Searching for It throughout My Life

Former Buddhist nun from Taiwan Read in 1999 Falun Dafa Conference in Hong Kong

Hi, my fellow practitioners! My Buddhist name is Shi, Zheng-tong. In the past, I was a disciple of the previous Buddha. After attaining Falun Dafa, I am a disciple of today's Buddha. This article, though not well organized, does reflect my spiritual experience up to the present stage of my cultivation (spiritual refinement).

Since becoming a Buddhist nun, I had headed and taken charge of a Jing-she (a nunnery in Taiwan). Whiling practicing cultivation into day's Buddhist religion, I deeply sensed that I had not found a road of going home. I did not want to give up my spiritual pursuit, so I Left the place with determination. After all, the social prestige was not what I was after. As I found it impossible to change today's overall Buddhism cultivation environment, I had to start with myself.By overcoming numerous difficulties, I started to practice cultivation by traveling on foot and carrying a single bowl to feed myself (which was the original form of cultivation in Buddhism). Barefooted, with an umbrella, a sleeping beg and other travelling necessities on my back, I traversed one town after another in hot sun. My soles were bruised,cut, and festered. When I treaded on the scotching asphalt roads paved with broken stones, I felt the killing pain. I had slept on the burial grounds, below the trees and in the open field. The physical and mental tribulations that I had gone through were beyond description. What was all these for? It was to find a way to go home, and to find a genuine teacher who can bring me home.

At the beginning of 1998, I encountered a bottleneck in my cultivation and failed to break it through for a long time. One day, Falun Dafa practitioner Mr. Yu, Zhirong gave me a copy of "Zhuan Falun" (the main textbook of Falun Dafa). Back in my hut for cultivation, I raised the book above my head respectfully, and then opened the book. When I saw the picture of Teacher, my tears began to fall out. For some unknown reason, I seemed to be well aware of Teacher's status and background. I also strongly sensed that the teacher I had been seeking for was right in front of me. Looking back now, I realized that what happened was just as described by Teacher in "Returning to the Sacred Fruit Status through Predestined Affinity" in "Hong Yin" (Teacher's poem collection): "Seeking for the Teacher for many years, one day I Eventually meet him in person. Attaining the Fa (law and principle) and cultivating my way back, I return with Teacher after cultivation is complete." To me, the immense implications of Falun Dafa in the book were self-revealing. It is the manifestation of the great Buddha Law in the human society.

In my childhood, I was weak and often had illnesses. Because traditional Buddhism does not teach the cultivation of human life (or physical body), my health became worse after leaving home to practice cultivation in Buddhism. As a full-time cultivator, I had no job in society and all my living necessities were taken care of by kindheartedly Buddhists. I would have felt sorry if I had not practiced diligently enough. With the additional burden of medical costs, I felt even more ashamed and uneasy. For many years I had been seeking medical treatments to cure my diseases, but no improvements had been achieved,making me both physically and mentally tortured and extremely miserable. Due to years of illnesses, my cultivation was also heavily affected. I became exhausted and almost hopeless.

Because Falun Dafa cultivates both Xinxing (Heart-quality, Moral values) and Life (physical body), my health fully recovered very soon after I dedicated myself to the cultivation of Falun Dafa. Like a person reborn, I was revitalized and became joyful all over again.Since then I am totally freed from years of diseases and medication.Consequently I can also gain better understanding of Falun Dafa. This is the manifestation of the power of Falun Dafa, and the mighty virtues of the Teacher. Now, I not only diligently cultivate myself, but also go around to introduce it to others and learn from fellow practitioners. This is a big difference between Falun Dafa and the traditional Buddhism.

The differences between Buddhism and Falun Dafa in cultivation theory and the whole cultivation process are even bigger. Our great compassionate and benevolent Teacher for the first time revealed to the humankind all types of holy secrets about the universe and cultivation practice. He illustrated the status of the humankind in the universe and pointed out that human beings' goal of life is to return to their original, true selves. The cultivation practice of Falun Dafa is based on the assimilation to, and is guided by "Truth, Compassion and Tolerance"-the three prime characteristics of the universe. Falun Dafa touches directly on the human heart and makes it clear that the cultivation of Xinxing (mind or heart nature; moral character) is the key to developing the Gong (cultivation energy), and the level of Gong is dependent on the level of Xinxing. In addition, it has the following even more distinctive features:

Teacher looks at nothing but that we have a heart of cultivation, and he takes full care of us. The form of cultivation that Teacher taught us is loose in organization and free of stereo types and regulations.There is no fame, no interests, and no official titles involved. All Falun Dafa practitioners can be self-disciplined, and take the Fa (law and principles) as the teacher. Although Falun Dafa has no temples or churches, Falun Dafa practitioners spread all around the world.Regardless of weather conditions, they practice diligently on a daily basis. This is exactly the manifestation of "the Great Way has no forms". As far as I understand, "has no" means "has no limit", and"has" means "has limit". However big other cultivation ways are, they have limit. They need money and labor. Although Falun Dafa has no forms, Teacher told us to be law-abiding citizens, not to interfere with or get involved in politics, to be kind to anyone anywhere, to be always considerate to others and not to fight back when we're beaten or sworn at. He also teaches us not to blame others for conflicts and problems. Instead, we should look at ourselves for reasons. If we can not love our enemies, we will not reach cultivation completion."When it's difficult to endure, we can endure it. When it's impossible to do, we can do it." In "Non-leakage" and "Perfect Harmony"("Essentials for Diligent Advances") Teacher said that "There is giving in the Ren (forbearance), while a complete giving is a higher principle of non-leakage." No human languages can describe how compassionate and benevolent our Teacher is. Up to now, about 100 million people around the world have been touched by Falun Dafa. I hope everyone will get a copy of "Zhuan Falun" and fulfill the wish of one's repeated lives.

Recently, the propaganda machine of the Chinese government has staged a campaign of attacks against the Teacher. They never understand that the Teacher has almost exhausted himself for the sake of all lives. As a Falun Dafa disciple, I'm so much saddened, and yet do not know how to get angry. All Buddha's genuine disciples should be aware that, Buddha Sakyamuni mentioned that there were eighty-four thousand cultivation ways for cultivating Buddhahood; Buddhas are as many as the sands in the Ganges River; the Fa (law and principles) he had taught was like the earth on a fingernail, while the Fa he had not taught was like the earth on the ground. All Buddhas taught us not to commit any wrongdoings, to practice all kinds of good deeds, to be clean and disciplined in mind, and to take the promotion of the teachings as our duty. How can we be so forgetful? Although our Teacher does not have any particular social title, he sets the best example in everything he does, and brings every benefit but no harm to the universe, any nation,society or human groups. Instead of being grateful to our Teacher as they should, they did just the opposite, which is totally incomprehensible. This reminds me of an incident that had happened tome.

I have a habit of getting up early in the morning. One day after getting up, I looked at my alarm clock and realized it was only two o'clock. Therefore, I did an hour's reading before setting out for the practice site. When I arrived there, however, I realized that I was late for almost an hour. My alarm went far too slow. I was deeply struck by the incident: nowadays, many people have been playing the role of that alarm clock. Being short of propelling power, they are not only slowing down themselves, but also slowing down others. That is truly lamentable and disappointing.

Lately when I read "Hong Yin" (Teachers' poem collection), I could not stop sobbing. At his level and in his state, Teacher has no one to communicate with. In "Painstaking Salvation", Teacher said: "Steering in the ship of the Fa before the havoc, with countless hardships blocking the journey. Carrying the universe, broken and impaired,finally the ship docks after a long long dream." Basically it reveals all the holy secrets. Although Teacher has made it clear in lecturing on the Fa that we came down from different paradises and will return to different paradises, I still sincerely hope to be able to complete cultivation as soon as possible and end up in Teacher's Falun Paradise. How fortunate we are to be able to attain Falun Dafa in our lifetime!My fellow practitioners, let's cherish all we are bestowed and diligently practice towards the cultivation completion!

Teacher mentioned that our path of cultivation practice is pre-arranged by him. One morning, when I was riding a motorcycle on my way to the practice site, I was hit by a car driven by a drunken gentleman.Inside, I was aware that there would not be any problem. But my arm was broken and my wrist was disjointed. Therefore, I had to walk to the practice site to practice with other fellow practitioners. Since I could not ride the motorcycle, I had to live in two fellow practitioners' homes during that period. Thank them for their care taking and all other fellow practitioners for their concern. Teacher says suffering is paying back the debt of karma, and cultivation is not to be completed unless the debt of karma is paid off. What had happened to me was paying back the debt of karma accumulated from my previous lives. And I had to endure it myself. Thank the Teacher for also arranging the Xinxing trial for me when I went through the karma elimination. The conflicts I experienced meanwhile were the most prominent ever since I attained the Fa. I passed the trial anyway. But I couldn't help shedding tears when I read "Tempering the Heart and Will" from "Hong Yin" (Teacher's poem collection): "With cultivation completed, the Buddha Fruit Status is attained. Take hardships as blessings. Physical endurance is not hard, while cultivation of heart is most demanding. Every trial is to be passed, and everywhere you may encounter the devils. As sufferings come all together, let's see how you can survive?! After all hardships in human world are endured, there a Buddha appears out of the world." In my heart, I know that when every practitioner endures the trials, Teacher actually bears much more for us.It was the great virtues of the Teacher and the mighty power of Falun Dafa that enabled my broken arm and disjointed wrist to fully recover quickly without any medical treatment.

Since July 22, 1999, millions of Falun Dafa practitioners who practice the principles of "Truth, Compassion and Tolerance" in Mainland China have been persecuted to a frightening degree. Although Falun Dafa,which teaches good citizenship, improves people's moral character and helps stabilize society, has been recognized and honored around other world, it is being viciously slandered at and cracked down with national power by the Mainland Chinese government. Falun Dafa practitioners in jails, despite harsh tortures, persisted in the study of the Fa and the daily practice of the exercises. Some even sacrificed their lives. They helped establish the great virtues of Falun Dafa in the human society and defend the dignity of Falun Dafa. In addition, to defend Falun Dafa, numerous practitioners are made homeless and have to live in the streets and be starved. To tell the world the truth, Falun Dafa practitioners around the world have held many large-scale conferences and activities. I attended the conferences in Japan, Seattle and have signed up for the one to be held in Hong Kong. I witnessed the faith and experiences of fellow practitioners around the world and saw the gap I need to catch up. The difficulty we are experiencing, as I understand at my level, is our own difficulty. When such a great Fa of the universe is introduced and taught in the human society, how can there be no arrangements? Obviously, the external conditions are used to test every practitioner's faith in Falun Dafa.It was made crystal clear by Teacher in "Big Exposure" and "Position"of the book "Essentials for Further Advances".

Finally, sincere thanks for every element that makes this Falun Dafa conference possible. Thank you.

(Article published on Jan.14, 2000)