5/10/2003

Each time I sent forth righteous thoughts, I added the thought, "I will resolutely deny the arrangements of the old forces." I never gave much thought to just how much I recognized their arrangements. I only knew from Teacher's lectures that the old forces of the cosmos arranged the persecution. We can reject their arrangements so long as we maintain strong righteous thoughts. I used to be very timid and anxiety-ridden. I tended to worry a lot. I could not stand adversity and bear hardships well, so I had not cultivated diligently along the path of Fa rectification, especially in clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. Through Fa study I realized that my deficiency was due to unseen fundamental attachments. I had often agonized over my helplessness, preventing me from steadfastly walking the path of Fa rectification, but now realized that this was due to the attachments formed inside my heart over so many years.

A while back I became worried again, fretting about how to distribute some truth clarification materials. I ended up not practicing well, unable to concentrate on Fa study, and encountered a certain amount of interference while sending righteous thoughts. I even felt an unconscious kind of feeling of giving up. By studying the Fa, however, I recognized my weaknesses, such as my fear, my worry, and my poor tolerance for adversity.

Though they appeared as weaknesses in my character, in fact they were my fundamental attachments. These attachments had been formed postnatally. They were arranged step by step by the old forces in order to accomplish their objectives. Today, these fundamental attachments have become roadblocks on my Fa-rectification path. I also recognize it to be a persecution of practitioners' consciences by the old forces. It was not easily detected, as it was deeply rooted. It causes us to hesitate, to falter, to be indecisive and our main consciousness to be weak. For quite some time I thought that was how my path of cultivation was meant to be. Even after I dug out my fundamental attachments I did not have the courage to abandon them, further causing me to waver in my cultivation.

After recognizing my attachments, I must then remove them with all my strength. The only way is to follow Teacher's words and intensify my study of the Fa. Teacher stated,

We must study the Fa thoroughly and well, and raise our level from the Fa. We must not fail to live up to Teacher's salvation. We should walk every one of our steps well.

I wrote down my thoughts to share with my fellow practitioners for mutual encouragement. Please kindly point out my shortcomings and inadequacies.

Let us go over Teacher's words again,

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