I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1996. In August of the same year, I migrated to New Zealand. After practicing, I have gained so much, achieved better health and a calmer mind. On July 22, 1999 the Chinese government started to ban and persecute Falun Dafa, a peaceful practice that can enable better health and moral elevation. In utter surprise and dismay, New Zealand practitioners gathered together to meditate in front of the Chinese consulate and express our views about Falun Gong. On October 27, 1999 Jiang Zemin condemned Falun Gong as a XX(slanderous words omitted). Mainland practitioners put their lives at risk to go to the government and speak a fair word for Dafa. Their actions deeply moved me. On the last day of 1999, as a Falun Dafa practitioner and as a person who has benefited from it, I went to Beijing. Wanting to clarify the truth to the government and wanting them to truly understand us so that they would make a fair and just decision, I went even though I held a Chinese passport. However, what awaited me was jail and non-stop psychological torture. My hope for justice was totally destroyed. One unbelievable fact that frightened me was that a 1.2 billion populated country would perceive human lives so lightly. Falun Gong practitioners are not only suffering basic human right violations, but they are also put under the most inhumane and cruel physical and mental torture. Many practitioners turned their faces towards the gray sky and called out, "Where is justice?!"
On December 31, 1999, the police came to the hotel where a few practitioners and I resided, arrested us and took us to the local police station for interrogation without any legal documents. . On January 1, 2000, just because I replied that I practice Falun Gong, I was transported to the Beijing Dongcheng Detention Centre and was detained as a criminal for 30 days.
During these 30 days, I did not reveal the location of my hometown, or else I would be deported back to Shenyang (in Liaoning Province), my city of origin. I refused to leave because my wish to speak a just word for Dafa had not yet been realised and I still had not clarified the truth to the governmental office. After the 30th day a policeman said to me, "Your detainment term is up, today you will be released, but we don't know where to release you. So you must tell us where you're from." I could not tolerate any more jail time. Who would want to stay in jail? Believing that I would be released as soon as I told them my city of origin, I said, "I am from Shenyang." And told them my home address. The police said, "Alright then, please come with us." I was brought to the Shenyang Administration Centre in Beijing. On February 1, I was put into Shenyang Danan Detention Centre. What followed was a severe interrogation. Without any legal procedures, I was once again put into jail.
I will never forget New Year's Eve 2000(lunar calendar). Another Falun Gong practitioner and I were locked together in an empty cell, eating buns and preserved vegetables. We could only peer through the steel bars on the window and hear everyone celebrating the New Year with fire crackers and fire works. Thinking of the scenes of family reunions bursting with noise and excitement made my heart ache. I have been overseas for three and half years. Only because I believed in the government, I came home to clarify the truth, "Falun Dafa is good, Master is good!" However, simply for these words I was put into jail. Right now, Master has met deep injustice and here I am in a jail unable even to pay respects to my elderly parents. I felt unspeakable pain in my heart. On this 9.6 square kilometers of land, isn't there a place for me to voice my opinion?
Across from our cell was a cell where a few people with mental problems were jailed. After a week, the practitioner who shared my cell was taken away while I was left alone in the freezing room. After midnight, the inmates with mental problems started crying, screaming and singing. Their wild shrieks and howls, echoing through the empty cells, made my hair stand on end. Hunger, cold, loneliness and fear pushed my state of mind close to the edge.
On March 17, I was brought to the Longshan re-education camp to go through enforced Falun Gong re-education. Due to the fact these re-education classes must achieve good results, they escalated the torture of practitioners. In my cell there were 4 people. Two elderly men had high blood pressure while another young man and I had normal blood pressure. The disciplinary officer said to us, "All of you had better write a statement stating that you will not practice or go the Appeal Office. If you don't write it, then you will suffer a lot." I am a Dafa practitioner, if Dafa's reputation is not restored, it would be impossible for me not to appeal and clarify the truth, and not to practice. The disciplinary officer then told me to kneel, but I refused. There is nothing wrong with practicing Dafa, nothing wrong with believing in Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. Two strongly built policemen came over and started to vigorously kick and hit me until my eyes and face swelled, my lip cut and I was so dizzy that I saw stars in my eyes. I could not stand any longer, but I would rather sit on the floor than kneel. From then on I was frequently beaten. Every two days I was put through re-education. The disciplinary officer who sat in a chair ordered me to kneel in front of him. I refused, so I was kicked from the behind. He made me turn up my face and then visciously slapped me. Sometimes I was hit 60 to 70 times a minute. At times, when he lifted his hand, I would tighten my facial muscles to be ready for the slapping, but then he would put his hand down again. When I lowered my precaution and relaxed my muscles, he would start to slap me. It happened again and again, bringing me close to a mental collapse. Sometimes I would be slapped a few hundred times. If his hands were tired, he would use the sole of his shoe. I was told to kneel in a corner whenever he became tired; and after a while I would be called over to be slapped again. My face swelled badly and my eyelids grew so big that they covered my eyes completely. However, after some time, the swelling would go down. If I did not practice Falun Dafa, such a miracle definitely would not happen. Once, I was beaten on and off continuously for two days and nights. They would not let me sleep at night and I wished that they would finish beating me sooner. They wanted to test my will and forced me to spend every minute of the day in fear, wondering when the next imminent beating would be. My firm belief in Falun Dafa enabled me to endure such inhumane mental torture.
One day, my elderly mother came. We have not seen each other during the time I was abroad and I never imagined that we would meet under such circumstances. Seeing my mother's slight unsteady footsteps, her thin face and her gray-white hair, my heart was breaking. Jiang Zemin, why do you also have to torture my family? My mother came to get me to say the words "I will no longer practice." She kneeled down in front of me. At that moment, I remembered Yuefei's death in Fengbo pergola and his unwavering faithfulness to his country. I pushed back my tears of pain and said, "Mom, please get up. I did nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with practicing Falun Gong! There is nothing wrong with Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance!!"
Seeing the love, severe beatings or psychological torment cannot move me. The disciplinary officer said to me, "Lately, there is a new order from higher levels of government. They said that we must escalate the scale of our re-education programs. Don't ask me what kind of methods we will be using, we have our way." That day he carried an electric rod and was waving it around. He said to me, "This electric rod is not a usual rod: its voltage is 40,000. In this entire Centre, this rod has the highest voltage. We did an experiment on a perfectly healthy donkey. When this rod touched it, it immediately fell silently to the ground. Before, not one inmate can endure this rod. I can see that you are different from others, but there's nothing we can do. The higher level orders must be obeyed. They said to use any methods necessary, as long as the promise statement is written so I can tell them that I have done my duties. I doubt you can stand the rod." I said, "I firmly believe in Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. I will endure it because I cannot write something that says I will not appeal and I will not practice. A practitioner from my cell once told me that there was a practitioner who was locked up here for a very long time. He would not give up his belief no matter what torture was used. He strongly refused to write the promise statement and be re-educated. In the end, he was tortured by the electric rod so much that he almost collapsed a few times. Finally he sacrificed his life and jumped out of a window. They also told me that there were many cases like this. Their names are not on the internet and the number of those tortured and beaten to death is 3 to 5 times the number known to the public. I admired this practitioner, who would rather die than give up his beliefs.
The disciplinary officer, seeing that I was so determined, charged the rod for the whole night. The next day he brought in the rod and sparks flew when he tested the electricity in it. At this time my blood pressure and heart rate had already been checked, everything was normal. A policeman said to me, "Before we use violence, you still have a chance to write the promise statement." I said, "No." They made me take off all my clothes except for my underwear and they waved the rod in front of my eyes and said, "Have a look at this, eh." As soon as the button was switched on, the rod crackled with sparks and when switched off there was still very strong static. When it touched me, my muscles tingled. That policeman said again, "So how about it, are you going to write it?" I said no. He started to use the rod on me. Because the current was so strong, I immediately lost control of my bladder and had to go to the toilet. After I came out, he asked again whether I am going to write the statement. I refused once again. That policeman used the rod on my head and high voltage electricity flowed through my head and face. The hot pains made me want to die rather than live. I clenched my teeth and endured it. Seeing that I still refused, he made me lie on my stomach and used the rod on my inner thighs where it is most sensitive. At that moment I felt the pain was unbearable. My heart pounded very fast and I could not breathe. I started to moan, at the same time crawling forward and yelling. The police in front of me was hitting my head with a broomstick. The police behind me was repeatedly jolting me and asked me whether I will now write the statement. I said, "No!" They continued to jolt me and hit me. I desperately crawled forwards, screaming at the top of my lungs. These helpless and tragic cries broke through the walls of the cell and spread throughout the whole jail. After hearing these cries, all the practitioners in the jail called out together, "Do not hit people! Do not abuse people!" This time the police asked again, "Are you going to write it or not?" At this moment, even though my heart felt like it had been speared thousands of times, I still said, "No!" They continued to jolt me, stopping and starting again. In the end, my whole body felt like it has been sliced by thousands of needles and every nerve in my body was attacked by high voltage. I could no longer endure such excruciating pain and at the very edge of death I wrote the six-word statement: will not appeal, will not practice. This is such an inhumane and enforced re-education.
Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance are forever in my heart! What followed was organising practitioners to read material which slanders Falun Gong. I refused to take part and they used another kind of torture on me. At the foot of the wall there is a steel pipe. I must stand on my toes on the pipe, facing the white wall. The distance of the wall from my face must be between 1 to 2 centimeters and I must keep my eyes open and stand without moving. As soon as I closed my eyes, I was beaten. Standing one to two minutes in such a position will make a person dizzy and mentally dazed. A practitioner told me about another kind of torture. They cover a person's head with layers of blankets and scratched your arches. Such suffocation makes it hardly endurable. Just because we firmly believe in Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance we have to suffer all kinds of physical and mental abuse. What kind of society is this?
On May 22, I was released. I should have been as happy as a bird released from its cage, but due to what followed, I felt pressure and distress. The local police and council often came to my house and ordered me to report to them wherever I went. My telephone was tapped 24-hours a day. The chief of the council was told that if anyone from his area went to appeal, he would lose his job. The people from the council would come to my house at anytime and take anything they wanted. They ate our food whenever they felt like it and when it came to the sensitive times of the year he would simply move into my house. Not only was my freedom taken away, my whole family could not live in peace. Everyday, my parents were also very anxious and worried. Due to continual harassment, I became even more stressed and anxious. Whenever there were footsteps on the stairs, I would think the police were coming and only when the footsteps faded away, would I become calmer. When the telephone rang, I became scared and would think it was the police ringing to question me. My anxiety along with mental torments that I endured grew worse each day.
I finally escaped from China to Australia. Today, I am using my personal experience to condemn Jiang Zemin and his associates for the inhumane crimes committed against Falun Gong practitioners; I call out from the depth of my heart to the Australian Government, media, organisations and all kind-hearted people to help those practitioners still suffering in China. Today I can stand here to clarify the truth, but tens of thousands of countless practitioners are in China suffering and enduring tortures, some even crueler than mine. They have nowhere to speak their opinion, nowhere to have their voices heard, and nowhere to appeal. They desperately need your help.
To all the kind-hearted people, please use righteous thoughts and together stop Jiang Zemin and his criminal associates from murdering innocent people. Let righteousness spread throughout the world so that human rights can be protected. Let this injustice be righted as soon as possible.
Attachment: The solemn statement of Pan Yu
I hereby declare that all the repentance statements I wrote under pressure in the labor camp be nullified. I will cultivate Dafa steadfastly, expose the evil and live up to the standards required for a genuine Dafa practitioner.
Pan Yu
April 20, 2001
