July 2, 2001

In mid-June, 2001, I woke up one morning with practically no voice and a very large cough. "A good tribulation!" I thought. And settled in to "endure." During previous tribulations, I'd always just thought of paying back my karma -- relating everything to past conflicts and past lives. Two years ago, I was fortunate enough to personally relay an experience to Master Li, saying that a situation seemed to be reversed from what I'd experienced a couple of hundred years ago. "This is different." he replied. It wasn't until my laryngitis didn't go away after a week, that I began to think that perhaps this was also different.

For more than twenty-five years, I was a broadcast announcer. My voice was my job. I was proud of being able to use it in powerful ways -- proud of my ability to manipulate people and situations through my voice. It was a shock to suddenly lose that power. It was humbling to see people laugh when I squeaked a response to a question. It was interesting not to be able to whip back with a quick reply in a conversation, or when I saw something happening where I would normally intervene in some way. And I began to better understand the requirement that practitioners should watch their speech. I began to see how much energy I expend in talking, and how many times it might be better if I were to remain silent instead.

And then I began to think of the practitioners in China who have 'lost their voice.' No one hears their anguished cries, except the prison guards and prisoners. And I could feel the pain of their imposed silence. And it strengthened my resolve to be a voice for them and to let my voice be heard for them. And with that resolve, my own sound began to return.

"I will use various means to expose your deeply-concealed attachments and get rid of them." wrote Master Li in his article, Digging Out the Roots. Now, during Fa rectification, it seems as if he is going further and allowing us, through our own personal tribulations, to see how we can better understand, and therefore work harder for the process of rectification.

The above is my current understanding and is open for correction.

A western practitioner in Canada

Category: Journeys of Cultivation