(Clearwisdom.net)
V. Sent to Jiamusi Labor Camp Twice
When I heard that I had been sentenced to a labor camp, I was very calm. I told myself that I would cultivate well in the labor camp. Since at that time I didn't realize that it was arranged by the old evil forces, I completely accepted the arrangement. When the vehicle was half way there, I started to feel sick, nauseous and dizzy. I passed out as soon as I stepped out of the vehicle. A practitioner helped me to get into an office. I sat on the floor. The police took the shackles off of me, and examined my blood pressure and heart rate. They said that my blood pressure was over 200, and that my heart rate was more than 130 beats per minute. Before they let me sit down on a chair, the prison doctor pressed my legs, which were swelling very badly. I felt so nauseous that I had to lean against a table. A moment later, a strong, tan-faced policewoman came in with a female criminal, and they started to search me and rummage though my belongings. The female criminal found I that had a Falun Dafa book held against my chest, and she tried to snatch it from me. I protected the book with all my strength in order to prevent her from grabbing it, and the policewoman beat me right in the face. They threw me from the table to the floor and seized my book. After that they even accused me ferociously, "You said that you were sick, yet you were so strong." Because I didn't safeguard the Dafa book well, tears streamed down my face. I knew that it wasn't because of my physical condition; rather, it was because of my xinxing. I was bound by a notion that labor camps were more evil than detention centers, and thinking that labor camps were tougher was exactly the attachment of fear that let the evil capitalize on my weak spots.
In the days that followed, I started to truly understand what Teacher has said in (Falun Dafa (Lecture in Sydney)) that, "Some people find their tribulations very big in cultivation practice, but actually they are not. The bigger you find them, the bigger they will become and the smaller you will become. If you do not care and do not put them on your mind, with the Master and the Fa here what is there to fear? As long as the green mountains remain, there is no fear of having no firewood to burn. Ignore them! Once you give them up, you will find that the tribulations have become smaller and you have become bigger. You will overcome them in one step, and the tribulations will become nothing. It is guaranteed to be this way."
It was only later that I found out that the policewoman who seized my book was named Liu Yadong. She was a ferocious roughneck who always persecuted Falun Dafa practitioners. In a short while, the police in the labor camp said they wouldn't accept me, and ordered someone to help me get back into the vehicle. When I had nearly reached the car door, I turned and rushed back to the office door, demanding that they return my book. But I was pushed into the vehicle by force. I was very depressed after getting back to the detention center. My cellmates all felt sorry about it, too, when they learned that my book had been seized. After I had returned, the police started rotating the cells, and several Falun Dafa practitioners were moved into our cell. Some of them had been arrested because they participated in an experience-sharing conference.
After the cell rotations, there were too many people in our room to even have enough space to sleep. After the cellmates had all lain down one next to another, we, the over a dozen Dafa practitioners, could only sit in the aisle, between the wall and their feet. This went on night after night, and some only had standing room. The cellmates told us that in the worst cases in the past, Falun Gong practitioners had even sat on the toilet to sleep. Since there were so many people crowded together, some cellmates started to bully us. Some people would snatch the clothes that practitioners' families had sent them. At that time we blindly thought that giving them full rein to do it was "Forbearance," and we therefore made ourselves into people who, in their eyes, were easily taken advantage of, and we didn't realize that we shouldn't accept these unrighteous things. Meanwhile, we gave full rein to the wicked persons and the evil, thus making many cellmates think that whatever Falun Dafa practitioners have is theirs if they want it, or it would be a problem with our cultivation. Some practitioners sent me clothes, yet they were snatched away so fast that I never even got to look at them. In fact, we should have told them that it was a crime to steal or grab other peoples' belongings, and let them understand the principles of being a human being. Only this can be truly good for them. For Dafa practitioners, "Forbearance (ren) is not cowardice, much less is it resigning oneself to adversity." ("Beyond the Limits of Forbearance")
Two days later, someone from the "610 Office" came. Because after my return from the labor camp, the detention center had filed a report about possibly releasing me, he had come here to investigate. He stood outside the iron door and asked me, "What illness do you have?" I said, "I had many diseases before I started practicing [Falun Dafa]. They were all gone after I began practicing." He said, "Do you still want to go there after you get out of here?" I said, "I haven't made any decisions yet." He said, ferociously, "Then you'd better stay here." It was only later that I enlightened that Teacher had given me chances to realize that I should not follow the evil's arrangements. I therefore should have long since broken out of the demons' den, but I had missed the chances, again and again. I started out along a very long and passive path.
I was kept in the detention center for over half a month more, during which time I read six or seven lectures of Zhuan Falun every day. During that period, they would measure my blood pressure every day. In the morning of July 14, 2000, after they measured my blood pressure, the prison doctor said, "Why is your blood pressure over 200?" He checked my legs and found them still very badly swollen. The skin wouldn't bounce back after he pressed it with his fingers. A short while after he left, a policewoman told me to pack, saying that they were going to let me go home. I knew they would often play tricks, so I said to her, "If you're sending me to the labor camp, I'll pack; if you're sending me home, I'll take nothing with me. Tell me the truth, where on earth are you sending me?" She replied, "You should pack then." I knew that the release report filed by the detention center was not approved by the "610 Office," and the detention center was afraid that I would die while in their custody, so they would send me to the labor camp.
I walked out of the dark, humid prison house, and found the sun shining outside. There were some male practitioners doing labor work in the yard, and one of the younger ones said to me, "Elder sister, see you in the labor camp!" I could feel his firm belief in cultivation practice and the complete ease of Falun Dafa practitioners who fear nothing. When I arrived at the labor camp, they again started a physical exam. They usually wouldn't examine practitioners who did not have special symptoms and would instead accept them directly. But after examining me, they still refused to accept me. They delayed making a decision, until noon arrived, and the whole time the city policeman who had sent me here kept complaining, "Tell me quickly whether you're going to keep her or not. Why on earth are you doing it in such a troubled way?" In the afternoon, a Vice Director of the labor camp and a director of the Health Office took me to the city hospital for examination, where the director of the hospital issued a certificate for me, showing that my blood pressure was three levels higher than normal, and suspected that I had disease in my right heart ventricle, and suggested that I be hospitalized. With the exam results in hand, they took me to the City Judicial Bureau, and then to the "610 Office." But the "610 Office" didn't agree to my release, saying that they should keep me in the labor camp for observation. After I got back to the labor camp, the police from the City Public Safety Bureau wanted me to sign the written judgment. I told him, "I know it's your job, but I can't sign it. It's not that I oppose you, it's that I didn't commit any crimes." He said something interspersed with curses, but didn't try any further to force me to sign it.
I was thus jailed in a labor camp without having made a single confession or signed anything.
VI. Living Hell - Jiamusi Forced Labor Camp
After arriving at the labor camp, I was forced into solitary confinement. A person who had been imprisoned for fraud was assigned to monitor me at night, and she would leave during the day. On the door hung a white curtain and any inmate could raise the curtain to monitor me. The back window of the room was covered with a big iron board that made the room unbearably hot and damp in the summer, but I still wasn't allowed to leave the room for one second. I had to eat in my cell, relieve myself in the same cell, and wasn't allowed to take a bath or wash my clothes regardless how hot the weather was. My money and belongings were all confiscated by the police except the 100 Yuan a fellow practitioner gave me. Bedding in the labor camp cost 150 Yuan, and the first two nights I had to sleep on bare boards covered with soil and dust. Due to the lack of a window screen, mosquitoes were prevalent and their bites rendered me unable to sleep. At the end I had to cover my head with clothes. On the third night they finally brought me a green comforter that smelled of urine (later they charged me 150 Yuan).
Lacking righteous thoughts, I quietly accepted the evil's arrangements. I only went on a hunger strike for five days at the beginning, and often felt that the conditions in the forced labor camp were much better than those of the detention center, as at least there were beds. I told an assistant supervisor, "Hold me here if you want to, but I'm not scared. I will cultivate even if you detain me for 10,000 years. This place isn't too bad; at least I get my own room with a bed, so I'll view this as professional cultivation." In reality, I did not genuinely treat myself as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, and only thought about my personal cultivation. In a forced labor camp I was still searching for peace and comfort. In fact, they (the evil) used cruel methods of isolation and dejection for psychological torment in an effort to ruin my faith. If I wasn't a cultivator and didn't resolutely have faith in Dafa, it would have driven me insane.
Every inmate at the labor camp was forced to shave her head. They tried to cut my hair on several occasions, but I firmly refused, and told them that I didn't commit a crime and wasn't a criminal, so they had no right to cut my hair. After a week, group leader Liu Hongguang personally led a few evil police to cuff me to a metal chair and forcibly cut my hair, leaving it jagged and uneven. To this day the scars of their physical abuse still remain on my leg. A few days later, they coerced me to have my photo taken. They tried to drag me out, but I firmly refused and told them, "I'm not a criminal, so I will not have my picture taken!" In the end I still didn't have my picture taken.
During my stay at the forced labor camp I steadfastly studied the Fa and practiced the exercises daily. However, I only memorized and recited Hongyin along with a few of Teacher's scriptures. I regret not having memorized more. When they discovered me practicing, I suffered a round of beating, kicking and some verbal abuse. After doing the exercises I was sweaty, but there was no water to take a bath. After some time, my entire body reeked of sweat odor.
VII. Expose Betrayers' Lies
I came to the forced labor camp in July 2000. At that time there were already people in the labor camp who had betrayed Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance due to their weak will. In order to absolve themselves from a guilty conscience, they fooled themselves by making many excuses. Whenever they start broadcasting, I would recite "Lunyu" loudly. When the most evil person finished reading her article and walked past my door, I said to her, "You slandered Buddha and the Fa, are you not afraid of going to hell?" I felt really sorry for them.
The wicked guards came to try and brainwash me many times, attempting to make me give up cultivation, but without achieving any result. Every day, I could hear them deceiving Dafa practitioners with their loud voices. A female guard, whose last name is Mu, and who has deceived many people said to me, "I am confident about you, and I will surely make you 'transform'." "That's your dream. I will forever firmly believe in Dafa, trust my Master, even if I am the only one left, I will still stick with it to the end," I replied. "Don't be a big mouth," she said.
"I'm not that stupid to allow myself to be reduced to a level not even as good as an everyday person, and by not knowing that people should not be ungrateful; furthermore, I would not be that foolish as to look for excuses after becoming a betrayer. Nobody can change my mind," I answered. She brought me a pen and paper and asked me to write down how I obtained the Fa. She asked me if I would like to have a talk with those who had turned against Dafa. I wanted to persuade these people to come back to the Fa, so I replied, "Yes." She called in two betrayers whom they believed to be the most capable to talk with me. I first talked about my personal experiences after obtaining the Fa, and then I talked about the magnificent solemnity of Dafa from my own understanding and what I have seen.
I also told them about a successful Fa experience-sharing meeting, even when surrounded by the wicked police. One of them was moved to tears. I asked her surprisingly, "Have you truly given up your belief in Dafa? Do you really want to give up cultivation?" However, she tried to deceive herself as well as others by saying that it was not cultivation that she gave up, but doing the exercises. She also made many other ridiculous remarks. "Aren't you deceiving yourselves as well as others? Do you think you can eliminate a selfish sentiment by slandering Buddha and the Fa, and by swearing at our great Master? Do you know how much suffering our Master has borne for us?" I asked them. The two betrayers also said that people had become bad, so they did not deserve to obtain the Fa and they should not be told the truth. I questioned them, "Where is your compassion? You say all the others have become bad, others may think you have become bad as well. If others think of you this way, where could you obtain the Fa? You are not benevolent. Furthermore, you are lying and deceiving people, and you are not being truthful either." They continued to defend themselves by saying, "Repentance is the will of Heaven."
I immediately said to them, "The will of Heaven is Master rectifying the Fa and disciples assisting Master in the human world. This is the will of Heaven! Yet, you stand on the evil's side, because you have the attachment of fear and you could not endure the suffering. Fundamentally, you do not believe in Dafa in your heart and you think the day of Fa-rectification in the human world will never come, and that is why you assist the evil to persecute the good. What you are doing is truly against the will of Heaven!" They argued for themselves, "We are not afraid, the 'transformation' is to eliminate the fear of being destroyed both physically and spiritually." I told them that good people would never be destroyed physically and spiritually. Whether or not one goes to hell does not depend on whether one has fear or not. I said to them that the reason they claimed they were not afraid was because they did not know what it was like, being destroyed physically and spiritually. They only said that to cover up their attachment of fear and to look for excuses for their evil enlightenment. I warned them that if they continued to slander Buddha and the Fa, they would indeed go to hell and be destroyed both physically and spiritually!
They also talked nonsense like they had already reached consummation and no longer needed to study the Fa and do the exercises. I asked them, "You have reached consummation, tell me how high is your level? How do you know that you have reached consummation? Is there any standard for it?" They could not answer. They then talked nonsense and said that someone from the repented group saw it through her third-eye. I said, "She must have demonic interference from her own mind!" The person they mentioned was one of the earlier ones who enlightened along the evil path, and has "transformed" many practitioners. She was just like what Master described, the kind of "hidden malignant tumors." ("Suffocate the Evil") She was in her 30s, but her face was full of wrinkles, and her skin dark and rough. She talked in a cynical and deliberately ambiguous manner. I saw her once when delivering meals, and said to her, "Buddha came down to save people in the Dharma-ending period. You are slandering Buddha and the Fa, so you will not have a good ending!"
The two betrayers unscrupulously quoted out of context, saying, "Even Dafa will be given up in the end." I said to them, "What we should give up are bad things. If you give up Dafa, how will you cultivate? You bowed in the face of pressure, fundamentally you do not have a firm belief in Dafa, and yet you still try to find the excuses for yourselves and to distort the Fa." They kept talking nonsense, "You only care about your own consummation and do not care about your family members." They tried to judge other people with their impure mind; furthermore, they only thought of their family members and ignored the majority of people being deceived. I replied, "If I were selfish, I would have not stepped forward, I would have stayed at home, doing the exercises secretly and only told my family members that Falun Dafa is good. It would have been good enough that my family members knew the truth. However, I was concerned about many more others who have been deceived. Furthermore, I also believe that as being human, we should repay much more for whatever tiny kindness we receive. What Master has given us we shall never be able to repay! If we only think of ourselves and do not step forward to speak out the truth, then aren't we as bad as immoral people?"
The human side of the betrayers has been completely controlled by the evil factors; they confused themselves and lost their senses. They are worse than Judas. Judas betrayed Jesus but he did not look for excuses for himself. However, these betrayers thought that by slandering Master, who has borne boundless suffering for them, they would give up their sentiment to Master, and they could thus be on their way to consummation. If Judas had acted like them, he would have put another nail into Jesus, wouldn't he?
Seeing that they could not change my mind, they walked away. The two evil enlightened people talked about 8 or 9 points. After finishing the talk with them, and having heard their evil enlightenment, I felt very uncomfortable. So I summarized their evil understandings into a list, evaluated them one by one with my understanding of the Fa. Finally my mind became very clear and I felt much better. I realized that cultivation is truly a very serious matter! Now I further understand why Master has asked us to read the book more in our daily life. The Fa's principles are guiding us in our personal cultivation and guiding us to overcome tribulations!
After this encounter, that female guard never mentioned "transformation" again. They transferred me to a cell shared with a drug user. This drug user asked for food from other practitioners in my name. She behaved the same way as that betrayer, who was monitoring me, short changed me on food, drink, and other things. I also heard that this drug user, instigated by the wicked police, used to viciously beat Dafa practitioners, and her sentence term was reduced because of this. Later she suffered a retribution for bullying and swearing at a betrayer. She was beaten up by the betrayer with a wooden board. One of her arms was broken. This betrayer said, "You made me repent, and do not allow me to practice cultivation, then I am an everyday person. Being an everyday person, I can beat people."
Seeing that they could not change me after using all kinds of methods, they then confined me into a cell at the end of the hallway. Besides mealtime, I could not see anyone, not even hear any sound. Now I deeply understood what Master talked about the unbearable taste of loneliness. The labor camp has really exhausted all of their means. On the fifth day, I knocked on the wall to check if there was anybody on the other side. No one answered. Then I knocked hard at the heater pipe and shouted through a crack on the wall, "Anybody there?" After a long while, I heard a weak voice. I immediately asked, "Have you repented?" "It's wrong to repent!" the other person quickly replied. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes: there are still fellow practitioners like myself having firm righteous thoughts. Later I learned her name was Liu Rangfang. Her sister was also kept there. She asked if I had any of Master's new articles. I passed the article "Towards Consummation" through the crack. She told me that she was having diarrhea with blood, which had been going on for a long time, that she could not eat anything for many days, and she had to lie on the bed now. The next day, I heard some fellow practitioners calling me from the other side of the wall, and I learned that there were four practitioners being detained there. They encouraged me not to give in no matter how difficult the situation became.
(To be continued)
