After our Teachers latest poem The Knowing Heart was published on May 22, I read it over and over, feeling a great shame and uneasiness. Frankly, in the past six months, I had done nothing to safeguard the Fa. Instead I had always been attached to doing well in my job, and had been immersed in the mud of numerous attachments, such as love for parents, love between a man and a woman, friendship, and so on. On April 25, May 11 and May 13, while witnessing fellow practitioners around me made selfless sacrifices, I did nothing. I remembered one fellow practitioner saying to me on April 25, before going to Tiananmen Square, When other practitioners succeed in safeguarding the Fa, how will we face them? He was right. If we do not participate in safeguarding the Fa, how can we establish the mighty virtues?

Eventually I made a step forward with great difficulty. I had planned to make a banner and choose a special day to step out, but I suddenly became extremely busy with my work, and then my former schoolmates warmly invited me to have meals together in order to change my belief. Moreover, I began to Xiaoye (eliminate karma) -- suffering from physical discomforts. Superficially, it was obvious that they were all deterring me from stepping out, but after carefully examining these things, I became deeply aware that all were actually testing me to see what I really focused on - the Fa, ordinary human society, or curing my "illness".

On the morning of May 29, I received a long-distance phone call from my parents. At first my father deceived me by saying that my mother was critically ill. After I pointed it out, my mother cried loudly on the other side of the phone. At that time, I felt very upset and could not continue the talk any more, so we agreed to talk again in the evening. Afterwards I was enlightened immediately that if I would not step out of the human confines then, when would I? Therefore, that morning, I talked to my boss directly and arranged my work. In the afternoon, I went to Tiananmen Square nobly and fearlessly. Of course, I had not made the banner; instead I chose to practice Falun Gong exercises in the square.

At dusk, cool wind was blowing on Tiananmen Square. In addition to tourists, patrolling police vans were very conspicuous. At that time I felt a bit like having a tour, without any tragic feeling; instead I felt everything was so natural and it just occurred as it should be. Wandering around the square, I tried to find a place to do sitting meditation exercise, but I just could not find an appropriate one. I was wondering if I was not ready in my mind, or if I was afraid that my practice would spoil the fun of the tourists. Later, I recited Teacher's article Genuine Cultivation in my mind: Whether you can abandon the everyday persons mindset is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple of genuine cultivation must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a practitioner and an everyday person. What couldnt I relinquish? Thinking of this, I felt at ease and sat at the center of the square with my eyes closed. At this moment, I felt Falun, the energy wheel, slightly rotating in my lower abdominal area.

About five minutes later, a police van came over and stopped just behind my back. A police behind me said to me in a fairly soft tone, Stop practicing, put on your shoes and get on the van. I complied with a smile on my face. I saw many tourists looking in my direction, muttering to each other about this. I was sent to the Tiananmen police substation, as many fellow practitioners had mentioned.

It seemed that the police in the substation had been used to this kind of arrest. One officer commented when I passed by, These Dafa practitioners are all .... What he wanted to say seemed to be that all the practitioners were calm and had a smile on their faces when entering the substation. One policeman took me to a room, and I sat calmly in front of him and answered his questions. He asked, Where are you from? I said, I am working in Beijing, so I can be regarded as a Beijing resident. He said, No. I meant, where is your original registered permanent residence? I said, I can't tell you this. He then asked me, Whats your name? I said, a Dafa practitioner. He asked, Where do you live? I answered, If I tell you this, you will ransack my home. Police said, We definitely wont do that. I said, Your fellow policemen will do that; there is no difference. He said, Dont you advocate Truth, Compassion and Tolerance? We should respect each other. I respect you, and you should also respect me and co-operate with my work. I didnt say anything.

The Police continued, What academic degree do you hold, bachelor, master or Ph.D.? Are you a teacher? I said, You can take your time to guess. There is a lot of time. He then tried to ask many other questions, and I told him directly, Please stop beating around the bush. I didn't come here for cooperating with your work, but for safeguarding the Fa. You can put me directly into the jail for one year, two years, three years, or four years, or even cut off my head; I wont mind.

The police replied, You want to be in the jail. Who do you think you are? We dont arrest a good person here, and we wont let one bad person escape either. If all of you are put in jail, where can we put those robbers, murderers, and burglars? We wont beat you, because all of you dont fight back when being beaten or sworn at. Once we beat you, we will give De (virtues) to you. Arent you too selfish? I then asked him about the death of Beijing Dafa practitioner Mei Yulan in police custody several days before. He had nothing to say. So I said, So many Dafa practitioners have risked their lives to come to Beijing. All they want to do is just to tell you the truth, dont you think so? The policeman was speechless.

Later, I was kept in the iron cage. There were more than 10 other practitioners there who hadnt told their names. They had all unfurled banners in the square and had similar experiences. None of them had been beaten, but only asked some questions. We recited LunYu [On Buddha Fa] and Hong Yin [the collection of poems] incessantly.

After nine oclock in the evening, five of our practitioners were asked to get on a van again. At first we thought that they would take us to the detention center; however, we were sent to the remote wild field and released there. Later, I heard that other practitioners were all released in Tiananmen police substation.

After I came back and shared the experiences with some fellow practitioners, I learned that, several days ago, one practitioner went to Tiananmen Square to unfurl the banner and was beaten black and blue. She lost consciousness. After dousing her with cold water, they continued to beat her, but she still did not tell her name in the end. Then she was thrown in the wild field. Early next morning, the police were worried and drove back to see if she had been beaten to death. But this practitioner was not there any more. From then on until today, it is said that police in Tiananmen police substation no longer beat practitioners and practitioners would be released pretty soon. Practitioner were used to be detained for one or two days. Later, as in my case, I was released after only several hours. I knew clearly that, practitioners in the past had sacrificed so much, and they had trodden a path for us. But we, the practitioners who have not stepped out so far, are still hesitating, wondering and puzzling, even haggling with our Teacher. We are too small. Even the police in Tiananmen police substation said, You, who have come at this time, are coming to enjoy the fruits. Take a look at those who came on Chinese Spring Festival!

Our Teachers rectification of the Fa is inevitable. In the course of it, practitioners hearts are tested. Please stop finding any excuse for not being able to step out. Everyone (I also came across some other everyday people), even police in Tiananmen police substation have understood it. We, who claim Dafa practitioners, are cultivators who came down from the higher levels to assist our Teacher in what he is doing the human world, how do we keep our promises made a long time ago?

A practitioner in China
June 2, 2000