The Lesson I Learned about Harboring Attachments
(Clearwisdom.net) During a certain period of time, I had strong attachments to doing things, busy producing Falun Dafa books and truth-clarification materials all day long, while ignoring Fa-study. Teachers says,
"...no matter how busy you are you have to study the Fa. "("Touring North America to Teach the Fa")
"You cant do Dafa work without studying the Fa, or it would be an everyday person doing Dafa work. "("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference")
If the Fa is not in our mind or if we forget about the safety issue, the evil, which is watching ever vigilantly in other dimensions, will take advantage of our loopholes and try to destroy our opportunities to cultivate.
I had a regular group Fa-study meeting at my home for more than one year. However, we had begun to ignore the issue of safety as time went by. By following practitioners, hiding outside of my home and monitoring our activities, the police found out our meeting time. On June 20, 2006 the police first seized my husband, a non-practitioner, at the supermarket. My husband was detained for more than ten hours and was not released until after 10 p.m. that evening. Another group of police officers went to my son's workplace at the same time and forced him to lead the way to my home. My son is not a Falun Gong practitioner either. The police forced him to open our door so that they could get in.
All this happened very suddenly. Under such circumstances, my thoughts were not righteous enough. I was moved by my emotions and thought of nothing else except to blame my son, who was also detained until after 11 p.m. that evening. The police ransacked my home like bandits, taking away everything, including a computer, printer, truth-clarification materials, a cassette player, several hundred envelopes, printer paper (7 boxes), even DVDs of my family's home movies, hundreds of blank CDs and more. At 11 p.m., the police put us in the local detention center.
We staged a group hunger strike in the detention center and refused to cooperate with any of the evil's orders. We refused to recite the regulations of the detention center, wear the prisoners' uniforms or do forced labor. We only recited the Fa. We also supported each other, determining that we would be steadfast, reinforce our righteous thoughts, get rid of our attachments, and get out of the detention center with dignity. We tried to remember Teacher's words,
"...as long as that wicked person keeps being violent, keep sending righteous thoughts. "("Stop the Evil Acts with Righteous Thoughts").
About fifteen days later, staff from the public security bureau in the city came and announced that several practitioners were to be sent to the labor camp. However, my name was not included. The police told me that I would be given a heavier sentence. I tried to say to myself, "I will totally deny the old forces. I don't acknowledge them, and everything is a false illusion. Teacher will arrange everything for me." However, my heart was not steady. I thought to myself, "I will be given a longer sentence. What can I do after everyone has gone and only I am left? I will be too lonely. " All sorts of wild thoughts ran through my mind and I was unable to recite the Fa, nor did I have righteous thoughts.
After that, whenever I heard the turning of the lock in the iron gate, my heart would beat very fast: Are the police coming for me? I knew I was not in the right state, but I couldn't get rid of my fear. The evil saw my fear and started persecuting me. Several days later, I was separated from the other practitioners and put into another cell. Teacher said,
"As Ive said, everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples thoughts." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.").
Wasn't my separation from other practitioners the result of my thoughts? Wasn't it caused by my own pursuit? Wasn't I acknowledging the old forces' arrangements? A voice deep inside said, "Don't let your thoughts run wild. Calm down." I instantly realized that it was Teacher reminding me. Teacher is always beside me and looking after me. Why should I be afraid?
When I really calmed down, I realized that my fear had been too strong. I had too many attachments. I did not have complete faith in Teacher and Dafa, and I had not let go of life and death. I remembered Teacher's poem "Don't Be Sad" from Hong Yin II,
"Imprisoned as you are,
dont be sorrowful or sad
Carry on with righteous thoughts and actions,
and the Fa is with you
Calmly reflect on the attachments you have
Remove your human thoughts
and evil will naturally die out"
I realized that I had not been studying the Fa solidly, and I had not cultivated well. My attachments to fighting, showing-off and doing things often surfaced. I also lacked compassion. Because of my many attachments, I had huge omissions. I hadn't been responsible to Dafa and to fellow practitioners' safety. I caused a great loss to our area, and this was a big lesson to learn.
When I was in the Fa again, my fear disappeared. I no longer felt lonely, and I only wanted to keep up my determination. I must do the three things required by Teacher wherever I was. I also needed to study the Fa, do the exercises, clarify the truth and send forth righteous thoughts. I started clarifying the truth to the police and the inmates. I told them about the evil of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), the facts behind the Tiananmen "self-immolation", and how the CCP defamed Falun Gong, persecuted Falun Gong practitioners, and deceived people. All the inmates in my cell who had once joined the CCP and its related organizations withdrew, some claiming that they would stay away from the CCP forever. Some police officers also withdrew with aliases after they learned the facts.
Later on, the public security bureau issued an arrest warrant and asked me to sign it. I refused. Instead, I clarified the truth to the police. The evil just wanted to test my faith, but they are not worthy. I would just be steadfast in Dafa, while Teacher would arrange my future. Only Teacher's words count. Only then did I realize what righteous thoughts are. Righteous thoughts come from the Fa. If we don't have faith in Master or Dafa, we will not have righteous thoughts. The precondition of getting rid of attachments is to study the Fa well.
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference")
Under Teacher's compassionate care and all Dafa practitioners' righteous thoughts, I was able to walk out of the detention center with dignity two months later.