I Would Still Want to Be a Falun Dafa Disciple If I Were to Choose Again (Part 2)
5. Take the Fa as the Teacher, and be firm in great tribulation
In the process of constructing a materials site, we faced the crazy obstruction of the old forces, and found it necessary to be even more calm and clear-minded, to remove all the difficulties, take the Fa as our Teacher, and completely eradicate the arrangement of the old forces.
Once during the process of constructing our material site, two main coordinators were accused and were forced to leave their homes. The Provincial Police Department searched everywhere to catch them. This added more difficulties to the materials site, which had already been experiencing hardship.
Some practitioners said the Provincial Police were checking the IDs of pedestrians at main intersections (I did not have ID at the time). Some practitioners said police were going door to door, searching computers connected to the Internet. Most of us who participated in constructing the material site wavered. Some suggested we move the materials site to another area, others suggested we temporarily suspend construction. I told them this was interference by the old forces, we could not follow their arrangement, that we absolutely could not move the materials site, as it would acknowledge them. Some practitioners said that I was not responsible to the Fa and was not responsible for the whole body. Some practitioners said that I had strong attachment to self and did not consider others.
Only two other practitioners supported me. Even I had a strong fear in my heart. But I knew I could not retreat and let the arrangement of the old force be realized. Under this great pressure, I still insisted that if the hearsay were true, and if I were discovered on the internet, I would bear all the responsibility myself. So I stayed in the computer room myself. The sky was grey with drizzle, and my heart was very heavy. I was sending righteous thoughts while downloading materials. Suddenly I felt my whole life belonged to Dafa and that the heaviness in my heart was all the sentient beings poisoned by lies. With the mission of saving all sentient beings, how could I be fearful'''--...-- What was there that I could not put down'''--...--
Once I assisted a materials site by teaching fellow practitioners some Internet techniques. Before they had learned the techniques very well, some hearsay spread to us. Some practitioners got "accurate" news that Jiang Zemin was coming. It seemed to become more and more real, and practitioners felt more and more upset. One of the main practitioners learning the techniques stopped, with the excuse that she wanted to go to her mother's home. The other practitioners also stopped coming, and I was the only one left. I felt afraid. I knew that although this city was small, the evil was rampant. The number of practitioners who were arrested and who were tortured to death here was high.
During that period the sky was always filled with dark clouds and the rain was unceasing. Under the atmosphere of terror created by the old forces, my heart bore huge formless and essential pressure. One day, I saw a paragraph of Teacher's lecture,
"What I'm telling you is that when you're truly able to let go of the thought of life or death you can do anything!"
(Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference)
The haze in my heart suddenly disappeared, and was replaced by shooting light. I was filled with infinite strength. I had righteous thoughts and the strength to level off the hilltop. I firmly believed that the current of Fa rectification is irresistible. I knew that the plot of the old forced was completely aborted. This materials site has been operating safely to this day.
6. It is cultivation, not doing a job
I know that computers and printers are all living beings. They also need to position themselves during the Fa rectification. When they cooperate with me, I often sing songs composed by Dafa disciples for them, or read a paragraph of Teacher's Fa to them. Therefore the computers and printers that I have used all have a good relationship with me, and we cooperate tacitly when we work.
I have taught about twenty practitioners the computer techniques. These people are of different ages and education levels. Ever since I taught the first practitioner, I took the teaching process as cultivation, not teaching the techniques of the human world. I kept accumulating and summing up experience, to compile the best strategy for practitioners to learn the Internet techniques, typesetting and printing in the shortest time. During this process, my heart was often tested.
An elderly practitioner, about 60 years old, could not learn how to double click the mouse in any way. I felt that my patience has reached its limit. I really did not want to continue to teach her. At this time I remembered Teacher's lecture in New Zealand, a practitioner asked teacher a question about her husband staying in the status of eliminating illness karma for a long time. Teacher said,
"There is another problem. If his family member is also a disciple and he regards this as important, it is also an attachment and will delay this thing. I have to consider your consummation and be responsible for your improvement. Not only be responsible for him but also to remove your attachment.
"You have to be a genuine cultivator, truly progress diligently, and be able to let go of anything. See what can happen. If you hold onto certain things with extreme emotions it will become a big attachment, and in turn it will affect others."
'''--...--(Lecture at the Conference in New Zealand)
I understood that the more my heart became agitated, the more tribulation I unconsciously added to her, and the slower she learned. I put down my impatient heart, and eventually she grasped it.
Since November 2001, I have been submitting articles to Minghui. I just had one thought at that time: support Minghui. I wrote of my experience clarifying the truth and the scenes that I saw through my celestial eye. I saw that the articles written by fellow practitioners were clear-minded. I admired them very much because I did not know how to write political commentary articles.
Once I wanted to write an article targeting the damage by evil in our area. When I had just started to write the article, I found my attachment to showing off kept turning up, I seemed unable to inhibit it. I stopped and pressed my hand in front of my chest, I said in my heart, this is validating Dafa, not validating myself. I cannot show off myself. The purpose of writing the article is to let fellow practitioners read it and learn something. I must purify my heart." I do not know how long I pressed my hand to my heart in front of my computer; I do not know how many times I repeated the word. After I became calm, I was able to finish the article quickly. Most fellow practitioners felt it was very good after reading it. I knew it was Master who opened my wisdom.
After this time, I found that my attachment to showing off was unconsciously removed to a large degree, and the purpose of writing articles became more and more clear, my heart become more and more pure. I always carefully read the parts of my articles that Minghui volunteers had modified. Although the modifications were small, I saw the solid xinxing of the Minghui editors. The part that was not compassionate enough or not accurate enough become very good after modification. I also saw the shortcomings in my cultivation and made efforts to improve in this respect.