable. However, I realized that in Zhuan Falun, there are no distinction between North America, Mainland China, and Taiwan. Whether we do well or not--it is up to us, ourselves. Yet I was looking for excuses and blaming the environment. This was due to my insufficient righteous thoughts, and my not firmly believing in the Fa.
One day, when I was making a film, and needing some special music, my fellow practitioners were all very busy. I felt pity for myself. My editing became slower and slower, and I wondered why my path of cultivation was so lonely. Because I was doing the film production alone, I felt even more lonely. As I found myself having to pass this test by myself, having to enlighten to the Fa by myself, and having to edit the film by myself, I wondered, "How could I be this lonely?" Later, when I read what teacher said in the Lecture at the Australia Fa Conference, "... as today you're the luckiest being in the cosmos. You're a Dafa student, and even Gods in the heavens are envious of you..." I cried. In my heart I confessed my wrongdoing to Teacher, "I was wrong, Teacher. Teacher you have given me such a cultivation environment, yet I still complain! Teacher, you let me cultivate with my fellow practitioners, yet I still feel lonely." I realized it is really wrong to measure fellowship among fellow practitioners with ordinary human's affection. I decided to start afresh and do better.
I was awakened. I had totally forgotten how Teacher had been constantly looking after me along this path of cultivation, protecting me, so I would not go astray, and holding my hands to pull me upward. No other cultivation way has been spread on such a large scale as our Falun Dafa. I have over one hundred million practitioners passing the test with me, enlightening righteously with me, and doing Fa-rectification with me. The bottom line is that I didn't understand the notion of one whole body. I only focused on personal cultivation. I only did my own Fa-rectification work, and I even emotionalized cultivation.
In "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston," Teacher says: "A Dafa disciple should put the Fa first in everything he does--whenever you evaluate something you have to consider the Fa first. You probably remember something I've said to you often: a Dafa disciple should consider others first in everything he does. Whenever something happens or whenever a situation comes about, even if it's a minor thing, my first thought is of others, for it's already become natural for me--I just think of others first." I then thought, "Even though I understand that everybody is busy, and that nobody helps me, feeling uncomfortable is an attachment. Do I really consider others first in everything I do? When I really understood this, I finished editing the film in three days, without any music. What's more magical is that, just when I announced that I'd finished editing, the music team had some music to help. The music was not intended for my film, but the production team used those elements that I wanted for the film. This incident occurred in order for me to eliminate my attachment. If we look inside, we will discover that, when things don't go well in our work, our own problems are generally the cause.
The Issue Is Not Whether We Have Enough Time. The Issue Is Whether We Cultivate Ourselves Well
One time I was editing a film with a fellow practitioner. Because we all had classes during the day, we had to do our editing at night. He edited from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., and I edited from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Because the film was made from pictures, I had the extra work of making animation pictures for the film. I slept very little during this time. I had to attend school, do my homework, study the Fa, and practice the exercises. I always felt that I didn't have enough time. One time after I finished the editing, I felt that more pictures needed to be made. It was already midnight and I only had two hours left to draw the pictures. However, it would take me at least half an hour to draw one picture, and I had six pictures to make, so it would take me at least three to four hours. If I rested instead, then when the fellow practitioner came the next day, he wouldn't have anything to edit. I thought to myself, "I'll just draw as many pictures as I can." When I drew the pictures, I felt myself becoming very quiet, to the point where everything around me disappeared, leaving only the papers, the pens, and me. In the blink of an eye, I finished drawing all six pictures. I took a look at the clock and found only a little more than one hour had passed. I went back to my dormitory half an hour earlier than usual. Therefore, having enough time is not the issue. The only issue is whether we have cultivated ourselves well.
For a long time, I felt that I did this "editing" job with my supernormal capabilities. I could do it freely, and it worked out well. I could edit it anyway I wanted, and it came out fine. My speed was fast, and my work was good. However, one time I noticed that, while editing, it was no longer easy. I struggled with technical issues like an ordinary person, and I could no longer reach the standard of a Dafa disciple. I became depressed and went to sleep. I refused to face the problem. Soon after, while studying the Fa, I turned to the page with, "Supernormal abilities are but small tricks, Dafa is most fundamental." (from "Pursuing the Upright Cultivation Way" Hongyin) Teacher gave me this merciful hint. I realized that it had been a long while since I calmly studied the Fa. When I had too much homework, or when there was too much Dafa work, I easily lost my concentration, and my mind wandered off. I stopped my activities for a day and just studied the Fa. I studied a lot of Fa. After that, everything went back to normal.
Truly and Solidly Cultivate the Mind. Do What We Should Do
Shortly afterwards, I had a xinxing test due to my mentality of "accomplishing a task." I could stay up at night for several days, in order to complete a truth-clarification film. Often, fellow practitioners would praise me, which always made me feel uncomfortable. Was it because I didn't live up to their praise? Was it because I didn't cultivate solidly? Why didn't I cultivate solidly? I asked myself these questions very carefully. I did not fall short in studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, or sending forth righteous thoughts. I didn't fall behind in Fa-rectification work either. Accordingly, I should be cultivating upwards smoothly. Yet, I did not feel sure-footed. Teacher says, "If one can make progress just by suffering physically, I would say that Chinese farmers suffer the most. Shouldn't they all become qigong masters, then? No matter how much you suffer physically, you do not suffer as much as they do, who work both hard and painstakingly in the field everyday under the baking sun. It is not that simple a matter. Therefore, we have said that to truly improve oneself, one should genuinely upgrade one's mind. Only then can one truly upgrade oneself." (from Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun) Genuine cultivation does not refer simply to studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, sending forth righteous thoughts, and Dafa work. It includes cultivating the mind to eliminate attachments.
In TV work, the biggest test came not long ago, when global Fa-rectification started to include truth-clarification efforts using the Internet. This was an excellent opportunity for students who had not stepped forward before. It was easy to learn, and practitioners who had not participated before could join the force of Fa-rectification very quickly. However, I misunderstood Teacher's compassion. The people around me were all participating in truth-clarification via the Internet. One could quickly feel the change in people from Mainland China. I started to fell that I was very insignificant when doing TV production. My participation didn't make any difference, nor did the film I made have any effect. I wondered whether the things I had done helped to save sentient beings. Doubts like these emerged. It was just like what Teachers says, "At a certain point in time, you will be made unable to discern clearly whether something is true, whether your gong exists, whether you can practice cultivation and make it, ..." (from Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun). Right after these thoughts came up, I got a phone call which asked me to help in the making of truth-clarification CDs. Teacher again pulled me back to my right path. Having any job undone in Dafa is not allowed. When there is an opening, it should be filled by someone. Cultivation is not about joining the big crowd. It is not about getting yourself into the most popular crowd, or the crowd that is considered "hot." Without the many practitioners on TV-team who played the small, insignificant roles, how could all the other students play their roles? Where would their roles come from?
In "Lecture at the West United States Fa Conference," Teachers says: "If we're doing very well the whole world over or in every region where there are Dafa disciples, it's no longer a matter of one region or one individual person, but of the entire Dafa doing well and it's being on an upright course." Therefore, as long as something is good for Dafa, if all of our Dafa disciples--it doesn't matter if you make phone calls, do internet work, make music, mail VCDs, or CDs, do different kinds of media work, and so on--will all take the initiative to do it, the power of our one whole body will frighten the old forces.
