Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy
(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, my hidden attachment of jealousy kept rising to the surface. This attachment was an obvious reflection of the cooperation between my mother (a fellow practitioner) and me.
My home is utilized as a small station for duplicating truth-clarification CDs, and plays the role of supplementing a larger materials station in our area. Due to the progression of Fa-Rectification, validating the Fa and saving sentient beings has become urgent. The materials station at my home required a more solid foundation. In order to meet the needs of distributing of materials to more practitioners and allow me more time for Fa study, my mother came to help me.
However, the first day she arrived, my attachment of jealousy exposed itself. While watching her at the computer, I felt something missing in my heart. There was a subtle thought in my mind "Mom does not know computers and can only change CDs; the technical things have to taken care of by me. She should go do house chores". I hid these thoughts in my mind, and gradually started looking at my mother with critical eyes. I started to criticize her for studying the Fa while changing CDs, since I felt that this was disrespectful to Teacher and the Fa. I also criticized her for changing CDs while adjusting hand positions, that she could not enter tranquility, and as a result, had no positive effect (of sending forth righteous thoughts). I thought that I was aligned with the Fa, but in fact, the attachment of jealousy caused problems. I started feeling increasingly uncomfortable, but my knowing heart recognized jealousy.
I understood the Fa principle that jealousy must be eliminated, and looked inward for this attachment. First, I understood that I did not respect my mother, and judged that I possessed more technical skills and knowledge. Having my mother work on the project caused me to feel that the validating Fa project was being taken away from me. In fact, this was the attachment of validating myself. Thinking that my mother should not do this or that was actually showing off myself, and indicated that I could not listen to or take others' opinions, had a strong competitive mentality, and disliked criticism. All of these attachments were due to jealousy. I was determined to dig them out carefully and to completely disassemble and eliminate them.
Teacher's Fa teaching regarding jealousy kept reappearing in my mind:
"A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself..." ("Realms," Essentials for Further Advancement) .
If I could not eliminate the attachment of jealousy, wouldn't I be as bad as a wicked person? How could I be qualified to cultivate Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance? Teacher told us that anything appearing within our cultivation is a good thing. I want to utilize them as opportunities to improve "xinxing", eliminate the attachment of jealousy and at the same time follow Teacher's Fa. Let us form an indestructible group and not let evil forces take advantage of loopholes. This should enable us to make our materials station play a more important role.
I started a daily practice of sending forth righteous thoughts towards my attachment of jealousy, reinforcing the awareness of my true self and eliminating all interference from other dimensions. My mother underwent a significant change as well. I gradually realized and became clear regarding the Fa principle that living as a human being is not the goal, but rather it is to return to one's true self and the original place. I am determined to eliminate this attachment, and I believe that Teacher will help and guide me.