Letting Go of My Thought Karma, Return To Cultivation – Doing Well the Three Things

(Minghui.org) My father and I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1994. I saw other practitioners being persecuted and Master being wronged after the persecution began on July 20, 1999, and felt sad about it, often shedding tears. I went to Beijing to speak up for justice, and was arrested as soon as I arrived at Tiananmen Square. I was then returned and detained in the local police station for more than 20 days. After returning home, I went to work in another city to avoid surveillance and harassment by police. I thus lost my group cultivation environment, and missed out on the opportunity of Fa-rectification cultivation for more than 20 years.

Because I had only a very basic understanding of cultivation, once I entered the big dye vat of ordinary society, I did some wrong things due to attachments that I couldn’t let go of. Because of these things, I was hindered from returning to Dafa cultivation, and I developed the thought that I may not be worthy of obtaining the Fa again, which pained my heart.

My father passed away from the persecution, for which I blamed myself and felt deeply guilty. I wondered if I had enlightened earlier and returned to Dafa, could I have helped him when he was going through the tribulation? While looking within, I made up my mind to return to cultivation. One night my son, who didn’t practice cultivation, suddenly said to me, “Mom, you can’t cultivate with a guilty heart, or with any other attachment.” This shocked me. I knew that Master was enlightening me through his words.

Through studying the Fa, I realized that my life during those years was based on an arrangement by the old forces, and I had fallen into their trap. Other practitioners, like me, were also blocked from cultivating. I hoped that the practitioners who had the same experience as me would wake up quickly, stop following the arrangements of the old forces, and no longer be lost among ordinary people.

I recall the practitioners who obtained the Fa with me. We were all in high school at the time, often practiced together and studied the Fa, and exchanged cultivation experiences. That time was simple, beautiful, and happy. After the persecution started, however, some of us fell into the attachments of fame, wealth, and sentimentality among ordinary people. Because we did not study the Fa for a long period of time, we were using the declining moral standards to judge ourselves, thinking that we were better than others. But we did not know how dangerous this situation was. After returning to Dafa, I made up my mind to cultivate well and do the three things well. I let go of the attachments, including the love of beauty, and online games. Because of my attachments, I owed nearly 200,000 yuan on credit cards. I felt that practitioners should not owe money, and I planned to pay off all my debts within a year. Unexpectedly, it took me only two months to pay off all the debts. I knew that Master helped me, and had not given up on me.

I realized I was currently practicing both personal cultivation and Fa-rectification cultivation at the same time. I treated myself as a new practitioner and started all over again. I felt that Master had never loosened the requirements for my cultivation. I experienced karma elimination in my body and improvement in my xinxing almost every day. My biggest obstacle while cultivating was thought karma and external interference. It would often pop up when I studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, or sent forth righteous thoughts. I sometimes couldn’t suppress it even after sending forth righteous thoughts. I was so frustrated. I later realized that I had initially recognized it as coming from me, so it kept coming out to interfere with me. After improving through the Fa study, I enlightened that it was not me. I used my strong main consciousness to distinguish this, and said to it, “You are not me. If you come out, I will eliminate you!” After a period of time, although it would still occasionally emerge, I quickly recognized it and eliminated it. Through continuous Fa study, I gained a better understanding of the Fa, and felt the power of Dafa. Studying the Fa was also constantly eliminating the thought karma. It is not as strong as before, my mind became more and more calm, and I am not as impetuous as before.

I tried to clarify the truth to the people around me. My friends and relatives gradually understood that I was doing this for their own good. Most of them accepted it and withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. However, I am still not good at clarifying the truth to strangers. I hope that as I become more and more mature, study the Fa, and constantly improve myself, I will become more capable of clarifying the truth and saving people.

Not long ago, I was called by the neighborhood administration office, and I thought this was a test I had to go through. At that time, my mother (a Dafa practitioner) was worried and said she would go for me. I said no, thinking, “I am an upright Dafa practitioner. I am going there today to clarify the truth.” I sent righteous thoughts before going. When I arrived, I saw two police officers waiting for me. The director saw me, and poured me a cup of tea, and they began to interrogate me. I said to them cheerfully, “See how my mental state is?” They said, “It is much better than in previous years.” I talked about the benefits of practicing Dafa and said that there was no law or regulation in the country saying that Dafa is not good. One officer immediately replied, “It’s true.” I said, “You are blessed.” I continued, “Why do so many practitioners risk being persecuted to clarify the truth? Isn’t it just to save people?” I saw something different in the eyes of the officers. I chatted with them and drank two cups of tea before I went home. There were eight or nine people in the office at that time.

I am doing my best to awaken the former practitioners around me. If it doesn’t work the first time, I try again. If it doesn’t work the second time, I continue trying. I know that some people may not come back, but I still try my best to do what I can. Perhaps we once came to the world together, and maybe we once said we would remind each other, but now they are lost among ordinary people, or the old forces are using their attachments to block them from returning to Dafa cultivation practice. We all came for the Fa, and everything we are attached to is just a passing cloud. I hope they can break through the old forces’ obstacles come back as soon as possible, and fulfill their vows. Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!