(Clearwisdom.net)
After reading the article "Also Talking about Benevolence," published on Clearwisdom on April 27, 2002, I was deeply moved, especially by the last paragraph.
It points out that hating or feeling sorry for oneself is not the solution. It says, "I think that besides learning the Fa with a peaceful mind, I should also achieve the state that when I discover any non-benevolent mentalities of my own, I will firmly repel and eliminate them." From this, I realized that if I just hate myself for non-benevolent thoughts without truly eliminating the essence of the non-benevolent behavior when I discover it, then I have allowed a form of interference to continue to exist that will enable the bad mentalities to continue to exist. I will pay serious attention to this issue in the future.
After I finished reading the article, Teacher's words suddenly came to my mind, "...Cultivation practice is sacred, and it is not something like an everyday person's self-examination or repentance..." (From "No Omission in Buddha-Nature," Falun Dafa Essentials for Further Advancement) I looked inside my heart and found that during my cultivation, I had stagnated at the state of just realizing my attachments, and I had not taken any actions to eliminate them like the fellow practitioner who wrote the article. After discovering attachments, I would hate myself for a while for having these attachments, and I stopped there, instead of digging out the attachments and firmly eliminating them. This is a form of interference, and that is also the reason why those attachments that should have been removed a long time ago still remain. Cultivation in this manner is just like an everyday person's self-examination or repentance.
I was careless and didn't pay attention to details -- I talked about this so much that it became a refrain. However, I didn't change much, even though I had been aware of these problems for more than a year. Sometimes, I mistakenly took fellow practitioners' experience sharing papers as truth-clarification materials and distributed them to everyday people. I even lost my telephone list once. I knew I had not done very well. However, I didn't take any concrete steps to correct my shortcomings, so I didn't truly achieve the goal of cultivation. Teacher said in his poem, "Solid Cultivation," "...Referring to the Fa in doing everything, Compliance is cultivation." (From Hong Yin.) Now I have come to realize that during my cultivation, whenever I discover any attachments or human notions, I should send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them. That is a denial of the old forces' arrangements about our mindset. Of course, some attachments are very strong and may not be eliminated right away. Then we need to weaken them gradually during our cultivation so that we will be able to do better with the same problems next time we encounter them, and continue until we don't make the same mistakes any more. In this way, we will achieve the standard of a Fa-rectification disciple.
Besides learning the Fa with a peaceful mind, I should silently recite the Fa-rectification verses and firmly eliminate the unrighteous thoughts whenever I discover them. I'm not supposed to have bad thoughts. They are the old forces' arrangements designed to undermine the Fa, and I should absolutely not allow it. I should not be controlled by those substances that are not mine. I must maintain complete control of myself.
I also became enlightened to the understanding that, on the other hand, as practitioners, we need to examine our thoughts and actions. We need to be remorseful for our mistakes, as that is a part of the cultivation process. We are not cultivating ourselves if we don't recognize and feel remorse for our mistakes. However, cultivation "...is not something like an everyday person's self-examination or repentance...." (From "No Omission in Buddha-Nature," Falun Dafa Essentials for Further Advancement) Thus, after self-examination and repentance, we need to be determined to correct our mistakes. We should not continue to make the same mistakes.
The above are some of my personal understandings. I wrote it down to share with my fellow practitioners for mutual encouragement. Please point out anything improper.
