(Minghui.org) I’m a Falun Dafa (also called Falun Gong) practitioner born in the 90s. I feel ashamed for not walking my cultivation path steadily, and feel that I’m not worthy of the sacred honor of being called a Dafa disciple. Still, our compassionate Master Li has never given up on me and has been by my side at all times.
Hearing About Falun Dafa When Very Young
I was about five or six years old when I first heard about Falun Dafa. I vaguely remember my mom bringing home a portrait of Master sitting on a lotus flower, and hearing the words “Falun Gong.” I had a very good feeling then, and I often heard adults around me talking about it. It must have been when Falun Gong started spreading in our area.
Once, a friend of mine came to my house to play, and I told her that adults around me were practicing Falun Gong. She said her grandma was also practicing some form of qigong, but it wasn’t Falun Gong.
“Why doesn't she practice Falun Gong? Falun Gong is the best,” I said. She said the qigong her grandma practiced was also good. I didn’t say anything, but in my heart, I believed Falun Gong was the best.
I didn’t understand much about Falun Gong at that young age. When I saw adults doing the exercises, I stood behind them and followed along with their movements. However, those nice days didn’t last long, and the words “Falun Gong” faded from my memory. Later, I understood that things had changed because the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Gong and banned the practice.
Ten years passed quickly. One day, when I was in high school, my mom’s former colleague came to our home. I always felt that he seemed a bit mysterious and secretive whenever he was with us.
Mom told me, “He still practices Falun Gong, but the government no longer allows us to do so.”
I remembered Falun Gong from when I was young, so I tried to unobtrusively listen to their conversation. When I heard the word “cultivation,” it instantly sparked a thought—wait, isn’t cultivation about becoming an immortal? Wow, it sounds wonderful! Why am I only hearing about it now?
That evening, I asked Mom how to cultivate. She wasn’t practicing Dafa at the time, so she said, “Well, there is a book and five exercises.” She didn’t have much education and couldn’t give me a more detailed answer.
I rushed to the study and found the book Zhuan Falun, which Mom had kept for 10 years. It looked brand new and neat. I opened it and saw Master’s photo. He looked so compassionate and familiar. As I read the book, I began to understand the true meaning of life, the purpose of our coming to the human world, and that Falun Dafa can guide people to go beyond the cycle of death and reincarnation.
Dafa taught me that people do not truly die when they pass away. The human world is not their true home, and through cultivation, they can return to their heavenly home. It was then that I decided to practice Falun Dafa.
Although it was my intention at the time, I didn’t truly cultivate until six years later. Looking back on my bumpy path to obtaining the Fa, I can’t help but marvel at how harsh the mortal world can be.
I often thought: If only I had obtained the Fa earlier, I wouldn’t have suffered so many hardships and created so much karma during my youth. Those who have an affinity with me could have learned the facts about Falun Dafa. However, they missed the chance because of my poor enlightenment quality and inadequate cultivation efforts.
Master said in a lecture:
“In fact, I’ve found that this thread of predestined relationship has been, for the most part, pulling people along, taut. No one has been left out and all of them are obtaining the Fa. The only difference lies in the degree of diligence and progress.” (“Fa Teaching Given in New York City,” Teachings at Conferences in the United States)
I feel that only Master’s boundless compassion and immense sacrifices for us kept me tied to Dafa during the years I wandered, lost and aimless, in the mortal world.
Master Has Always Been by My Side
One day, I had an argument with my mom, and I felt it was too difficult to cultivate. After failing numerous xinxing tests, I thought I might as well give up and let it all go.
That night, I had a long dream in which I was driving a big bus, taking some people along a narrow mountain road that ran beside a river. I was driving smoothly, but suddenly, the bus veered toward the river. I instantly recited “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” in my heart, and the bus returned to the road.
As we progressed, the road became steeper and more difficult. So I stopped, got off the bus, and someone else took over the driving.
In another part of the dream, I was crammed onto the back of a tractor with a few people, and I felt I was about to tumble off.
When I woke up, I realized Master was giving me a hint, encouraging me not to give up cultivation. Just then, my mom rushed into my room and said excitedly, “I saw our house enveloped in a shimmering golden-red light when I was outside, and I almost thought I was at the wrong house. Come and quickly take a look!”
But I didn’t see anything when I went out. I knew that when the COVID-19 pandemic broke out, Master placed a protective shield over the homes of all Dafa disciples. By allowing my mom to see it, he was encouraging us to make a decision—to either continue cultivating or give it up.
In fact, I have had many miraculous experiences since I began truly cultivating in Dafa.
One day, I lay down to rest a bit after doing the early morning exercises. I felt my body, lying flat, begin spinning clockwise, then counterclockwise, and then fly out the window towards the sky, passing some high mountains, rivers, and the occasional person, before flying back to my bed.
On another occasion, as my body was flying out the window, I felt a severe headache. A pair of large, soft hands stroked the sides of my head and face. Then, they held my hands and guided them to make forward and backward rotating motions in front of my chest, movements resembling the turning of a Falun (Law Wheel). I used to struggle with headaches at the back of my head for a long time. Master was correcting the problem in my brain.
In two other similar incidents, Master adjusted my back problems, and I could clearly feel the warm energy from Master’s hands and Master’s compassion, without holding my laziness and waywardness against me at all.
Master Asked, “Where Is Your Homework?”
A few nights ago, in a dream, Master was teaching us in a classroom. My classmate asked a question. After Master answered, he turned to me with a smile and asked, “Where is your homework?”
“Master, you didn’t give us any homework,” I replied in confusion.
Master didn’t say anything, still smiling.
I looked at the open textbook on the table and saw a lesson titled “Ancestral Song.” I asked Master, “Am I supposed to copy it?” Master nodded.
“Well, that’s easy. I can recite it from memory, so there’s is no need to copy it,” I said.
“Then, recite it,” Master said. So, I started reciting the text. After I recited one paragraph, I asked Master if I had done it correctly. Master nodded and said, “Yes.”
Then I said to Master, “Just ask me questions. I’m sure I can answer them all, but they might not be in the right order.”
Master didn’t say anything, just looked at me. I burst into tears, and no matter how hard I tried to wipe them away, they kept coming. I tried to explain to Master, but he didn’t say anything; he just smiled at me. I kept crying and felt really miserable.
In the end, I sadly asked, “Master, do you think I cannot achieve consummation in cultivation?” Master, still smiling, didn’t answer.
Suddenly, I woke up and realized it was a dream, but I had shed many tears and my eyes were sore from crying.
I asked myself, “What is my homework?” Suddenly I remembered the homework Master assigned to all Dafa disciples—to do the three things. How much have I accomplished?
For a long time, I wasn’t able to complete all the exercises; my mind was all over the place when sending forth righteous thoughts; when clarifying the truth to people, I was occasionally distracted by human attachments, and could only explain the facts about Falun Dafa and the persecution in small chunks. For those who didn’t accept what I said, I had little sympathy and thought, “I’ve done what I needed to do. It’s your problem whether you listen to me or not.”
My selfish heart was cold, lacking the kindness and compassion expected of a Dafa disciple.
In my dream, Master didn’t say any harsh words to me, yet I felt miserable for not doing my homework.
Through countless reincarnations and drifting for tens of thousands of years, life has held more bitterness and desolation than sweetness. Amid the suffering, I was fortunate to obtain the Fa, the eternal sacred bond that should never be broken.
I aim to quickly let go of my many human attachments through diligent cultivation and to be truly worthy of Master’s immense compassion and the precious cultivation opportunity he has provided us.
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