Hello Master Li,
Hello everyone,
I'm from Toronto. I have been practicing Falun Dafa since 1996, so it could be said that I'm a veteran practitioner. But I often just feel like I'm a toddler in cultivation. During these two years of Fa-rectification, it seems that I am just coming to understand what this is and how to keep up with Fa-rectification.
On July 20 1999, the Chinese government started the persecution against Falun Gong. Our practitioners from all over the world gathered in Washington D.C., the capital of the US. I was one of them. At that time, I didn't know anything about the U.S government, but I went to Capitol Hill with some other practitioners to appeal to them anyway. This was the beginning of our two year journey of clarifying the truth to the government.
The crackdown left me no hope of returning to China. I moved to Toronto from the U.S. Since I could not legally work, I had more time to work for Dafa. At the beginning of August 1999, I also went to meet an MP when a local practitioner made an appointment. At that time, I couldn't even tell the difference between a Canadian MP and a US congressman, neither could I use English very well to explain what Falun Gong was or what was happening in China. Nonetheless, that became the starting point for me to appeal to the Canadian government. From then on I began to meet with MPs, MPPs and City Councilors for support. When I look back on the journey of appealing to the Canadian government now, I can see that a lot of my behavior at that time was very inappropriate and childish. Under such a situation of being without any knowledge of the Canadian government, some practitioners and I walked a long and bitter road of clarifying the truth to the government. I couldn't believe that a girl like me, who becomes nervous when speaking in public, could deal with all those politicians.
I remember an experience that I had once while meeting with an MP. I spent a lot of time and effort to make an appointment with him. On the day of the meeting I rushed to park my car on the road and came to his office quite early. However, an hour later his secretary told me that he had not yet come back to Toronto from Ottawa and asked me to wait for further notice. I had no choice but to leave. When I got back to my car I found that I had gotten a ticket due to careless parking.
At the beginning of the following year I finally got another opportunity to meet him.
I left my car in a parking spot very far away to avoid getting another ticket. When I got there, I found that several people were already waiting in line; after a while it was my turn. But before I even said a word, he saw the Dafa materials in my hands and shouted, "Oh, I have met some of your friends already, you don't need to talk with me anymore, I know everything. Please leave." After I stepped out of the office, I couldn't stop my tears from flowing down my face. On the way home I kept asking myself "Have you had any improper thoughts? Have you had any improper thoughts?" I felt very bad, and for a long time I couldn't get over it. Finally I came to understand that it was not a big deal whether I talked with this MP or not. Instead, what is more important is whether in this process I did things wholeheartedly. If you feel you tried your best, then there is nothing to be regretful about and there is no need to feel sorrow because cultivation focuses on cultivating your heart.
Sponsored by my husband, I began to apply to become a permanent resident in Canada shortly after I came to Canada. In December 1999, I passed the initial examination and my visiting visa had been smoothly extended as well. At the beginning of 2000, a practitioner from Germany asked for help for her status since her visa had just expired; my husband and I generously offered our help, though we too were having a very hard time: neither my husband nor I had sufficient money for living. From her trembling voice on the phone, we could tell how much pressure she was facing. At that time I didn't think that this matter had anything to do with me, but two months later, I fell into the same tribulation.
In April 2000, my Chinese passport expired, and my application for an extension was rejected. I went to the Chinese consulate. I was told that because of my business passport, I was required to obtain a letter from my previous employer proving that I had resigned and had no other financial relations with them. But my previous employer no longer existed because the company had closed six months ago. No one would take responsibility for me. So I contacted my previous managers to ask for help, but they all told me to return to China to follow procedures. All of my old colleagues at that company knew that I was a Falun Gong practitioner, and with the severe situation in China at that time, I would not be able to return even if I wanted to because my passport was invalid. But if I didn't try to go back, I would have to pay a large amount of money, which they said I would not have to pay if I went back. This was obvious blackmail and since I did not work in Canada, it was impossible for me to afford the penalty. Nor was my husband able to pay due to his financial situation.
I had no option but to ask the Canadian government for help. I had all of my documents ready and available to obtain my landing papers except a valid passport.
My application was refused again. Immigration Canada sent me an order to leave Canada before May 21, otherwise I would probably be deported. Again I appealed to my MP for help, but with no result. I felt very bad. Meanwhile, the annual Falun Dafa Conference of Canada and also the first World Falun Dafa Day were approaching. Though depressed by my situation, I was greatly inspired by other practitioners who were all participating wholeheartedly in the Fahui (conference) preparation and for the practitioners in China who were suffering severe persecution at that time. I calmed down, putting aside my personal tribulation and devoted myself to the preparation for Fahui.
After the Fahui, there was only one week left before my visa expired. After all efforts failed, my husband started to apply for refugee status for me on May 19th. This was my only guarantee that I would not to be deported. During the next couple of days, my heart was so heavy.
The next day, I had an appointment with an MP. I did not know if I could calmly face him and I cannot remember what I said at that time; I was totally lost. I always cried at home during that time, but I never exposed my situation to the other practitioners. I knew everyone was busy with promoting Dafa in the Fa-rectification. They would shoulder an extra burden if I told them.
However, I had three different dreams in the following three nights which changed me drastically. In the first dream, I received a package from my parents and when I opened the package, it contained a bag full of golden, shining fruits. In the second dream, when I and some other practitioners stepped out of a building, at the entrance appeared four "good fortune" words, and outside there was a group celebrating a festival, what a large group! In the third dream, I saw Master Li. For such a long time I had not seen Master Li, and though he said nothing to me, I was still so excited. Then Master's scripture The Knowing Heart was officially published on the Website of Clearwisdom and this was the first article released by Master since the crackdown. I immediately understood that enormous changes had taken place in other dimensions. I came out of my personal tribulation and melted into the Fa-rectification.
With the release of more new scriptures, my heart became more and more wide and the individual tribulations had become so insignificant in my eyes. I spent a lot of time clarifying the truth to more people. It took me about half a year to go through my refugee procedure, right until the end of last year. Later, I came to realize that this is my own tribulation and I should solve my problem nobly through the normal immigration procedures. After all, there was no need for me to apply for refugee status because my initial application had been approved. Therefore, I withdrew my refugee application. We then hired a lawyer, and again started the normal immigrant application. We knew that we should take this opportunity to clarify the truth to the lawyer. So my husband and I spent a lot of time to introduce Falun Gong and the persecution in China each time we had an appointment with him. In fact, he also had a lot of questions to consult us such as how to tell genuine Falun Gong practitioners. He mentioned that lots of people applied for refugee status by claiming to be practitioners. We provided detailed information on what genuine practitioners are supposed to do even in the face of persecution.
In the meantime, I talked frankly to my colleague about my problem, about Falun Gong and the reason why I could not return to China. She helped me reach an agreement with my previous manager, and my problem was solved after I paid a comparatively large sum of money. But I still failed to get my landing papers. Later, I was notified to be interviewed by Immigration Canada. I was a little nervous. According to the regulations in Canada, there was little hope for a person to acquire landing papers if he follows the normal immigration procedures. The exception is to apply for refugee status. Unexpectedly, the immigration officer just asked me two questions and ten minutes later she brought the landing papers to me. Finally, this tribulation had passed.
A few days later, we received a bill from the lawyer that was far more expensive than expected. In fact, my husband had done all the paper work, leaving no specific work for the lawyer to do. After careful reading, we noticed that he charged $250 hourly for the time during which we clarified the truth to him (including his attendance of our Friends of Falun Gong dinner banquet). No matter what he responded, we had managed to tell the true story of Falun Gong. Probably this is his predestined opportunity to acquire the Fa in the future. Therefore, it is worthwhile for us to have spent some money on him.
Promoting Dafa and clarifying the truth to the government is extremely important and also very hard. Since the crackdown, we have experienced a lot. We keep making appointments with MPs clarifying to them the happenings in China. I was touched by the following examples.
I had met an MP who is a highly respected person and quite interested in listening to the Falun Gong issue in China. He was very concerned with the happenings in China and was always willing to offer some advice, ideas, but never willing to publicly support Falun Gong and never got involved in doing anything for us. He was too cautious to attend any press conferences, any petition activities and celebrations, not to mention writing an open letter to condemn the crackdown of Falun Gong. For a while, I thought of giving up on contacting him, since I felt it was not worth going further.
Then I began to think seriously about how to promote Fa and clarify the truth to the government officials. Does an MP attending our press conference, writing a letter condemning the Chinese government or presenting Falun Gong issues at parliament, mean promoting Fa to the Government? It is apparently incomplete. I realize that the importance lies in that they are representatives of Canadians, and that their attitude represents the will of their people. If the government is against Dafa, it will bring disaster to their whole community. What we need to do is to eliminate the bad, evil things in their mind, display the bright aspects of Dafa to them and let them realize keeping silent is the same as accepting the evil. Their participation can make a difference.
When I changed the ordinary person's concept of judging success or failure, I found it was completely different. The next time I met this MP, I changed the way I spoke to him. I tried to let him be aware of the great compassion and tolerance that our practitioners were displaying. I let him know that on the other side of the world there was a group of people suffering solely for their pursuit in the true belief and that their sacrifice is genuine selflessness aiming to awaken people's conscience. I let him know helping these people is noble and would contribute to rescue human beings. I gradually found the change in him. Although he still does not like his name to appear in the media, his support for Falun Gong is sincere. He is a politician with a good reputation in parliament. He talked to other MPs, explained the true story of Falun Gong, and thus did many significant things for us. However, the real change in him took place a year after we met him. He and his secretaries have become very good friends of ours.
Another impressive story is about another MP. We started to contact this MP since the beginning of the crackdown, with the same response each time: He already had all the information about us, and did not need to talk to us anymore. This is a common excuse used by some politicians. I cannot remember how many times I called him. Whenever we had some big events I would contact him through his secretary. His secretary could tell who I was without listening to my name. The secretary was very sympathetic with us, but said he could do nothing.
During the 2000 election campaign, we realized that this would be a great opportunity to approach him since all the MPs were opening their doors. The day before the election, we were finally able to set up an appointment with him. But when we arrived at his office the next day, he had not come back from Ottawa yet. After trying so many times and again failing to meet with him, I was really somewhat disappointed.
Later, I thought that, if the Fa-rectification were over, this MP would not have had an opportunity to know the truth about Falun Dafa; what a sad thing that would be.
Not only for him but also for all the people in his constituency. Meanwhile, I myself would he responsible for this, because I failed to enable him to know how good Dafa is. If I gave up just because this matter was hard to do, where would my compassion be? And how could demonstrate I am a genuine practitioner?
Therefore, after the federal election campaign I went on to make appointments with him and this time I was successful. After one and a half years of trying to make an appointment, I finally got the chance to meet with him. The time with him was very friendly, and it took as long as 45 minutes. I was also able to meet his assistant whom I had never met but could distinguish my voice. His assistant was also very happy with us. From this, I thought, during Fa-rectification, how much we need to persistently do Hongfa and Fa-rectification. Every effort no matter how small is not wasted. Here we just pay a little, but in other dimensions, it is likely to be enormous. If we can go on doing so for the long term, this "a little" can accumulated into a gigantic force in the Fa-Rectification. This great force can break the mountain in half. What is more important is the process instead of the result.
In the days when I was applying for refugee status, I felt like I was in prison. It was hard seeing other practitioners going to the US and other countries to attend Fa conferences and all kinds of events. I was feeling so worried, especially when almost all the practitioners from Toronto went to New York to attend the grand activity last September. I was so worried that I almost cried. In addition, we need money to spread the Fa and clarify the truth, but I did not have much as I was unable to work during this period.
After thinking deeply, I felt I gained a lot after losing much. I was able to get much valuable time to spread the Fa and clarify the truth as I needed to call the MPs to make appointments during the daytime. I have met over 50 MPs, Senators, MPPs and city Councilors. I have met some MPs more than ten times and I have made good friends with them. I am not saying I did tremendous work. In fact, other fellow practitioners did more than I did. What I want to say is that as we are cultivating in Dafa, Dafa has given me great strength. Whenever I think of Zhao Xin (who was tortured to death) and her great courage when facing the evil forces, I cannot hold back my tears. Whenever I feel helpless, I think about those ordinary practitioners in China and great courage arises from the bottom of my heart. I realized in this process that we should put Dafa first, under any difficult situation. Regardless of any personal tribulations, we should regard spreading the Fa, rectifying the Fa, and clarifying the truth as the most important thing, and our personal tests and tribulations will pass smoothly.
In this process, I felt deeply the importance of studying the Fa. I remember once when I was reading Zhuan Falun, Master talked about heavenly demons. When the old universe explodes, all lives in the whole universe will be completely destroyed and lie in ruins. "Those who have survived the explosion will continue to hold onto the previous characteristics and principles to do things in the universe. The newly constructed universe will observe the characteristics and principles of that new universe in its operation. Thus those who escaped the explosion have become the demons that interfere with the principles of the universe" as such. Then I thought about how the role we are playing in the process of Fa-rectification is so rapid, and if we cannot catch up with the understanding of Dafa and continue to do things according to the model we used several months ago, it could become a block. We must break many frames that might limit our minds. In order to do this, we must study the Fa more with a calm heart and improve within the Fa.
Finally, I would like to conclude my speech with a poem of Master's:
With one heart, coming to this human world,
Earlier having acquired the Fa.
Fly over to the heavenly paradise in the future,
Carefree, with the Fa boundless.
Thank you everyone.
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