(Clearwisdom.net) I have mixed feelings about the fifth Falun Dafa exercise -- "Strengthening Divine Powers." I love it and yet fear it. While enjoying the miraculous sensations, I suffer excruciating pain from sitting meditation. For me, the pain reaches the limit of my tolerance. But I understand the significance of suffering the pain, I persevered and practiced every day. With time I could do the full lotus position instead of the half lotus position. I initially could only do it for five, ten, or thirty minutes. Now I manage to meditate for one hour. However, the pain has not gone away with time. When I shared my experience with other practitioners, most of us just bear the pain. During summer vacation, one Swedish practitioner joined our practice group. Upon seeing our expression while meditating, he said, "when doing sitting meditation, no matter how painful it is, we need to keep our body unmoved. Meanwhile we need to keep a serene countenance. We have to bear with the pain. Otherwise the ordinary people who passes by would never dare to join us upon seeing our expression." I agree with him. But I truly cannot control myself and keep unmoved.
I asked him how to achieve this. He said: "Clear up our minds and upgrade our xinxing (mind nature)." I did not get what he meant. When conflicts and tribulations occur, we improve our xinxing and can easily overcome them. However, how can improving xinxing overcome the pain from sitting meditation? I did not enlighten to it.
On the third day, when the pain became increasingly unbearable, I kept in mind the words of this practitioner and put down my attachment. With the gradual letting go of the attachment, I felt my heart became empty and my mind gradually rise above and my level reached higher and higher until my heart became completely empty. At that time, my body felt weightless and very light but only my legs were not able to move. I clearly felt the separation between my spirit and physical body. Although I still felt the pain, my mind was somewhere higher above and the pain was unable to control it. I truly realized the sacred and solemn image of keeping a serene countenance and bearing a compassionate heart. With the pain of my legs, I deeply understood the meaning of "Hardship suffering treated as joy" ("Tempering One's Mind and Heart") and realized the magnificence of sitting meditation. After overcoming this test, I took a big step forward and felt that it would not be difficult even if I further extended the time for sitting meditation.
The above is an experience that I would like to sincerely share with other fellow practitioners. Only after overcoming the pain and suffering can we improve our level. Meanwhile we will have a deeper understanding of forbearance.
