My Cultivation Insights While Eliminating Karma

(Minghui.org) I had gallstones before I began practicing Falun Dafa, and I was in extreme pain. Soon after I started practicing I had a physical examination at my workplace which revealed that my gallstones disappeared and my gallbladder was healthy.

However, over the years, the pain occasionally resurfaced—sometimes when I was angry, or when I didn’t have enough righteous thoughts while distributing Dafa materials, and sometimes when I slacked off in doing the exercises.

If I quickly discovered where I fell short and corrected myself or I was determined to correct my shortcomings, the pain disappeared. If I discovered my shortcomings but hesitated to correct them or found excuses to not correct them, or if I couldn’t identify them, the pain persisted. Eventually, through Fa study and sending righteous thoughts, I identified my attachments and passed the tribulation.

I haven’t taken my gallstone flare-ups seriously. On the one hand, I felt I had enough experience to overcome them quickly, which was an arrogant thought. On the other hand, because it did not happen often I chose to ignore it. However, a recent relapse taught me a lesson and I gained some insights which I’d like to share with you.

When the first signs of gallstone pain began I knew I hadn’t practiced the exercises that morning, so I immediately began to do them. In the middle of the second set, I thought that maybe in one of my past lives I caused a “being” a lot of pain. I practiced Dafa for more than twenty years, but this “being” still refused to let it go. I must have hurt it badly and now I had to endure. This thought brought tears to my eyes, and I sensed compassion growing in me. However, after this thought flashed by, the pain surged strongly, becoming unbearable. I knew that I should continue doing the exercises. I recited in my heart, “When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun) I also asked Master to help me. The pain gradually subsided, and I was able to finish the exercises.

Recalling that thought, I enlightened that it was not mine. I didn’t think Master wanted me to eliminate karma by enduring such excruciating pain.

The gallstone pain was on and off for seven days, at least once a day, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours. I looked within during this time.

I knew that every thought a cultivator has is important, just as Master said, “We have said that good or bad comes from a person’s initial thought...” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) When the pain began I accepted this test which was imposed on me by the old forces, thus I allowed this tribulation to happen to me. As a Falun Dafa practitioner during Fa rectification who shoulders the responsibility of saving people, I should do things according to Master’s requirements, instead of accepting the old forces’ arrangements.

Moreover, I believed that I had enough past experience to conquer the tribulation, an arrogant thought and an attachment to oneself, which I must eliminate. Each time I encountered a tribulation I begged Master to help me. He always endured the pain that I could not.

I remembered that during one of those painful days I had the thought: “Cultivation is to cultivate oneself.” So I began to study Master’s teachings given around the world. Through Fa study, I discovered that I hadn’t behaved like a practitioner during the past two years while living with my mother. She is also a practitioner and has been enduring sickness karma and I blamed her for not cultivating diligently. My intention was to help her do better and pass the tribulation. I lacked patience and kindness when I spoke to her, and regretted it afterwards. This vicious cycle kept repeating.

The day after I first had my gallstone pain, I felt better and cooked noodles for my mother. I didn’t have an appetite so I didn’t eat any myself. However, she told me that the noodles were too hard. I felt that she didn’t appreciate my effort even though I cooked for her while I was in discomfort. I totally forgot to reflect on myself. I restrained myself and didn’t say anything to her. My daughter witnessed the exchanges between me and my mother. I thought I endured well and told my daughter, “See, I didn’t say anything back to Grandma.” A few minutes later, the gallstone pain struck again. The old forces seized on my loophole of not truly cultivating myself, and persecuted me.

I realized that I had no compassion for my mother, which the old forces used to inflict pain on me. So I began to change. First, I spoke to my mother kindly. When she did something I didn’t like I examined myself to see if I did anything wrong. By cultivating myself, I was able to eventually pass the test under Master’s protection.

I still have many attachments I need to eliminate. I should also pay attention to fully negating the old forces and not go along with them. I have confidence that I’ll do well because I have Master and I practice Falun Dafa. As long as I firmly walk the cultivation path arranged by Master, and truly cultivate myself, I can negate the interference and eliminate my attachments.

This is my limited understanding. Please point out anything not in line with the Fa.

Thank you, Master!