How My Grandson Helped Me Improve My Temper

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Faun Dafa in 1997. For years, my routine has been studying Master’s Fa in the morning, doing housework, and going out to clarify the truth after lunch. I return home before my grandchildren get back from school. Except for occasional group activities, this is my daily life. I’d like to share how I cultivate my character while caring for my youngest grandson.

I live with my elder son in a bustling household. I have two grandsons and a granddaughter. My younger grandson (he is my younger son’s child, lives with my elder son’s family, age 11), is mischievous, disobedient, and prone to lying. He neglected his studies, loved playing video games, ignored my calls to wake him up, and sometimes rushed to school without washing his face. This frustrated me deeply, and I often criticized his flaws, feeling angry enough to discipline him physically. However, as a Dafa practitioner, I knew I had to restrain myself, even though I struggled with resentment.

Master said,

“Some people will lose their temper in disciplining children and yell at them, making quite a scene. You should not be that way in disciplining children, and neither should you, yourselves, get really upset. You should educate children with reason so that you can really teach them well. If you cannot even get over a trifle and lose your temper easily, how can you expect to increase your gong?” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)

This made me realize my grandson’s behavior was an opportunity for me to improve my character. Instead of focusing on his faults, I needed to look within, let go of my attachment to controlling him, and change my authoritarian approach.

My frustration stemmed from my attachment to self and wanting him to be easy to manage. When he wasn’t, I would grow anxious and resentful, which interfered with my cultivation. Through studying the Fa, I understood I should treat him with compassion, viewing him as a sentient being to be saved.

This grandson, my younger son’s, had a tough start. His parents divorced when he was little, and he’s been raised in my elder son’s home. Though treated like their own, he remained defiant. I wondered why I struggled with him when I could easily connect with other children. I envied families without grandchildren, thinking I’d have more time for cultivation. But I realized I was looking outward, not inward.

Upon looking within, I uncovered a rooted resentment that fueled my temper. Being born in the 1940s to a poor family with seven siblings, I faced hunger and hardship, but I obeyed my parents dutifully. I hoped marriage would bring a better life, but my husband lied about his age, which led to long-term resentment. These experiences fueled the bad temper I now had to overcome through cultivation.

Despite years of cultivation practice, my resentment lingered, especially in China’s harsh living environment. I felt ashamed and realized my desire for a perfect family fed this flaw. This then manifested itself in my irrational reactions to my grandson. As society’s morals decline, I saw that only by improving myself could I guide him and help others in my family.

My grandson is kind at heart and knows Dafa is good. He would bring home discarded truth-clarifying booklets he found and would ask me to give them to others. I began seeing him as a being who is here for the Fa. Although he was misled by the Chinese Communist Party’s propaganda, I encouraged him to ignore the false narrative and view Falun Dafa as a path to goodness.

This shift brought about change. He would bow before Master’s portrait and listen to Master’s Fa lectures before going to bed, though he often fell asleep. Initially, I grew frustrated and spoke to him in a harsh tone. But he said, “If you improve, I’ll improve.” This woke me up. Master was guiding me through his words. My responsibility is to cultivate well, not blame others. My critical, resentful attitude hindered my compassion and tolerance, which I needed to embody Dafa’s mighty virtue.

I now played Master’s lectures for him without expecting him to listen for a long time. When I asked if he’s a young Dafa disciple, he firmly replied, “Yes!” He’s studying harder and has improved in school. Dafa transformed him, and through this, my character also improved. My son and daughter-in-law also saw this change and credited Master and Dafa.

I used to try to suppress my grandson’s misbehavior with anger, but this backfired. Master used this experience to help me rein in my temper. By aligning with Dafa’s principles, I could truly change him. Removing my resentment and cultivating my tolerance also resolved our family tension and created a harmonious environment. This, in turn, freed up more time for my studying the Fa and helping Master to awaken others.