(Clearwisdom.net)

Hello, Master. Hello, fellow practitioners!

I took up Dafa cultivation in 1996. From a person who was full of karma, deeply immersed in ordinary fame, fortune, and emotion, and one who couldn't handle himself well, Master guided me towards Dafa, onto a path of returning to my original, true self, enabling me to become a Fa Rectification period Dafa disciple. Today I would like to share with all of you some of my experiences of looking within and eliminating attachments while working as a project coordinator.

In the past, I always thought that I'd done a lot of Dafa things and that I was able to face tests and tribulations with a smile. It seemed that I had very few quarrels with practitioners and ordinary people. For a time I had thought that those quarrels and arguments had nothing to do with me. I had never realized that I was a person with a big ego. Under the influence of my "protective shield," large and small attachments were like mountains obstructing my cultivation path. This ego created unnecessary interference in my own cultivation environment, especially in the cultivation environment of the Divine Land Marching Band. After I became the coordinator for the band, the selfish, deeply-embedded understandings that I hadn't even recognized, let alone cultivated, were exposed through my attachment to zealotry and showing off. For some time I overlooked the improvement and harmonizing of the Divine Land Marching Band as a whole. When I had different opinions with other coordinators, I didn't pay attention to the effect it would have on the whole cultivation environment, creating what seemed to be an intense conflict at the time. It was a huge test. When the conflict intensified, I still thought I was right. I held onto the mentality that other practitioners would support me. I purposely sought after veteran practitioners and told them about my situation in the Divine Land Marching Band. One of the practitioners frankly pointed out to me that the conflict situation between practitioners had been created by my attachment to fame and fortune. Her words startled me, as I had always thought that I was taking fame and fortune lightly, that whether someone was right or wrong, I'd already let that notion go as a coordinator. I thought that I was simply putting forward a fair argument. When I calmed down, I realized that there must be a reason that practitioners see me that way. The conflict must have arisen because I had an attachment that I hadn't yet let go of. I had created a very bad effect in the group cultivation environment, regardless of whether or not I had recognized my attachments.

Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference,"

"When two people have a conflict both should look for the causes within themselves, asking, "What problem do I have here?" Each should search for his own problem."

By measuring the situation against the Fa, I knew that the conflict was due to my attachment. It must be that I needed to raise my character. In the process of continually digging out the roots and looking within, I dared to look at my attachments for the first time. And I discovered a very deeply-hidden attachment, which was self, an attachment to stubborn understandings.

Zealotry and a showing off mentality was also the manifestation of selfish, stubborn understandings. When I looked within unconditionally, I discovered my sense of self was very strong. I thought I'd been studying Fa and doing the three things diligently. But today I realized that in the past I wasn't fully looking within. I'd always talked about how good we were as a band, treating problems we had as a group as looking within myself. In fact I was just going through the motions.

Self, I realized, is a fundamental characteristic of the old universe. It is the cause of the universe's destruction and disintegration. It is reflected in the fact that I wasn't willing to face my attachments. I remember a practitioner telling me that during a parade, I spoke in an unkind tone towards another practitioner, and hurt their feelings, which led to some practitioners leaving the group. I even defended myself. But although I might have been right, my strong tone and frustration had brought to the Divine Land Marching Band an uncompassionate field, affecting the harmonizing between band members. I wasn't able to consider other practitioners nor accommodate other people.

This was counter to what Master requires,

"With everything you should think of others--first think about others, and then think about yourself."
("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia")

Master also said in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles,"

"Why won't you accept criticism, and why do you keep focusing on other people? Why not cultivate inward and examine your own self? Why do you get agitated when you are criticized? How many of you seated here can keep at ease when someone points at you out of the blue and berates you? How many of you can stay unruffled and search for the reason on your part when faced with others' criticism and chiding?"

"Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments. If you always reject reproaches and criticism, always point your fingers at others, and always refute others' disapproval and criticism, is that cultivating?"

Measuring myself by Master's teachings, I felt ashamed!

I realized that the problems arose when my attachment to fame and fortune had been affected. When others didn't agree with me, aggravated me, or when I felt uncomfortable, wasn't it also because they impacted my attachment to fame and fortune? When I haven't let go of this, the conflict already exists. The evil in other dimensions can see it very clearly and create interference and tribulations among practitioners in what should be a peaceful, sacred environment. I was considering myself an ordinary person and blamed others for what they didn't do.

Master said,

"But they would never argue. They are in a state of immense tolerance, of mercy toward all beings, and of being able to understand everything with kindness. To put it in human terms, they're always able to be understanding of others." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")

Why couldn't I achieve this state of compassion? How can I accommodate other people if I am attached to myself? How can I deal with each cultivation issue with a tolerant, kind attitude? How can I walk each step of the Fa rectification path correctly? How can I resist fighting for my own benefits? When I can't look unconditionally at my shortcomings, I have actually deviated from the Fa, from Master's requirements.

I realized that I must cultivate away this selfishness completely. When it is longer there, where could the conflict arise? It's because my field was not pure nor compassionate enough that I affected other people's characters and affected the improvement of the environment, which gave the evil an excuse to interfere.

Master said in "Improving Character," in Zhuan Falun,

"If you are always compassionate and friendly to others, if you always consider other people when you do things, and whenever you have issues with other people you first think about whether they can take it or whether it will cause them harm..."

If I can conduct myself like this, the conflict will be benevolently resolved, because a being who exists entirely for others can only demonstrate goodness, tolerance and compassion. This being would think for others completely, and quietly harmonize, sacrifice and supplement where it's lacking. Later, the tests I went through helped me eliminate selfishness. I remember having different views in the way the Divine Land Marching Band should be training, and other coordinators said some disrespectful things to me. Afterwards I felt a little uneasy but I looked at it calmly and didn't react like I had in the past, pursuing an immediate result. With this attitude, practitioners suggested an even better way to train the band. I realized that when I really look within for problems, the cultivation field will become harmonious because it is a process of eliminating selfishness. But when I blame others, I will feel that everything is unfair, and get angrier and angrier, because I have deviated from Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I found that when I took a step back during problems sometimes I still wasn't able to control my character and would intensify the conflict, but when I let go of selfishness, the other party also looked within, because looking within is what Master requires of Dafa disciples. It is what feeds our cultivation. When both parties let go of self, our characters improve and the conflict is eliminated in an instant.

In "Lecture at the First Conference in North America," Master said,

"If when you find the real reasons within yourself you dare to face and recognize them, you will find that the matter instantly changes and the problem disappears. Suddenly, for no known reason, it will seem that no friction or matters have ever happened between you and the other person. This is because for a cultivator there's no such thing as coincidence, and no accidental occurrence is allowed to disrupt the course of your cultivation."

In Master's "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners," there were a few moments when Master was about to leave the conference hall but stopped. Master told us sincerely, "Look within." This is such a compassionate expectation from Master! I know that although I have a long road ahead of me in cultivation, and many character tests to face, I will keep looking within and gradually let go of self, cultivating into a selfless being in Dafa.

Finally I'd like to share with practitioners Master's poem from Hong Yin Vol II. It's called

"Rational and Awake"

Pause for a moment of self-reflection,
and increase your righteous thoughts
Thoroughly analyze your shortcomings,
and progress with renewed diligence"

Thank you, Master

Thank you, everyone!

These are just what I've enlightened to at my level. Please kindly correct anything inappropriate.